


Headed Straight for the Castle

by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug, safficwriter



Series: Castle on a Cloud [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, Eskild is the Mom Friend, Evak - Freeform, Film Student Even, Homophobia, Insomnia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Modern Royalty, Panic Attacks, Prince Isak, Sad Isak, Student Even, Teenage Shenanigans, Touch-Starved, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 62,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9684140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxesofflowers/pseuds/boxesofflowers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eeyoreneedsahug/pseuds/Eeyoreneedsahug, https://archiveofourown.org/users/safficwriter/pseuds/safficwriter
Summary: Isak is the heir to the throne of one of the most powerful nations in the world, but he would rather be anyone else. Being a prince, growing up in the public eye, never making any choices of his own - it’s all been overwhelming. After sneaking out one night, he meets a college student that makes him smile for what feels like the first time. Can he cling to this one point of normality? And will his family - and the tabloids - find out the truth?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We love this. Please love this.  
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> Title from Castle by Halsey.
> 
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> 

It’s not too often that Isak follows the rules, but it’s been awhile since he’s actually snuck out. He’s pretty sure he’s in the clear but still feels the need to check over his shoulder every few seconds to see if his ‘please-don’t-give-me-a-security-detail’ has caught up with him yet. He had parted with his phone for the occasion, so he couldn’t be tracked as easily, be he knew it was only a matter of time before someone discovers his empty bed and conspicuously open window. Isak knows what he’s doing is pretty dangerous, but he can’t help but feel it’s justified. He just has to know--if he’s really, finally, going to this university next year, he has to scope it out first. He can’t go in cold and still be the cool guy, anxiety free (not happening), and do his family proud (definitely not happening). 

But after only an hour on campus, it doesn’t seem like anything special. He likes it, and he’s sure that once he’s actually here he’ll find it more interesting, but besides the tired student he bumped into working the register of the café he hasn’t really seen anyone.

It happens as he’s checking over his shoulder for what must be the 400th time in the last 10 minutes. The world shifts and he’s suddenly laying flat on the ground.

“Shit. Fuck. Sorry. Are you ok?” 

It takes Isak a second to realize that he must have bumped into someone. Someone who is currently looming over him, holding out a hand to help him off of the ground. Someone who is very attractive. 

“Ummmm,” Isak mumbles, fairly disoriented. The tall blonde continues to hold out a hand, and Isak takes it tentatively. His heart is racing. Half because he doesn’t want to be recognized, and half because the boy makes him nervous. He looks so...perfect. Probably the most perfect boy he’s ever seen. “Thanks. I mean, sorry.”

“It’s fine, I bumped into you, I’m pretty sure.” There’s an odd amusement in his eyes, and he’s staring right at Isak. Unflinchingly. They’re so blue, his eyes. 

“I’m also at fault,” Isak is quick to assure. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He’s suddenly self-conscious of his hastily assembled disguise. A snapback, a hoodie. He’d been so reliant on the darkness and not running into anyone, that he hadn’t planned very far in advance. There’s no way in hell he’s not getting recognized. 

“It must have hurt, though…” The boy trails off. His face twists into a grin. 

“When you body checked me?” Isak asks jokingly, his anxiety melting. “Yeah. A bit.”

“No. When you fell from heaven,” the boy starts to laugh, and Isak levels the most withering glare of his life at him before breaking and beginning to laugh too. 

“Points for delivery, but deductions for unoriginality,” he says. 

“It was worth a shot,” the guy shrugs slightly, making an almost pout and tilting his head. They stand there for another few moments, just staring at each other. Well, not exactly staring, Isak prefers to think of it as admiring.

“Yeah it was,” Isak says, stalling for time. “Uh...what’s your name?” He asks, trying to prolong the conversation. The boy smiles like he’s relieved Isak wants to keep talking.

“Even. Even Bech Næsheim. You?” The boy--Even--replies.

“Oh,” Isak had forgotten that this part was a natural next step. “Adrian Eksett,” he answers. It’s the name on his fake ID. “But my friends call me Isak. It’s my middle name,” he amends after a second. It would be too risky to try to remember to respond to Adrian all the time. Of course, this is all a assuming there will be more time together. With Even.

“Halla, Isak,” Even says.

“Woah. Woah,” Isak motions dramatically for Even to stop. “You have to be a level 3 friend to unlock my nickname. But you can level up through engaging conversation, compliments, and good taste in music.” Even laughs. Isak’s heart skips. How could he have gone his entire life without hearing that sound?

“Nas?” Even asks. 

Isak nods, even though he’s not completely sure what they’re talking about. “Yeah?”

“Nas. Illmatic? The greatest album of all time. Have you heard it?” Isak shakes his head, feeling himself blush. 

“I’ve heard _of_ it, but-” Isak starts before Even cuts him off. Isak smiles. It’s likely Even has no clue who he actually is. 

“No excuse. I have it on my phone. Do you want to grab some take out and we can listen to it?” 

This couldn’t be going any worse or any better. Of course he wants to get take out with Even. More than anything. But he’s already playing a dangerous game. He’s amazed that he hasn’t fucked up badly enough for Even to notice. Yet. 

“You think I’m that easy?” Isak says in mock outrage. He takes a deep breath. “Because you are completely right. Lead the way.” Even laughs his perfect laugh, and Isak feels himself blush. Again. 

“C’mon. I know the best burger place,” Even starts to walk without another word, and, even to his own surprise, Isak follows him, tripping over himself to catch up before settling in to match Even’s leisurely stroll. 

“What are you studying?” Isak asks after a few moments of silence. He’s hoping that Even goes to school here. It would be a safe guess...not to mention that Isak is supposed to study here come August. 

“Film. I want to be a director I think. Anything to do with movies really,” Even responds glancing over at Isak. “What about you?”

“I want to study biology. Next year,” Isak says. He’s pretty sure his parents will push him towards politics, but it doesn’t hurt to hope.

“Oh! That’s fun. I’m a first year myself. Everything is really interesting. New. Fresh,” Even responds brightly. Isak feels a smile creeping onto his face. This perfect boy is only a first year? They might run into each other? As actual classmates?

By the time they actually get to the restaurant, Isak feels like his heart might jump out of his chest. If Even were anybody else, Isak has no doubt he’d be able to flirt effortlessly, but this...this is Even.

Even orders something complicated sounding, so Isak just follows his lead, repeating the older boy verbatim. Even makes a joke about how much of a coincidence this is, but all Isak can focus on is the smooth sound of his voice. 

They grab a corner table in the slightly shabby space and sit on the same side of the table, with their backs pressed up against the wall. Their elbows bump as they begin to eat. Isak can feel Even’s leg bouncing up and down in time to the song playing over the restaurant's tinny speakers. After a few minutes of eating Even pulls out his phone. 

“Here. Listen,” he says passing an ear bud to Isak. Isak hesitates for a second before pulling down his hood and taking the ear bud carefully. He hears a train. He purses his lips slightly and sneaks a glance over at Even. Even is staring back at him expectantly. 

“Do you like it?” Even asks. Isak smiles. He’s only heard about 3 seconds.

“So far, so good,” he jokes. Even shushes him and they start listening again. They sit in almost complete silence for the entirety of the album. When it’s finished, Isak doesn’t really know what to do. 

They’ve demolished their burgers - Even insisted they share, despite having ordered identical things. So, they cut their burgers in half and traded - half Isak’s, half Even’s. Isak thinks that even blindfolded he’d know the difference.

“Wow.” Isak doesn’t really know what else to say. “You’re definitely well past a level 3 friend with that contribution.” Even smiles, and Isak’s stomach flips. 

“So. Isak. Is this the last time I’m gonna see you?” he asks teasingly, and the younger boy gives a nervous laugh.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on what other albums you have to show me,” he answers before flushing slightly. He doesn’t want to seem so desperate. 

“Good. I’m glad,” Even says, looking amused. “So, am I gonna send you letters by carrier pigeon or can I have your number?”

“Yeah, obviously. You can have my” he stutters, reaching for his phone with a shaky hand before realizing he doesn’t have it “Christ, sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

“It’s alright, as long as it means I’m seeing you again. You can punch me if you want, I don’t give a shit.”

“This is...crazy,” Isak says, laughing around his words. Even reaches into his pocket, pulling out a pen and scribbling his phone number on a napkin. He folds it carefully and reaches over, opening Isak’s coat, slipping it into the inner pocket. When he’s done, he smooths the coat back in place, smirking before standing up slowly, grabbing his bag, and leaving without another word.

Isak stares after him for what feels like an eternity before he realizes he’s alone. And it’s 3 AM. Fuck, he needs to get home.

He still feels the gentle pressure of Even’s hand on his chest, and it makes him shiver. He slowly stands, dazed by the last few hours. He knows better than to get attached. When Even finds out who he is...who his parents are, he won’t want anything to do with him. And his parents. They’d never approve of a friendship, much less a relationship with a boy like Even. Isak frowns slightly, his good mood dissipating as quickly as the warmth of Even’s hand on his chest. He turns after one last glance back at the table and walks away. 

\---

Isak knows he’s in trouble when he sees the sleek black car pull up beside him when he’s about 4 blocks from home. He’d taken the train over to the University and gotten back without any issue, but now, so close to home, he’d finally been caught. It seems fitting that a night filled with hope would crash into reality once more. He takes off his hat and pulls down his hood as quickly as possible on the off chance he’ll be able to use the disguise once more. 

“Your highness,” one of his security guards steps out from the passenger seat of the car, nodding his head in a bow. “Get your ass in the car. You have lead us on such a fucking wild goose chase. Sir.” Isak rolls his eyes but complies, walking towards the car. He stops before he gets in. 

“How many times do I have to tell you I hate that?” he says.

“Hate what, Sir?” His guard grins.

“That. Sir. Highness. It’s stupid. Just cut it out already, Jonas.” He steps into the back seat, and Jonas closes the door behind him.

“What should I address you as? Dude? Bud? Doesn’t seem appropriate.”

“If we smoke together you can call me whatever you want.”

“Fine, _bro_.” They’ve had this conversation countless times, but the change never sticks.

“Man I’m so glad you found me and not-” Isak breaks off when he see who’s driving. “Good morning Elias. How was your evening?” He stutters, abruptly and awkwardly shifting into forced formality. 

“It sucked because some stuck up gay prince decided to pull a runner,” Elias glares in the rear view mirror at Isak. Isak curls in on himself slightly, hunching his shoulders as if he’s trying to blend in with the leather upholstery. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, unwilling to fight. He’s sleep deprived (but that’s nothing new) and confronted with someone who makes his skin crawl. It’s just not his night. Well, morning. 

“Your parents are worried sick. They’ve been calling constantly,” Elias says.

“Yeah right,” Isak mutters before replying more clearly. “Don’t have my phone. But you know that I’m sure.”

“You’re right. About both things. They haven’t noticed. And we found your phone. I’m keeping it.” Elias says.

“Elias,” Jonas warns from his place in the passenger seat. 

“It’s fine,” Isak mumbles trying to avoid prolonging the confrontation.

The car pulls away from the curb with a screech, and Isak looks out the window at the world he’s rarely allowed into. It’s not until now he realizes how actually exhausted he is - the world is almost swimming, and he can’t fight his heavy eyelids.

What seems like only a moment later, he’s being shaken roughly. Jonas is peering down at him with concern written in his features. 

“Uh, Sir--dude. Sir dude. Are you sure you’re going to be ok?

“Why...why are you waking me up?” he grumbles, and Jonas cracks a smile, practically dragging him out of the seat and onto the pavement. He starts pulling Isak along through the halls of the palace. As they approach Isak’s room Jonas answers. 

“If you’re going to sleep, do it quickly. You have things to do in the morning and you can’t go around looking like you’re perpetually hungover.”

“What? What do I have to do?” Isak asks and Jonas purses his lips. 

“Breakfast. With some visiting people from...I don’t know exactly. Somewhere sort of far. Maybe [Iralia](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157634402932/au-modern-royalty-population-46-million). And...your parents. Of course. So, sleep is probably important.” 

“Fuck. Ok.”

“Remember to represent our proud country of [Baewyth](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157458957362/au-modern-royalty-population-67-million) well,” Jonas says mockingly. Isak flips him off as he enters his room and Jonas replies by blowing him a kiss. Isak pulls the door softly shut behind him. Finally, he’s alone. He lets out a shaky breath and allows some of the tension to release from his shoulders. 

He manages to stumble his way into bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes before passing out. There’s no time to enjoy it because almost as soon as he’s out, he hears the blaring of his alarm clock, and he realizes with dread what he’s about to do. 

He forces himself up and into the shower, leaning his forehead against the tiles for a few minutes, letting the hot water drench him. There’s nothing he wants to do less than get out, but he knows in the pit of his stomach that he has to. He doesn’t have a choice.

So, he washes his hair, scrubs his face until it stings, and steps out. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s supposed to wear for something like this, oddly enough, even though he’s been to a thousand of these breakfasts. He settles on the first thing he can find, hoping it’ll be at least somewhat acceptable.

His hair is still damp, but there’s not much he can do about that. His heart flutters in his throat when he imagines all the different ways this could go wrong. All the different looks his father could give him to show his disapproval. And his mother. He used to be so close with them. Sort of. No, not really. 

“Shit.” He realizes he’s been standing here too long, staring in the mirror, day dreaming. He smooths his hair one last time and rushes down the stairs, almost tripping over his own feet.

“Where the fuck were you, Isak?” Elias mutters to him outside of the doors to the dining room. “They’re waiting for you.” 

“Sorry,” Isak looks down at his shoes and frowns. Technically, Elias is supposed to call him Sir, just like Jonas does, but that’s almost never the case. He knows they have no respect for each other, but Isak at least tries to keep things civil. Elias goes out of his way to humiliate Isak and point out all of his flaws. Isak feels like he can handle that job well enough on his own, to be honest. Elias always stops just short of actually breaking his contract and endangering Isak, but he’s sure that any day now, Elias will forget those boundaries. 

“I’m gonna find out where you went. Last night. Little asshole,” he practically hisses, and Isak grits his teeth, pushing open the heavy door. 

As soon as he walks into the huge room, all eyes are on him. 

“There he is. Finally,” his mother, Queen Marianne, says with an even tone, glaring at him through a forced smile from over her mimosa. Or, it could be orange juice, Isak thinks, but he sincerely doubts it. Truly, he’s impressed by how well she can keep a placid expression while simultaneously staring daggers at him.

“I apologize, Mama.” As soon as he’s said it he knows that it will be the subject of argument between him and his parents later. He never knows when they want him to make it seem like they’re closer than they are and when they want him to act with propriety and address them by title. He glances over at his father, who frowns as they make eye contact, shaking his head imperceptibly. 

“It’s good of you to join us, your royal highness,” says the…(delegate? Isak isn’t entire sure what place he actually holds in the monarchy) from Iralia. God, he hates when people call him “his royal highness.” He’s barely a part of the family to begin with. It all seems too artificial. Sometimes he shortens it to HRH, which he’s come up a bunch of other meanings for. He can also use it as a sort of shorthand with Jonas and his other friends (more like allies) in the castle. He can ask if it’s an HRH situation and prepare his ‘game face’ if it is. 

This is probably the epitome of HRH situations. Anytime his parents are involved in his life, it seems to magnify any of his mistakes and all of his problems. 

“The pleasure is all mine, your grace,” he says. He’s glad he’d looked up the proper address of the visitors. He’d already fucked up one address, and two would be unforgivable in the eyes of his mother. 

There’s a quick shaking of hands before he’s sitting, and almost immediately the food is brought out. He cringes to himself, realizing they’ve probably been waiting for him. His stomach twists uncomfortably and any appetite he might have had moments earlier disappears. He hopes the stomach ache is from anxiety - he’d hate to have his lack of sleep make him sick on top of everything else. Sometimes it can be hard to tell.

One of the servers pours him a cup of coffee, and he smiles gratefully. It’s Magnus. They’re fairly good friends at this point, and he’s beyond relieved that at least one person in the room cares about him. He feels Magnus bump against his arm. A note drops into his lap and he glances down. _Head up. Game face. I have beer._ Isak smiles at his lap, before looking up. No one’s noticed. 

The meal continues on in a similar way, every so often he’s expected to respond, but most of the time he just sits in silence, pushing his food around his plate.

“So, Isak, where will you be pursuing your higher educational endeavors?” one of the guests asks, and Isak is about to respond before he’s cut off.

“He wants to study politics and economics next year at Noulyra University. The royal university of course,” his mother says, and he nods, the sick feeling intensifying in his stomach. 

“That’s right,” he says, and he feels his stomach roll more violently. If he throws up he’s never going to hear the end of it. He stress-vomits all the time and now’s no different. He takes another sip of coffee, trying to calm his rolling stomach. It’s not working. “Excuse me for a moment,” he says trying to rise from his seat. His father, King Terje, clears his throat and Isak knows he has to sit. “Pardon me,” he apologizes, sitting back down.

“We have business to discuss,” his father states.

“Of course,” Isak replies, inclining his head in deference. 

“These delegates from Iralia come with several concerns, primarily concerning their border with [Thoara](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157655584087/au-modern-royalty-population-50-million),” the King’s voice is measured. Only his eyes reveal his annoyance. 

“Yes Sirs and Madam. Our territory continues to shrink as the Thoarans claim more and more land,” the Iralian delegate hurries to clarify, seeming not to pick up on the exasperation of the monarchs. 

“How do you want our kingdom to aid in this dispute? This border is nowhere near our state. Not to mention how...difficult the Thoarans have been when it comes to foreign relations.” The King folds his hands in his lap. Despite the pointed wording of his question, his father still manages to appear respectful. Isak sometimes wonders how his parents can be so diplomatic with the affairs of Baewyth and not within the actual family. 

“Your kingdom exerts an incredible influence over the free world, Sir. We were hoping you’d be able to...pressure them with your alliance,” the diplomat has clearly picked up on the request starting to fall on deaf ear and quickly turns towards flattery. Isak is tempted to roll his eyes, but a quick glance towards his mother (watching him like a hawk) deters his impulsivity. 

“Pressure isn’t something I deliver easily. It’s not a game, as I’m sure you’re aware.” The royal family is notoriously cold towards other nations, one of the things that Isak can’t personally stand.

“We would not have come forward with this request if it wasn’t our last option. We have negotiated and called on many of our old favors, but still, they persist.”

“Before we’re able to do anything, we need to establish a dialogue. I will not risk war over something that could be easily solved with diplomacy,” the King says. The Queen nods in agreement. Isak sees the delegate’s face twist into a frown. 

“We are willing to collaborate in any way possible as long as we can halt aggression between our two countries.”

“There is another possible option that we would be willing to pursue. It is more delicate, however, and we will not share the full details with you, but trust that everything will be taken care of,” the Queen says, taking over from the King. The diplomat nods in acquiescence. His father stands, and everyone else follows his lead. They shake hands again.

“We’ll talk later,” his father says as Isak walks toward the doorway. He nods, already dreading the exchange. He trudges out of the hall, the room spinning slightly due to his exhaustion. 

“How’re you holding up?” Magnus says as he passes. He tries to smile, but he knows that Magnus can see through him when his face falls. “I’ll bring you something!” he calls, hurrying away towards the kitchens. 

Finally, Isak is allowed to go back upstairs and sleep. He rushes up to his room as quickly as possible, utilizing every shortcut he knows. 

He can’t make it fast enough. He ducks into a bathroom off of the main hall of the North Wing’s third floor, breathing heavily. He’s hyperventilating. He throws up the coffee and the few pieces of bacon he’d managed to eat as quietly as he can, knowing that even though he’s on the third floor, he is still in a more public area of the castle and being caught mid panic attack on the floor of a bathroom, puking is not in his plans. He waits until he doesn’t feel as though he’s on the verge of passing out before he sneaks back to his room. 

Panic attacks are draining, and already being exhausted is making it worse, but he manages to make it back. In his bedroom, he sees a note on his pillow next to his phone.

_Stole it back. - Jonas_

He smiles to himself, folding the note carefully and placing it on the cluttered bedside table. Suddenly, he remembers the other note. Folded, in his crumpled jacket’s inside pocket. Even’s number. He knows there’s no way he’s going to stay awake long enough to even find his jacket, let alone type a coherent text, but just knowing it exists makes him feel a little better.

He slips off his shoes, and strips down to his boxers, climbing underneath the heavy comforter, asleep even before his head hits the pillow.

His dreams, nightmares actually, are only partially realized, but the uncertainty makes them almost twice as terrifying. He tosses in bed, waking every once in awhile only to quickly fall back asleep. 

In a weird moment of almost deja vu, he is woken up by Jonas shaking him. Again. 

“Hey buddy. You have visitors.” Jonas says softly. Isak groans and tries to pull his comforter over his head, but is stopped by Jonas grabbing his wrist. 

“Dude. I’m naked.” And exhausted. And nauseous, he wants to say, but he doesn’t.

“It’s Eskild” Jonas explains quietly and Isak sighs. He loves Eskild and even though he gives him shit most of the time. He’d probably take a bullet for the guy who’d taken over for his childhood nurse when it became uncool to have a nanny when he was 12. Eskild had still been in school and had started unofficially watching out for him before being officially hired on later. 

“You can let him in,” he replies grudgingly. If he’s letting Jonas talk to him he might as well let Eskild in as well. 

“My bean. My child. My radiant, smelly son. How are we doing today?” Eskild says as he breezes into the room. He sees Isak and stops cold, his mouth dropping open slightly.

“M’ok,” Isak says, somewhat hoarsely. Eskild rolls his eyes.

“Right. Yeah. Of course. How could I have thought any different? What with you looking so healthy.”

“Trust me, I’m just tired,” he mumbles.

“You should know by now you can’t trick me. You’re a terrible liar. How bad was it?” Eskild asks, walking over and feeling Isak’s forehead for a fever.

“Bad,” Isak says giving up on any pretense of him being alright and leaning into Eskild’s touch. He rarely gets to be close with anyone. He thinks, if his circumstances were different, he’d probably be very tactile naturally. Now it’s just because he’s borderline touch starved from spending long days surrounded by people who he doesn’t know and who don’t care about him. 

“What was bad?” Jonas asks. Isak forgets sometimes that Jonas (and most of his friends and allies for that matter) are relatively new to his life. For the longest time, it was just him and Eva, and later Eskild, against everyone else. 

“It's…” Isak glances at Eskild helplessly, trying to prompt him to explain. Eskild seems to understand.

“He had a really bad panic attack. He gets them sometimes, it’s alright. I can try to coach you through some things that might help him, but he honestly just disappears and comes back from wherever he’s hid looking like he died and came back to life. Barely,” he finishes with a pointed glare at Isak. Jonas looks a little alarmed. 

“Do you have any medicine? Or need any help?” Jonas asks hurriedly, already in crisis mode. Isak laughs bitterly before answering. 

“You’ve met my parents. Do you think they’re going to believe that I need any help?”

“Your parents just want the best for you,” Jonas says, and Isak visibly deflates. He gives Eskild a desperate look, and he proves yet again why Isak loves him so much.

“Oh you poor deluded child,” Eskild says shaking his head. “We have, uh, something to do, right Isak?”

“Uh-” Isak starts, but Eskild cuts him off.

“Yeah. I just remembered. Jonas, you can leave. It’s alright. I’ll make sure nobody’s sniping him or slipping him a cyanide capsule or something,” Eskild makes a shooing motion, gesturing for Jonas to leave. Jonas looks down at Isak and then to Eskild before turning to stand guard in the hall. He motions for Isak to text him as he walks through the door and Isak gives a tight nod. He probably won’t text for a while.

“Thanks,” Isak breathes out as Jonas exits. He really likes Jonas, but Jonas doesn’t know what going on. He wants to protect Isak, but Isak has to remember that he is employed by the Monarchy, and therefore it is a requirement that he is loyal first and foremost to the king and queen. 

“Now that eyebrow man is gone…” Eskild jokes. He’s taken to nicknaming everyone else in Isak’s circle of friends and pretending he doesn’t know their name, coming up with stranger names every time. It usually makes Isak laugh, which he realizes must be the point, but today the attempt is met with silence. “Wow, it’s that bad, huh?”

“It’s ok, Eskild.” Isak really isn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now. 

“A little birdy told me you snuck out? How did it go?” Eskild asks anyway. Isak hesitates. He’s conflicted. On one hand, he’s not really sure if he wants to share Even yet. On the other, he wants to tell everyone. He takes a breath.

“It wasn’t horrible,” he starts. Eskild tilts his head, encouraging him to continue. 

“The campus was empty. The coffee was good…” Isak trails off. 

“That’s it?” Eskild asks, slightly disappointed. 

“I got a burger with a...student. A...guy,” Isak looks up at Eskild. “I really like him. I’ll never see him again.”

“My official job is to make sure you don’t wallow,” Eskild starts and Isak snorts. “No, really, look it up. Babysitter to a grown asshole, main duties include de-wallowing. It’s official. And as such...I must insist that you stop wallowing.”

“It’s not...anything...like a date or something. It was just a friend thing. Like, student to student,” Isak mumbles, glancing down at his coat lying on the floor next to his bed. 

“Why are you so sure you’ll never see him again?”

“Things are just...not gonna work out.” Isak feels Eskild sit down on his bed. After a second he feels Eskild’s hand on his shoulder. 

“It’ll be ok,” he murmurs, rubbing his hand over Isak’s back. Isak releases a breath that he wasn’t even aware he’d been holding, trying to relax into the bed further. “It’s ok to have crushes on pretty straight boys.”

“He gave me his number,” Isak says, tone shifting slightly and Eskild grins. “But I don’t have a crush. He’s just really cool. And nice.”

“Ok sweetie,” Eskild says, keeping a steady hand on Isak’s back. 

“He played an awesome album for me.” 

“Maybe you should text him?” Eskild prompts. Isak shakes his head, rubbing his eyes. 

“He won’t want to talk to me.”

“How do you know, negative nelly?” Eskild teases softly.

“I just do. Leave me alone,” Isak says, finally reaching the end of his patience for other people in his space. He pulls the comforter over his head and tries to be as still as possible until Eskild finally leaves, rubbing his back before getting up.

He tries to sleep again. After a few hours of restlessness, though, it’s clear his body wants him to suffer. He’s lucky he doesn’t have anything else to do today because he’s pretty sure if he did he’d just pass out or die or throw up. Or all three.

He reaches over the edge of the bed, grabbing his laptop. He sits up slowly, opening up the computer. He hesitates for a moment before typing Illmatic into the search bar of Spotify. He clicks play and smiles, imagining he’s back in the tiny restaurant next to Even. He closes his eyes, letting the music wash over him, wondering what he should say when he texts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love you all! Thank you so much. 
> 
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> 

Isak looks like shit, he feels like shit, and in short, everything is shit. The only only way that he’s gotten through any social situations recently is just by not engaging, but that won’t work here. 

He can’t can’t hide from Eva. She’s been his friend since before he can clearly remember, so it isn’t really a surprise that she can take one look at him and give a half frown, knowing something is wrong. He’d call her his sister--if he wasn’t afraid of his parents finding out they were that close. They manage to take away almost everything they know is important to him, and he’d be devastated to lose Eva.

She’d come to live with her aunt (Isak’s nanny, who had been more like a parent than anyone in his family tree) when she was four years old, after her parents split up and started traveling more for work. She wasn’t originally from Baewyth, but from one of its smallest neighboring colonies, [Blayrus](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157525040052/au-modern-royalty-population-32-million), (a name Isak faintly recalls from some stifling history lecture his father had given him) which had fallen under the control of Baewyth about 20 years before Isak was born. 

Isak has an early memory of clinging to the pant leg of Auntie Helene, upset at the small, red headed girl standing across the room. He thought that she would steal _his_ Auntie away. Even then he can remember being terrified that he would be alone, and all of his found family (at that point only Auntie Helene and Lea, one of the younger housekeepers (who he adored)) would leave him. He somehow already knew his biological family wouldn’t help him much. 

After a short while, they were close friends, and although Helene had long since moved on, Isak still kept in touch with Eva. She was pretty much his only real access to the outside world, and that was precious. Luckily, his parents didn’t seem to hate her, so she was allowed to spend time with him. They’d had something scheduled for today - but when Eva saw what condition he was in she decided it’d be better to just stay in.

It’s the day after the breakfast with his parents, but Isak still feels exhausted and nervous, riding the aftershocks of his panic attack. 

“What’s going on?” Eva asks, and Isak huffs out a laugh.

“A lot.”

“Do anything fun lately?”

“Well…” He debates whether or not to tell Eva about his night out, but decides against it. “If you consider breakfast with my parents to be fun, then yeah. I’ve been having a ball.”

“We should get pizza. You wanna get pizza?”

He shifts slightly in bed, playing with the hem of the comforter. She sighs dramatically, rolling her eyes.

“There’s gonna be cameras,” he says, and she touches his shoulder.

“You can hide behind me. C’mon. It’ll be fun.”

\--

An hour later, they’re at a pizza shop, paparazzi pressed against the windows, Jonas standing by the door. The other customers are whispering and pointing. A few people are taking pictures, but Isak couldn’t care less. He doesn’t usually go out in public with Eva - he doesn’t want people to think they’re dating or anything like that - but he’s pretty much stopped caring about everything in the past few hours.

Usually something like this would make him nervous. He hates paps, he hates “fans” and he definitely hates having to put a show for them. It’s all so tiring. Today, though, it all just feels like a blur.

Eva’s talking about her girlfriend in between bites of pizza. Isak isn’t eating, just nursing a cup of coffee, but he likes seeing Eva have a good time. She takes another bite.

“She’s so funny, Isak. You’d love her,” she finishes, smiling. Isak forces a smile back.

“Really?” Eva nods emphatically.

“Oh yeah.” There’s a beat of silence, and she puts down her food. She takes his hand, face shifting into a look of concern. “What’s wrong? Really.” She’s lowered her voice. He hesitates, not sure exactly what to say. Only the usual? He doesn’t really have a good reason for feeling terrible, it’s just...anxiety.

“It’s all this college stuff. It just...stresses me out. I’m alright,” he reassures.

“Yeah?” Eva tilts her head. 

“Mmhmm.” She frowns slightly, clearly not entirely convinced. 

“You’d let me know, though?” she asks, staring into Isak eyes. Isak tilts his head down before replying. He can lie to her, but looking her in the eye would make it so much harder. 

“Everything’s ok. I mean it,” he says in what he desperately hopes is a convincing tone of voice. 

“Really?” Eva prompts. He nods.

“Family. Health. Sleep. Everything. I swear it.” His breath hitches as she narrows her eyes. 

“You don’t want to talk?” she asks. Isak sighs. Of course she’d seen right through him. He couldn’t seem to keep people safe and out of his problems. He shakes his head. “Ok,” Eva continues. “Happy things only!” She says lightly, smiling again. Eva brushes her long hair over one shoulder, trying to glance at the bright camera flash from another customer’s phone . She picks up her piece of pizza and turns it toward him, raising her eyebrows. “Take a bite,” she says, and Isak laughs.

“C’mon,” he almost begs, though he’s still trying to smile. She giggles, but her eyes are more serious.

“It’s good!” she insists, moving it closer to his mouth. He rolls his eyes, laughing again, trying to put on what might be a cute show for the other patrons. If they were in the castle right now, he’d probably be more outwardly grumpy about the fact Eva’s literally forcing him to eat, but they aren’t, so he’s not.

“Fine,” he says, mock exasperated, and takes a bite. He pretends he hates it when Eva mothers him, but really, it’s nice to know somebody cares. There are only so many people on earth who really care about him, and even fewer who show it. He chews and swallows while she claps her hands softly. He rolls his eyes, and she rests her hand on his again, rubbing the backs of his knuckles with her thumb gently. 

“Yes! Nice. Got you to eat,” she says, and Isak feels a little pang of guilt. She worries about him - she knows he forgets basic things like this, and he hates that she has to worry. He smiles tightly at her.

“One bite. Of pizza. And I’m fine. I eat,” he lies and takes another sip of his coffee.

“One bite’s better than nothing! And do you really want to have this conversation?” Eva knows better than anyone how to shut down Isak’s crap. “You don’t. I know you don’t.”

“You wanna leave?” he asks, and she nods.

“We _will_ talk,” Eva says more seriously, motioning for Jonas to come over . “I’m watching you!” she says jokingly, standing and pulling Isak up too. Isak smiles as they walk out of the shop in a half hug. He knows how dead serious she is about talking. If she thinks something is wrong, she will hunt down the cause of Isak’s strife relentlessly.

A girl on the sidewalk stops to get a picture with them, and Isak tries to force a genuine looking smile, but he’s not sure it’s working. There are still a few paparazzi following them, but Jonas keeps them at a good distance. They walk mostly in silence, every so often Eva pointing out some storefront that looks interesting, or making a joke.

When they get back, Jonas lets them in one of the side entrances, and they climb the staircase up to Isak’s suite. He doesn’t use most of it - there’s a kitchen, a theater, a living room - but still, it’s nice to know he’s not going to run into a housekeeper making toast in his boxers at 2 AM.

It’s lonely most of the time. A majority of days he just spends lying in bed, only leaving if Eskild physically drags him. Or, hiding in the corner on his laptop. It’s a toss up. 

“You want a cuddle? Would you like that, sad little prince?” Eva asks, and he laughs softly. She flicks on the soft fairy lights she’d put up two months ago when she declared his room a ‘pit of despair’ and opened his windows for 3 hours while she helped him tidy up, despite the snow outside.

“I guess so,” he says, and she scoffs.

“You guess so?” Isak shrugs. Eva grabs him around the waist as she flops back onto the bed and pulls him with her. He lets out a surprised squeak and Eva laughs at his disgruntled face. “I know you do.”

“If they got a picture of this they’d flip. Prince Isak cozying up to bombshell,” he mumbles, but lets her cuddle closer to him. He’d never _like_ Eva that way - he’s never liked any girl that way - but he loves being held.

“Good thing I’m in a committed relationship with the love of my life, hmm?” She teases, poking him in the stomach.

“How do you know? I mean, when did you realize? She was the love of your life,” he asks softly, and she fusses with a small piece of his hair.

“She’s…” Eva pauses, letting out her breath in a sigh. “Amazing. I just...it was our second date I think...and she was wearing these little pink gloves and she remembered what kind of coffee I liked and ordered it for me and...I don’t know. I looked at her at that second and I knew it. Just like that.”

“Wow,” Isak sighs, almost wistfully. 

“We’d seen each other for years at school. Then one day...we were at a party, and I saw her crying. In the bathroom. We started talking, became friends, and then...I asked her out. It was really that simple. It seems crazy but...don’t lose heart, Isak. Not everyone can be as perfect as Vilde and I,” Eva ends jokingly. 

Isak adjusts his position slightly. He’s not really sure what to say. He takes a breath and lets it out shakily before starting. 

“I...met someone,” he says slowly. He feels Eva’s arms squeeze him slightly tighter for a second. 

“Are you...ok?” Eva asks softly. 

“I don’t know,” Isak responds honestly. Ever since he met Even he’s had more trouble sleeping. He doesn’t know whether or not to text. He doesn’t know what to write even if he did. He’s afraid of his parents. He’s afraid of the world. He’s afraid of Even finding out who he is and hating him. Or laughing at him. Or...thinking he’s the person from the magazines. That would be the worst of all.

“Did she-” Isak tenses slightly as Eva starts and she shushes him before going on. “Did she know it was you?” 

Isak doesn’t want to tell anybody how he’s really feeling about Even. He doesn’t even want to tell himself. He’s not out. Not even to himself, in actuality. So, he lets Eva believe his mystery date was with a girl.

“It wasn’t bad or anything if that’s what you’re thinking,” he says.

“Was she really pushy? Do you need me to go beat her up?” Eva says. Even if Isak says he’s fine, Eva knows to check further. 

“It was really sweet. I think I like...her. I don’t know yet though. I’m sort of…” Isak trails off. He’s focusing on absorbing as much of Eva’s warmth as he can, knowing that when she leaves he’ll have to make it last.

“Overthinking it? Surprising,” Eva says drily. 

“It all makes me nervous,” he admits, and she tucks some of his hair behind his ear. 

“It’s gonna be ok,” she tries to be reassuring, but she knows that anything that Isak has to do is made more difficult simply because of who he is. Something as simple as a walk can turn into a shit show in seconds - Eva can’t begin to imagine how big a mess a relationship, especially unapproved, could make.

Isak frowns, but snuggles back into Eva’s arms. It won’t be _ok_. Nothing has been ok for a long time, but he’s not going to tell Eva that. Instead he’ll just say, “I hope so,” and try to get some sleep. 

\--

When he wakes up he feels warm and more well rested than he’s felt in a long time. For a second he’s confused by the sensation. Eva is gone, he slept through the night, and she left a big sweatshirt and a beanie behind. He smiles. Everything seems so much easier this morning. Maybe it will be alright? It all seems clear somehow. 

He gets up and digs around in the pockets of his coat, which was haphazardly thrown on the floor the night before, for his phone. He has some updates from various gossip sites and a series of texts from Eva. He smiles and opens them. She’s linked another issue of _[Eighteen](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157415613512/au-modern-royalty)_. Isak looks it over for a second before rolling his eyes and glancing at her commentary.  
_Hey pretty prince!_.  
_So we’re dating now huh?_  
_I always dreamed the day would come!_  
_;) Text me about anything you need. Love you._

Isak laughs at the texts. Ordinarily any article like this would feel like the end of the world, but today it just rolls off of him. Or, he’s gotten so used to it that it doesn’t even register any more. He can’t really tell.

As he picks up his coat, a scrap of paper flutters out of one of the pockets, and almost immediately, he knows it’s Even’s phone number. He contemplates texting him. It’s been a few days. If he doesn’t text soon he might think Isak isn’t interested. 

He goes so far as to make a contact, so the number’s saved in his phone, but can’t seem to get past there. He stops for a moment. Maybe...it wouldn’t hurt to try to find Even online. Even’s a uni student. Everyone has social media these days. He even knows his last name. 

Finding Even is a lot harder than he thought it would be. He manages to misspell Bech Næsheim approximately five different ways before he stumbles on a hit. Then it’s just in an announcement of the winners of a student film contest at a high school. He doesn’t seem to have a facebook, and if he has an instagram or twitter, he doesn’t have his full name on it.

Film studies facebook page for Noulyra University. Photos. There he is. Who is he with? Chris Schistad? Chris’ Facebook is poorly secured enough for him to find links to Instagram and Twitter pages. Perfect. Instagram. There’s a photo of Even, smiling on a couch, a beer in his hand...and he’s tagged. The accounts are private, but Isak’s pretty sure they’re the Even he’s looking for.

He quickly makes alternate Instagram and Twitter accounts with his fake name, but he’s waiting to follow Even for a little while, though. 

He wonders if Even’s looked him up. As far as Isak knows, “Adrian ‘Isak’ Eksett” didn’t exist online till now, but maybe Even is out there somewhere searching for him. The thought makes him smile slightly, and he knows there’s only one thing left to do.

Contact. He _has_ to text Even. That’s next. It’s the natural next step at this point, but even thinking about it makes Isak anxious. He hesitates before typing a quick message.

 _Hey it’s Isak. This is my number._ He frowns, erasing it. Too blunt.

 _Hey, it’s Isak from the other night. What’s up?_ Better. Not perfect, but he’s not confident he can come up with any significant improvement.

He sits back in bed, his laptop open by his side, playing Illmatic, the Noulyra facebook page still open. Now, he just has to wait. Not long apparently, because his phone buzzes almost immediately, and his heart jumps into his throat.

 _What took you so long? We should hang soon. Are you free tonight?_ He feels his heart start to beat faster. It’s not a bad feeling, though, not like normal. This is a good anxious. This is...excited.

 _Don’t know. I want to see you, though._ Too desperate. He frowns, rewriting. _Don’t know. Hope so._

Sent. There’s another quick response.

_Let me know, Adrian ;)_

He stares at his phone with a small smile on his face, enjoying the moment of happiness, trying to make it last as long as he can. 

He can ask if he can visit with Eva. His parents would like that. He could bring Jonas and then ditch them and apologize later. They wouldn’t notice. No one would notice if he wasn’t there. He pushes the thought from his head, just trying to focus on Even’s texts. _Adrian_. Even remembered his - admittedly made up - name. Isak smiles. His luck could be turning. 

There’s a sudden knock on the door, and Isak almost jumps out of his skin. Quickly, he hides his phone under his pillow, slamming his laptop shut. He’s not quite quick enough, still fumbling as Jonas opens the door.

The bodyguard stops after a few steps, stilling almost comically. He tilts his head with a strange look on his face.

“Were you...watching porn?” he asks slowly, and Isak practically chokes on a laugh.

“No!” he almost shouts, and Jonas smirks.

“It’s ok if you were. It’s chill.”

“I wasn’t!” he says, exasperated, and Jonas nods, though he’s clearly not convinced. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

“It’s show time, kiddo.” Isak frowns.

“What are you talking about?” Isak feels panic start to rise, wrapping around his ribcage. Jonas puts his hands on his hips, trying to hide his impatience.

“Meeting. With your parents.” When Isak doesn’t show any sign of recognition, Jonas frowns. “Elias didn’t tell you?”

“No, no Elias didn’t tell me. Fuck. Right now?!” He’s already scrambling out of bed.

“Ten minutes. Here,” Jonas reaches down, picking up a shirt from the floor, tossing it at him, “put this on. You look like garbage.”

Isak tries to smooth some of the wrinkles, hurriedly buttoning the dress shirt. He tries to clear his head, to prepare himself for what’s about to come. He’s not sure what exactly he should be expecting, but knowing his parents, it’s likely something stressful.

He’s escorted downstairs by Jonas, who gives him a small pat on the shoulder before leaving him alone in the doorway. He takes one last deep breath before walking into the confined space.

“Son,” King Terje nods at him from across the room. His father’s greeting is expectedly cold, but it still makes his heart twist slightly even after all of the years of estrangement. He mother doesn’t even acknowledge his presence. He bows slightly, and sits in the first chair he can find, not trusting his balance. It’s almost like the air is thicker in here. It’s harder to breathe.

“We have some business we need to inform you of,” his father says abruptly and Isak nods, folding his hands in his lap.

There’s an awkwardly long pause as a server (is it Magnus? He won’t be able to tell until he turns around) enters the room bringing in beverages for his parents. As the server (yes. Magnus) leaves, the silence resumes. 

“You are now dating Princess Emma of Thoara. You are very happy together. Marriage is on the table,” Queen Marianne finally says. Isak feels his breath rush out of his body all at once. His vision is swimming with black. “We’ve already made arrangements.” Isak can feel his ribs starting to tighten. His breath is shaky. “Well?” His mother says, almost aggressive. Isak can’t form a reply. He stands, running a hand over his face. His knees suddenly feel weak, and he rests a trembling hand on one of the end tables. 

“Isak.” He can hear the warning in his father’s voice. Isak would be rolling his eyes if he had any control over his body. He’s tensed up to the point where he thinks he can feel the blood moving through his veins. 

“We don’t have time for this nonsense,” his mother snaps, walking over to him. She grabs onto his shoulders tightly. “This is your duty. This is your responsibility,” she says, and he takes another shaking breath. Her hands tighten, and her fingernails dig into his skin. He almost stops breathing, he’s so terrified. He can never tell what she’s going to do. “Do you understand?” Isak wants nothing more than to run. 

“Yes,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Marianne,” the King says. Isak is surprised. Why is his father defending him?

She lets him go, shoving him slightly away from her. He stumbles and hits his side against the corner of the table. He winces but tries to collect himself, standing up straight. 

“We’ll have someone inform you of your first date. The social media will all be organized for you. We expect you to look good for all of the magazines. You dress like a hoodlum,” she says with clear distaste. Isak’s ears are still rushing, but his doom seems spelled out as clear as day. He stands still, not sure what he’s supposed to do, dazed from the last few minutes, his ribs letting out small bursts of pain from where he hit them.

“Leave,” his father says shortly. He does, waiting until he’s on the stairs to check his throbbing side. A bruise is already forming, and he sighs, pulling his shirt back down.

This isn’t the first time his parents have arranged something like this - a few years ago they set him up with some girl he’d never met before, Sara, and they’d go on little public dates and he’d have to smile and pretend he liked her. She wasn’t necessarily a bad person, but the whole situation made everything uncomfortable. In the end, she backed out of the arrangement, much to his mother’s outrage.

The relationship with Sara wasn’t a ploy for international power though. This...thing, whatever it was, with Emma, was going to be different. Important. This must have been what his father had referred to in the meeting with the Iralians. The diplomatic relations with Thoara. 

He thinks he might have met Emma once before. At some party a year or so ago. He remembers it only vaguely, but he’s fairly sure it happened. She seemed fine, from what Isak can recall, which admittedly isn’t much.

He wonders what kind of dates they’ll be expected to go on. Public things, obviously, but what kind? Walks in the park? Coffee? He imagines Even looking at the tabloids, seeing the pictures of him arm in arm with some royal girl. The thought makes him sick.

When he gets back to his room, he sees there are a few texts from Eva, and one new one from Even. God, he wants to see Even tonight. But now more than ever he knows this is a stupid idea, and with this new development, he doesn’t exactly feel like talking.

So, he ignores all the messages, climbing into bed and trying to get some sleep. Considering how exhausted he normally is it should be easy, but he can’t seem to settle, so he turns on a movie, trying to get lost in the colors and sounds. It’s hard. Everything seems to remind him of something else, sending his thoughts down into a spiral of worry.

Eskild comes by a few hours later and makes him some toast, which he eats grudgingly. There’s a bruise blooming on his shoulder too, from where his mother grabbed him, and when Eskild sees it, he gets concerned.

“What is this?” he asks, and Isak shrugs. “It hurts?” Isak nods wordlessly. Eskild sighs, disappearing into the kitchen for a few minutes. He’s seen his fair share of Isak’s injuries over the years, and knows better than anyone how to handle them. Isak’s not sure if Eskild knows where some of them really come from, and some part of him hopes not, but he has a suspicion that Eskild knows a lot more than he lets on.

When he comes back, he’s holding an ice pack, a water bottle, and a few ibuprofen. 

“I just want to make sure it goes away quick,” Eskild clarifies, and Isak takes the pills. He holds the ice pack to his ribs. 

His phone buzzes. A new text. 

_I’ll be getting a burger at 10 tonight and I’m bringing a new album. Maybe we’ll run into each other._ Even.

Isak’s stomach drops. He’s going to let more people down. Eskild looks at him in confusion. 

_hi. Can’t tonight, sorry. friday?_

_im still going tonight, i don’t need your lame ass to eat a burger ;)_

_but yeah we can hang friday. we’ll have tacos. I’ll text you the address._ Even texts again almost instantly. Isak lets out a little, relieved laugh.

_but i am still going tonight. For the record. Hungry college boy needs food. So if something changes...you know where i am._

“Who is it? Eva?” Eskild asks, and Isak nods. “Did you see what they’re _still_ saying about you? It’s pathetic.”

“Better than them saying I’m addicted to crack or something.”

“Are you sure they haven’t printed that yet?” Eskild asks, quirking an eyebrow. 

“You remember when they had that piece about my facial hair?” Isak puts down his phone, thoughts racing about how he can sneak out. He knows rationally that it’ll be nearly impossible, and if he’s caught, the consequences would be insane, but he doesn’t care. All he wants is to see Even again.

“I remember the chest hair one,” Eskild says, smiling.

“When will they run out of crap like that?” Isak wonders out loud, and Eskild laughs.

“After you die. Maybe not even then.”

“Guess I have something to look forward to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! We've started linking to relevant pieces of media within the story, so if you feel like seeing that as you read, go for it! :)
> 
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> 

“Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?” Emma leans forward, smiling, and Isak takes a sip of his coffee. “Because you’re gorgeous.”

“I could say the same about you,” he says because he knows it’s his obligation.

This might be the most bored he’s ever been. Besides the basics - being alive, being royalty, and being in the same place - he has absolutely nothing in common with Emma. 

They’ve already exhausted a ton of topics, not finding much to discuss in depth. She seems fine, just sort of bland. His favorite part of the whole thing is his coffee. He’ll drink anything hot and caffeinated, but it’s always a huge plus if it actually tastes good.

He wonders idly if she knows they’ve been set up. He hopes so. He’d hate to lead her on. He has just about no intention to keep this up outside of the times when he’s forced to, and he can only imagine how terrible she’d feel if she was in this for the right reason.

She’s been talking about how wonderful everything is, and how his hair reminds her of one of her other friends, and how the hotel suite she’s staying in has a separate fridge for miniature bottles of alcohol. Isak is trying to follow, but she hasn’t given him a chance to speak for about two minutes now. He sighs, glancing down at his phone quickly. 

“Am I boring you?” She asks suddenly, interrupting herself. Isak feels a blush creeping onto his cheeks despite everything.

“No! Of course not, I’m expecting a call. Or a text. Or something. I’m sorry,” he says, stumbling over words. Truthfully, he’s hoping he’ll get some sort of urgent text message that will let him out of this ordeal, but he doesn’t say that. He slips the phone back into his pocket, folding his hands on the table.

“Oh. That’s...rude.” She crosses her arms, leaning back in her chair. She presses her lips into a line. 

“We could just kiss if you wanted?” he says matter-of-factly, slipping into the best flirtatious attitude he can muster. She scoffs, but her mouth quirks into a small smile.

“In front of everybody?” She seems incredulous but intrigued.

“Why not? You embarrassed of me?” he asks, leaning forward. She smirks, biting her lip.

“Never.” Their lips lock. Isak finds his mind wandering, but tries to focus on the task at hand. Her hand is on his face, her fingers are warm. When she finally pulls back, smiling, he gives her another small peck, nose brushing against her cheek. She giggles, looking down at her fingernails, the tips of her ears bright red.

“Do I still seem bored?” he asks, and she shakes her head slightly, still grinning. “Good. Let’s go take a walk.” He stands and offers her his hand. She takes it and doesn’t let go, pulling herself closer to his side. Jonas holds the door for them and tries to keep the paparazzi at a decent distant. There are shouts and flashes as soon as they step outside, but Emma just seems to shut them out. She leans into him as they walk, her head resting somewhat on his shoulder. He presses a kiss into her hair, half hoping that someone will get a picture.

“What kind of shampoo do you use?” Isak asks. Emma looks up at him, slightly confused.

“I think it’s something with vanilla?” She seems unsure, but definitely amused. Isak gives her another small kiss, and she laughs.

“It’s nice,” he says.

He’s fairly sure someone’s gotten a picture of their excessive PDA, which was essentially the task he was given. He feels every eye on him, every stare, every camera lens. Emma kisses him on the cheek.

“I have to go. I promised my agent I would be back in time to attend the fashion show,” Emma says as though he’s supposed to know exactly what she means. He nods like he does. 

“This was nice,” he replies. 

“Ok. I’ll see you…” She trails off, waiting for him to interject. 

“I’ll text you,” he says, holding out his hand for her phone. She passes it over and he puts his number in. He isn’t really sure when his parents want him to organize the next one of these things. Their press secretary will probably do it for him. Emma seems happy at least. She kisses him goodbye and walks off with her own guard, giving a little wave as she gets into the car.

When he finally gets back to his room and checks his phone he doesn’t have any new texts. He frowns. It’s not like Even should feel...obligated to talk to him, but it would have been nice to have something after this shitty day. 

He shakes his head, trying to clear his disappointment and his “date” from his head. He really can’t do this. This Emma thing. He takes a deep breath, weighing the consequences of backing out. He might be ruining the lives of over 4 million people. The Thoarans are fully prepared to invade Iralia, and it’s possible he’s the last hope for a Baewyth-Thoaran alliance. Then again, he doesn’t remember the last time he actually made a decision for himself. One is very overdue. There must be another way. He’s always helping other people. Maybe it’s time to help himself. 

He shakily types in a text to his publicist, Linn. He thinks he’d probably like her a lot if her job wasn’t to shape his life per the wishes of his parents.

_Can we talk?_

Her reply is almost instant.

_What’s up? Good work with the[Snap](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157692748392/modern-royalty-au-from-isaks-snap-story) by the way. It looks great. Do that more. You need more of a social media presence._

He rolls his eyes. She’s been telling him that for years. Maybe this time he’ll actually follow through so she gets off his back. He thinks for a minute before shooting a text back.

_I can’t do this. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but i really can’t go out with emma. Can you get my parents on board with that????_

She takes a little longer before texting back. 

_We can meet tomorrow for breakfast and you can explain. I want to help you but honestly this is a tough spot_

Isak sighs. She’s best friends with Eskild, so he knows he has a little more sway over her than anyone else in the “Let’s Control Isak Collective”, but she still works for his parents. 

He looks down at his phone again. No new messages. He considers texting Even anyway. They’re meeting tomorrow night but Isak can’t wait. He needs to see him tonight.

_what are you doing right now?_ he types quickly and gets an almost immediate response. He smiles slightly. Hearing from Even gives him a slight rush, despite the situation. 

_chilling at home. why?_

Isak takes a deep breath and sends another text.

_let’s meet._ He tosses his phone onto the bed, getting up, grabbing some clean looking clothes, heading into the bathroom to shower. He can’t look yet. Whether the answer is no or yes, it’ll be a shitload of anxiety. 

Showering always seems to make him feel a little better, and today is no exception. Something about the way the water carries everything away is mesmerizing.

Isak checks his phone. 3 messages. All from Even.

_thought you’d never ask._  
_when?_  
_where?_

He shoots back a quick reply, heart already pounding. 

_an hour?_ Isak asks back, suddenly unsure.  
_spotted dog? It’s south of campus._

Isak tugs on his hat. He hopes that with his hair tucked in, he’ll look different enough from his pictures in the magazines. It worked well enough last time. He calls Jonas. 

“Hey, man,” Isak starts, fiddling with his sneakers, the phone held between his shoulder and ear.

“Your highness,” Jonas responds, and Isak rolls his eyes even though nobody’s around.

“You know how I’m not supposed to leave?” he asks, and Jonas laughs.

“Yeah. You want my help to break the rules?” Jonas replies, amused.

“Why else am I calling? You have the glasses, right?” Isak had requested some plain lens glasses a few days ago, right after he met Even, and Jonas had gladly bought several pairs. 

“Uh huh. I’ll be up in three. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Isak’s not really sure if his lame excuse for a disguise will work, but it’s better than just going in cold. If even one pap knows it’s him and starts taking pictures, he’ll be fucked.

Still, it’s worth it. He doesn’t have any sort of plan for what he wants to say to Even, or even why he wants to see him so badly, all he knows is that things will feel somehow better if he’s around him. He’s sure they will.

They’re meeting at a small bookstore/coffee shop, but he’s told Jonas to drop him off a few blocks away, so if his bodyguard decides to rat him out later, he won’t really have the right information. He didn’t tell Jonas why he needed the disguise - not exactly, at least. He said something about how he didn’t want to be harassed while out trying to have a good time, which was true, but wasn’t exactly accurate.

He’s nervous. He’s built this up in his mind, but whether or not it meets his expectations he has a feeling he’ll be overwhelmed. He just wants someone who cares who isn’t obligated to. 

He walks down the block, ducking his head slightly as he passes a small crowd of teenagers.

That’s when he sees Even, leaning against the wall outside the shop, earbuds in, hands in his pockets.The blue neon sign that spells “Spotted Dog” in script is catching in Even’s hair, casting soft, glowing shadows on his angular face. Isak’s heart skips slightly, and it nearly stops when Even looks at him, smiling.

“Hey!” he says, taking his earbuds out, standing up straight. He’s still bathed in the blue light. Isak smiles back, heart hammering in his throat.

“Hi,” he says, and Even tilts his head slightly, smirking. He has this quality about him that Isak hasn’t seen in anyone else. It’s like he’s focused wholly, completely, totally, on Isak. It’s like his eyes are burning right through, down to the core.

“Glasses. Haven’t seen those before,” he says.

“Yeah, well...they’re my glasses,” Isak says nervously, unable to think of an explanation. Even laughs softly. They’re standing closer together now, and one of Even’s hands is ghosting over Isak’s. He might be imagining it, but he feels some sort of electricity sparking from Even’s fingertips.

“See, I thought to myself, last night while I was lying in bed, that there was no way you could get any cuter. Then you go and prove me wrong, just like that. Not fair.” Isak feels himself blushing.

“Just like that?” His voice almost breaks.

“Mmhmm. Just like that,” Even almost whispers, and Isak feels himself blush. He adjusts his glasses. Even smiles and turns abruptly, pulling open the door to the cafe, gesturing for Isak to go inside. 

The place is small but mostly empty, the walls lined with used books and chalkboards listing the different types of drinks they serve. The lights are low and warm, and Isak breathes a small sigh of relief. Even leads them to a table toward the back, tucked into a corner.

“So how are you?” Even asks when they’re finally seated. “How’s your week been?” He’s still looking at him with that same mixture of confidence and infatuation.

Isak feels a little stab in his chest, now realizing that Even, the person he’s really wanted to talk to, can’t actually hear the truth. He wants desperately to get everything off his chest, but he can’t.

“Shitty,” he says, surprising himself. Even frowns slightly. “Yours?”

“Average. Do you want to tell me what happened? You don’t have to, but if you do, you can.” Isak considers for a moment.

“It’s sort of boring. Plus, this is supposed to be fun, and I-” Even cuts him off.

“Whoa whoa, this here doesn’t have to be fun. This isn’t an official thing, so, it doesn’t count,” he says, and Isak lets himself laugh.

“No standards?”

“Nope.”

“Family stuff,” he says finally, and Even nods understandingly, not pushing. A waitress comes over to take their order, and Isak orders his usual. “Black eye with extra cream. No sugar.”

“What is that? It sounds violent.” Even says, smirking.

“Coffee with two shots of espresso,” the waitress says, and Isak nods. Even laughs.

“You drink that?” he asks incredulously, and Isak rolls his eyes, nodding.

“It sounds lethal. I’ll have one. And could we get one of those brownies too, from the front case?” The waitress nods, clearly amused. “Thanks so much.”

She walks away, scribbling on her pad, and Isak adjusts his glasses again. There’s a gentle feeling of comfort that’s settled in his stomach, and everything seems calm and quiet and right.

“That was a really bad choice you just made,” he says with a smile, and Even shrugs.

“If you can handle it, I can handle it,” he says lightly.

“Alright. If you think so.” At this point, caffeine has little to no effect on Isak, so he has to order ultra caffeinated crap like black eyes to feel any sort of buzz. Eva made the mistake of getting what he had once, and ever since she’s tried to convince him his coffee habits are unhealthy. They are, but Isak doesn’t care.

“I have to ask, are you related to somebody famous? Your face, it’s weirdly familiar,” Even is squinting at him slightly. Isak’s breath catches in his throat.

“I just have one of those faces, I think,” he says vaguely, fiddling with his glasses again. 

“A pretty one?” Even asks, drawing his fingers absently over Isak’s hand that rests on the table. 

“Stop it,” he says, unable to hold back a smile.

“It just looks familiar.” Even pauses before snapping his fingers. “Ya know what, I know why.” Isak feels his panic building. “It’s because I’ve seen you in my dreams. The dreams of my perfect guy. That’s what it is,” Even finishes, nodding.

“You’re so corny,” he says in a breath, relieved. He tries to still his trembling fingers.

“I’m endearing,” Even says, his hand still resting on Isak’s. 

“Of course you are.” 

Before Even can reply, the waitress comes back with their drinks and the brownie. Isak hopes he’s not the only one who feels the strange tension in the air. He’s not sure whether it’s good or bad, but it’s so thick it almost feels hard to breathe. They’re silent as they start eating, neither one really sure how to carry on the conversation. 

“Why did you want to see me?” Even finally asks, sipping his drink tentatively. He crinkles his nose, but takes another sip.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Isak says, trying to deflect. 

“I don’t know, I mean, we had something scheduled for tomorrow night, so…” Even says, trailing off. “I must be really special,” he teases, finishing.

“Tell me about yourself. I want to hear you talk,” Isak says after a moment of silence, still unwilling to answer the question.

“Well, what do you wanna know?” Even says, tilting his head with a smile. 

“Well…” Isak thinks for a second. “What were you doing before I texted you?” The older boy laughs.

“Uh…” he stalls for a second, as if debating whether to tell the truth. “This is gonna sound really weird. Ok. I was making a potato flowchart,” Even says finally, taking another sip of his drink.

“What?” Isak doesn’t mean to sound so shocked, but he can’t hold back.

“A potato flowchart,” he repeats, and when Isak still gives him the same look of confusion, he clarifies. “I had some potatoes I wanted to cook and realized how helpful it would be to have a chart of all the different ways I could cook them. I…” Even hesitates for a second. “I have it with me if you’d like to help?” He asks slowly. Isak finds himself nodding before he even knows what he’s really agreeing to. “Chill,” Even says, laughing quietly. He pulls out a sheet of paper. “This is just the draft. I’m going to make it nicer. Maybe make an instructional film,” he says unfolding the crumpled sheet of paper. 

Isak stares. It’s completely covered in cramped writing, lines connecting various sections. Whole blocks are crossed out, others are highlighted. 

“I’m working through the main categories at the moment. You can help me with the fried type,” Even says, pushing the paper across the table.

“This is insane,” Isak says, gawking at the sheer amount of information.

“It’s fun. It’s analytical. You’re jealous you didn’t think of it first.” Isak is still reading through the first column.

“You have a separate category for raw potatoes?” He asks, amused. He doesn’t care so much about the logistics of the chart, but he wants to hear Even’s voice. 

“Yeah, of course,” he says, as though any other option would have been inconceivable. 

“It says, ‘weapon.’”

“Potato gun. Whittle a potato knife. Feed the potato to someone who’s allergic. Choke someone with a small potato. The possibilities are infinite.”

“What about like...a potato skin,” Isak asks, squinting at the sheet. “Where’s that?” Even grabs the sheet and skims it quickly.

“Oh fuck you’re right. Shit. That’s a problem,” he says, furrowing his eyebrows.

“You can’t just fix it?” Isak asks, smiling at the other boy’s reaction.

“No, it’s a disaster,” Even says, shaking his head. “We can continue working on this when I’m less of a disappointment to the potato community.” He folds the paper, sticking it back into a small black notebook. Isak wonders what else he keeps in there. “Let’s go,” he says, leaning forward, a smile playing on his lips.

“Where?”

“Water fire. You ever been?” No, Isak hadn’t, but he’d always wanted to. It was when there were little fires lit in baskets on the river. Artists rode in between them, lighting and feeding and fanning the flames, and people stood on the banks and watched the lights flicker. He’d seen pictures, sometimes he could see it from his window, but he’d never actually been up close. 

“No. You...want to take me?” Even laughs, as if it should be obvious.

“Who else?” The way Even looks at him, like what they’re sharing is special and new and secret - it still makes Isak melt. “I have a soundtrack too.”

\--

They walk close together, each wearing one earbud, the music turned up loud. There’s guitar and soft piano, and Isak turns his head to look up at the taller boy.

“Different. Really different,” Isak says, and Even grins.

“What can I say? I’m a man of many tastes.” He shrugs slightly, and Isak is all too aware of the hand hovering so close to his. 

“Who is it?”

“Sufjan Stevens. It’s good, it’s like...I don’t know, it’s just good. You’ll like it.”

They don’t speak for a while, just exchanging soft glances and smiles, letting the music play. It’s pretty, but it’s very sad.

“Can you smell it?” Even finally asks, and Isak frowns.

“Smell what?”

“The smoke.” Isak takes a deep breath and smiles.

“Yeah.” He looks out over the river, the dots of light reflecting on the gray-blue water. Even laces his fingers in Isak’s.

\---

They walk close together. It seems like months ago that Isak was forced to walk this closely with Emma. He’s reminded of why he was so upset in the first place. Isak’s stomach twists and he’s pulled out of the moment. Why is he making Even deal with him? He likes Even. He shouldn’t be obligated to hang out with Isak. 

They slow as they approach a park bench on the edge of the path. Even sits first and holds out a hand, pulling Isak down next to him when he takes it. Isak laughs, but cuts himself off after a moment. 

“Hey. Are you ok?” Even asks, resting a hand on Isak’s arm. He nods absently. He’s not really sure if he’s entirely willing to let Even into his life. It would be nice to have another person to talk to. An uninvolved party that would be on his side. But then again, when has there been a time he hasn't fucked up something great like this?

“I’m having some trouble with my parents,” Isak admits after a beat, turning his head to glance at Even’s reaction. Even raises his eyebrows and looks at Isak out of the corner of his eye, clearly giving him time to continue. “I...They,” he starts again. “They very much want me to date girls.”

“And you don’t like girls?” Even asks. Isak can’t help but think that they’re might be something in Even’s voice. Interest, maybe?

“I mean. Girls are fine. They’re great. I’m just...like...gay, you know?” It's the first time he's said it out loud.

“Not really,” Even says and Isak’s heart sinks for a second. “I’m bi,” Even finishes with a teasing smile. “So you’re out?” He asks, his expression growing more serious.

“My parents...They’re very...conservative. They probably loved me at one point, but I’m not counting on that outweighing their beliefs,” Isak explains, looking down at his hands.

“Ah,” Even says.

“And the legislation protecting the community is so weak, compared to other human rights bills…” Isak trails off.

“Yeah. I know what you mean. It’s just another way that the rich screw us isn’t it?” Even says. Isak nods, but Even can see he doesn’t really understand. “I mean... I’m from [Waeluryn](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157708213282/au-modern-royalty-population-3000-major),” Isak glances over at Even, surprised. Waeluryn is easily one of the poorest places in Baewyth. It’s a small fishing village and not much else. “I know, right. How did I get here?” He asks, almost to the park. “I worked and I fought and I kissed people’s asses. I’m working all the time now to make sure my family can survive without me. I’m busting my ass to become something in a world that doesn’t care about me, so that there’s even a tiny chance my sisters won’t have to work as hard.”

“You’re amazing,” Isak says, shaking his head in awe. “You’re such a good brother.” Even smiles.

“It’s just shitty that people can have so much and do so little,” Even says staring off into space. Isak’s stomach twists. “Like, the royal family. They’re swimming in cash while I’m clawing my way through a couple of jobs just to buy the overpriced film textbook I need. And the worst part is your nickname buddy. The Prince. I’m sure he’s fine or whatever but...he does nothing and he gets everything. He fucks around and is rewarded for being a cheating little playboy. He probably hates people like you and me,” Even says, motioning between them. “I just… I fucking hate that. I try to avoid all that shit. You know, magazines and everything? It just makes me angry.”

“Oh,” Isak says after a moment. That friendship didn’t last. Isak can understand where Even is coming from, especially about the magazines, but hearing someone say it to his face hurts. His thoughts feel foggy. He starts trying to think of excuses he can use to get out of this. His phone goes off. It’s Jonas. Isak sighs, answering the call.

“Sorry,” he mutters at Even. Even nods. 

“It’s fine,” he replies.

“Halla?” 

“Hi, asshole. We have a problem. You need to get home,” Jonas says quickly.

“On my way,” Isak says, starting to pack up his stuff. Even tilts his head, looking almost panicked.

“You leaving?” He asks.

“Yeah. Sorry. My…” he pauses for a second. “Brother,” he decides, “says my parents are looking for me.”

“Ok. I’ll talk to you later?” Even asks, sounding almost anxious. Isak finds himself nodding. 

“Maybe.”

“You’re cute,” Even says. Isak blushes and shakes his head. He won't be talking to Even. Definitely not. This was a very bad idea. Even hates him, or will hate him. That's what he'd said.

“See you,” he says. He walks back towards the shop, where Jonas dropped him off, pulling his hood up as he goes. Jonas is leaning against the wall of the last building on the block, in his typical all black ensemble.

“You look creepy. Like a drug dealer,” Isak says as he approaches. Jonas looks up from his phone. 

“Did Eva send you this?” Jonas asks turning his phone around. “Vultures I tell you,” He says shaking his head. [It’s a picture of a magazine cover. Eighteen.](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157708372867/modern-royalty-au) The same one that had reported on his and Eva’s “steamy romance” earlier in the week. “They’re already saying that you’re with Emma.”

“Yeah,” Isak says. He doesn't feel like being reminded of his horrible day right now. 

“It comes out tomorrow,” Jonas says, looking at the picture again. “Someone leaked it to her so she could be ‘prepared’ to learn of her cheating boyfriend. I think it’s hilarious,” Jonas says. He looks up, seeing the expression on Isak’s face, and amends. “Awful. Terrible.”

“I guess.”

“Shit,” Jonas says, seeing the time. “We really do have to get going. Where were you?” He asks, curious. 

“I got some coffee and went to water fire. It was nice,” he says shortly, and they start to walk toward the SUV.

“Did you...go with anyone?” Jonas prompts.

“Friend. Or, not a friend, I guess,” he says. He hesitates for a moment before adding, “They went on a bit of a tirade about the monarchy and I feel horrible. I would rather be at home than with them.” 

Jonas sighs, pursing his lips before nodding. That’s never good. 

“Ok. Let’s go. You have a busy day tomorrow, bro.”

\---

Time seemed to blur. Isak somehow managed to avoid interacting with anyone besides Jonas and made it to his room unaccosted. He collapses into his bed, exhausted. His phone buzzes. Even. 

_How’s the family?_ He can’t deal with this.

His finger hovers over Even’s face in his contacts. Just a couple of hours ago Even had posed for a picture, pulling an effortlessly winning smile. Isak can’t believe he fell for that. He should have known better than to have gotten attached. He should have known better. He shouldn’t have hoped for anything more than the usual. He won’t make that mistake again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone reading: What happened to more frequent updates?  
> Chloe: Look over there *points wildly* a massively long chapter.
> 
> Sorry guys... our spring break starts at the end of next week so you can expect lots of updates starting about 3/13 ish. 
> 
> We hope you like the angst train. :)
> 
> Also we made a [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK) for this fic.  
> (Don't judge me for just listening to the Newsies soundtrack on repeat for the last week.)

Isak doesn’t know what time it is. He doesn’t care anymore. He could’ve been in bed for only a few hours or a few days and he wouldn’t know the difference. His phone has been going off for the past several minutes but he can’t bring himself to reach over and turn it off. He’s not exactly sure why, but his head is absolutely pounding. He can hardly think straight. 

Jonas told him that today would be busy, but maybe if he doesn’t show up, no one will notice he’s not there, and he can hide forever. He rolls over and closes his eyes again, trying to take his mind off of the Even situation. 

A few moments pass. His phone is still going off. He feels around for it and squints when he turns it on. It’s too bright, and it’s aggravating his headache. He has a few texts, some from Even, but most are from Linn. He ignores the ones he knows are from Even and opens the first of Linn’s.

_where are you?_  
_we’re still meeting, right?_ Isak groans. He forgot about that.  
_If you don’t show up i can’t help you._  
_i’m calling Eskild._  
_i’ll be there at 12. Don’t fucking leave. I will not track you down._ Isak checks the time. It’s only 10:15. He has another...two hours before Linn is going to break his door. 

He could ignore the texts from Even, but he opens them anyway. He’s gotten so used to being in constant contact for the only-a-week-or-so they’ve been friends that he can’t imagine not hearing from him. 

_tonight was fun! We should do that again!_  
_I just saw a cat that reminded me of you. No glasses tho._  
_i don’t know where to begin….i lost my strength completely, oh be near me. is it real or a fable? I can hear you, i long to be near you._ It takes him a minute to decipher the last message. They’re lyrics, he realizes, from the first song of the album they listened to last night.

Isak sighs and puts down his phone. He doesn’t know why he didn’t block Even’s number. He’s just reminding himself why he shouldn’t have fallen so hard so fast. 

There’s a knock on his door. He pulls the comforter over his head and tries to be as still as possible. Isak can hear the low murmuring of a few people right outside, and the soft shuffling of their feet as they move around. He squeezes his eyes shut as he hears the click of his door opening and the soft rush of air.

“Isak?” It’s Eskild. Isak doesn’t reply. He feels the mattress sink. “What’s going on?”

Isak doesn’t reply, and Eskild rests a hand on his back through the blankets.

“If you’re feeling anything above a 2 out of 10 I’m gonna have to get you up. Normally I’d say a five, but today is a tough day to skip, kiddo.”

Normally Isak wouldn’t want to admit to Eskild he’s feeling anything other than fine, but in this case, if he doesn’t, he’ll be forced to follow through on all the crap that’s scheduled for the day. So, really, he’s fucked either way. 

“If you stay in bed, no laptop, no phone. If you feel that shitty you should just sleep.” Isak wasn’t planning on doing another other than sleeping, but he’s not going to tell Eskild that.

“Go away,” he mumbles, and Eskild sighs.

“So he’s alive. That’s good. What’s going on?”

“I...have a headache.” He still doesn’t want to tell Eskild about Even.

“So we’ll get you some Tylenol and water.”

“No, it’s...really bad.” 

“Isak -” Eskild sounds fed up, losing his patience.

“Please, I just can’t today. I can’t.” He’s practically begging. He feels his throat start to close, like he might cry. 

“How bad is it? Pain wise, 1 through 10.”

“7.” 

“That’s pretty high.”

“I know. It hurts.” 

“I’ll give you an hour and some Tylenol, then you’re getting up, alright?”

“Whatever.” He downs the pill Eskild hands him and goes back to shifting in and out of sleep.

He’s vaguely aware that Eskild brought him food, but it’s sat untouched on his table. He should eat, he knows he should, but he just doesn’t have the motivation.

When Eskild comes back, Isak doesn’t bother fighting. It’s too much work. Eskild lays out the clothes he’s supposed to wear for the few meetings he’ll be in this morning and mentions something about how he’ll have to change before he meets up with Emma later. 

He has lunch with his parents, but fortunately, they act like he’s not there at all, talking only to each other. He doesn’t eat very much, but sips at the coffee Magnus brought him. He knows from the first sip that it’s decaf - likely Eskild pulling strings - but he doesn’t care. He can’t bring himself to care about anything.

His phone buzzes in his pocket.

_are we still down for tacos tonight?_

It makes Isak feel a little guilty, but he doesn’t reply. What would he even say? 

Thinking about the way they sat and watched the lights flicker makes his chest tighten. He misses the comfort. The feeling that he was safe and loved and at home for once in his life.

The medicine’s helped his head marginally, but there was still a dull throbbing behind his eyes.

He sits through a meeting about new security protocols and flees back to his room as soon as it’s over. Isak’s hoping to get some sleep but knows that that is out of the question when he runs into Linn loitering outside of his door. She pushes off the wall to face him. 

“Where were you?” Linn asks, and Isak frowns slightly. His head is still killing him and this is just another reminder of why everything in his life sucks at the moment. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says. She glares at him slightly and he purses his lips. “Fine. I’m sick,” he offers. She still doesn’t look satisfied by his response, but lets it go.

“Ok,” Linn says. “We have a few things to discuss.” She pauses looking around. “Maybe not in the hallway, though?” She suggests. He nods and opens the door to his room, letting her walk in ahead of him. 

They sit on the seldom used couch that makes up the “living room” of Isak’s suite. He shifts uncomfortably, and she crosses her hands in her lap.

“So what’s the issue?” Linn asks, voice devoid of any type of sympathy.

“I just don’t want to date her,” he offers, realizing simultaneously that it’s a terrible reason for Linn to change anything. He doesn’t really want to do anything, so the fact that he doesn’t want to do this either seems like a given.

“Isak.” She takes a deep breath, pressing her lips together. “We all have to do things we don’t want to do, sometimes. You more than anybody should understand that.”

“I know you can't really do anything but can't you just try?” He feels like crying out of frustration. 

“What exactly am I trying to do? Convince your parents to change their mind? Or just cancel everything all together?” She’s not being malicious, she sounds more sorry for him than anything. “You need to have a better reason to not give it go. So much depends on you trying this out. You have to understand that.” 

Isak knows she's right but he hates that she is.

“It’s just really really tough. If it was doable I’d do it. I’d hate hurting her. If it falls through because I can't find anything to talk to her about…what do I do?”

“You can’t let that happen. It’s really important for this to go well. I don’t need to remind you what’s at stake.”

“Linn-” She cuts him off.

“Listen, it’s not going to happen. Whatever you say, it’s not changing anything. You have a date on Tuesday night, so that gives you...today is Friday, so 4 days. I’m sorry, I really am, believe me, but there’s no way out.” 

Isak sighs. 

“I guess...I’ll just have to.”

“I’m sorry Isak. I...there’s nothing I can do. Just keep up the social media.” She turns and leaves. He walks over to the bed and flops on his stomach aggressively pulling the covers over his head. He feels shitty. He’s going to skip whatever else he needed to do today. This week will suck. 

\---

_so no tacos?_ Even’s sent yet another message, but Isak doesn't reply.  
_maybe another time?_  
_look at my lonely tacos :(_ He’s attached [a picture](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158002836082/modern-royalty-au) .  
_I made them look pretty :)_  
_look at this[actual photo of me eating my tacos](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158002904457/modern-royalty-au). ART._

A few hours pass, and Isak doesn’t respond. Even texts again.  
_i found more cool music._  
_if you’re up to it… ;)_

Isak turns his phone off and drops it on the floor by his bed. He doesn’t want to deal with it anymore, it just makes him sad.  
\---

“Isak. I brought you food.” It’s Eskild. Isak shifts in bed, trying to bury his head further in the pillow. His headache is still bad, even after a full day, and he knows it’s probably because he’s dehydrated, but he just doesn’t have the motivation to get up.

\---

“You should really eat something.” Eskild again. How long has it been? Isak doesn’t know. He should probably get up - at least to shower and use the bathroom - but he just...can’t bring himself to. He needs a few more minutes to lie here. Then he’ll get up. Just a few more minutes.

\---

Sometime in the middle of the night, he gets up and drinks a lukewarm bottle of water, and forces down a few saltines. 

\---

“Here’s your phone. I charged it for you. Text me if you need anything. I’ll be in my apartment.” Once again, it’s Eskild. Isak won’t be texting, but he lets Eskild believe he’s helping in some small way. He hears him take the plate of food away, replacing it with a new one.

\---

_Are you ok?_  
_Do you want me to stop texting?_  
_Bumped into somebody...they were a lot less nice about it than you were. :)_  
_What’s the deal with your glasses Isak??_ Even’s sent him [a meme](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158002732512).  
_in class some girl is talking about waterfire and i’m rememberin…. B) good times_  
_my professor lights the fires??? They pay him apparently._  
_my professor just said ‘jazz cabbage’_  
[me rn](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158004164472).  
_im pretty sure he’s done a lot of acid_  
_this class is so confising. It’s supposed to be ‘creating lighting concepts for film’_  
_all he’s talked about today is how he found a soup ladle he thought he’d lost._  
_help._  
\---  
“Hei,” Isak says walking up to where Emma is sitting. “I’m looking for the most beautiful girl in the world,” he says, and Emma giggles. “But you’ll have to do,” he jokes. Emma gasps and whacks him lightly with the menu she had been reading when he approached her. He plops down in his seat and rests his head against his hand. He feels weak from four days of sleeping and not eating. He only left his room today because he was afraid of what might happen if he didn’t go along with everything.

“What’s wrong?” Emma asks. Isak groans slightly.

“I just have a headache,” he says, picking his head up to look Emma in the eyes. She frowns, looking slightly concerned.

“Aw. Can I kiss it better?” She says, pouting slightly.

“If you try really hard,” he replies smoothly. This is one of the last places he wants to be, but here he is. 

“It looks like they have good stuff,” she says, closing her menu.

“What kind of stuff?”

“Burgers, fries, things like that mostly. I’ll probably get a salad, though.”

“I can’t even imagine being that boring,” Isak teases, and she laughs, rolling her eyes.

“You don’t think I’m exciting?”

“Nope. Terribly dull. I can barely sit here and be in the same room,” Isak says. She laughs, and he’s glad. He doesn’t want to be mean but really, he’s almost telling the truth. He has very little in common with her, and in his current mood, it’s hardly bearable. 

A waitress walks over to their table and they both look up. The woman greets them and Emma just stares back. After a second of waiting for Emma to say something acknowledging the waitress’ presence, Isak jumps in.

“Hi,” he says as brightly as he can, trying to make up for Emma’s clear snub. “How are you?” The waitress smiles, surprised. Before she can answer, Emma cuts in. 

“I’d like the garden salad with the light vinaigrette and my boyfriend will have the bacon burger with extra fries. We will have a chocolate milkshake. _To share_.” She emphasizes the last words. Isak just nods and smiles slightly in apology to the waitress, but she doesn’t meet his eyes before hurrying away to put their orders in. Emma reaches over and grips his hand possessively. “You need to stop flirting with everyone we see, babe.” Isak doesn't really know she’s talking about.

“I was just being polite,” he explains carefully, trying not to upset Emma any more than she already appears. “She looked nervous. I don’t want to be scary.” Emma rolls her eyes slightly, smiling.

“That’s adorable. I love how you can make people feel like you really see them.” Isak sighs. She doesn’t get it. It’s ok. He didn’t have any expectation that she would. She enjoys running in the circles of the teenage elite. Every outing to a café and every new dress is an impromptu photo shoot. He nods his head slightly.

“Sure,” he says flatly. She starts chatting about the fashion shows she’s been to and all of the different things she’s done in the past week. Isak has nothing to add. All he’s done for the past week is sleep and try not to die. She wouldn’t find that ‘adorable.’ 

Their food arrives and Isak looks down at their awkwardly joined hands instead of at the waitress. He feels guilty, but he’s too tired to do more than to mutter a thank you when she sets the food down in front of him. He’ll give her a good tip to make up for this disaster. 

“I’m going to use the restroom,” Isak says, standing. Emma nods, beginning to pick at her own salad. He walks quickly and shuts the door tightly behind him. His head is still pounding (although by this point it’s probably more from dehydration and hunger than anything else), and he feels the slight blur of a panic attack beginning to creep into the corners of his vision. He tries to take a few deep breaths and splashes some water on his face. He almost laughs out loud when it seems to work. He’s hardly ever this...lucky. 

He waits a few moments to make sure that the feeling is going to stick and then opens the door. Game face. When he reaches the table, Emma’s salad is at his place and she’s begun to dig into his dish. 

“Hey!” He says laughing slightly and pulling out his phone as he approaches. “I told you to order a burger like you wanted to.” He quickly [takes a snap](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157999669127/modern-royalty-au-from-isaks-snapchat) and captions it something appropriately date worthy. Emma sets down the burger and glares at him slightly, but she’s still smiling. 

“Did you just Snapchat that?” She asks. Isak nods and Emma laughs slightly. “Ok. You owe me. Stand still.” Isak freezes and plasters a smile on his face. She takes [ the picture](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157999743217/modern-royalty-au-from-emmas-snap-story). “Ok. You can unfreeze now.” Isak shakes out his arms and rolls his neck, wincing as it pops. “Just so you know, I’m taking this,” Emma says, half joking, holding up the burger again. Isak nods in agreement. He really wasn’t feeling like eating something so heavy and might have just had some coffee if she had let him make his own choice. He slides into his seat and pulls the salad closer to him. “Are you sure?” Emma asks, surprised, as Isak begins to spear mixed greens on his fork. 

“Yeah. As long as you’re happy,” he says, lifting his fork in almost a toast before taking a bite. 

They eat in near silence, every so often making small jokes or comments. When they’re finished, Emma lets Isak pay (and tip) and they walk out of the restaurant together, hand in hand. 

“I’ll...I’ll see you next week?” Emma asks, suddenly more hesitant than she had been a few moments previously. 

“Yeah,” Isak nods. If Linn sets it up, he thinks.

“Ok,” Emma smiles at him and moves in to hug him tightly. His muscles are stiff and sore, and the pressure makes him uncomfortable, but Isak pats her back. He hopes that that’s enough to keep her happy. She kisses him as she moves away and Isak smiles what he hopes is a genuine-looking smile. She climbs into the dark car that had pulled up next to them. Isak lets out a breath and feels his shoulders relax slightly. He’s done his duty to his country for another week.  
\---

_I saw[this meme](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158004643942) and i felt the inexplicable urge to show you _  
\---__

__“Yo, yo, yo!” Magnus says walking into the small room off of the castle kitchens. Isak has been sitting in the corner on the floor for the last hour. Jonas had come into his room and physically pushed him into the shower about two hours ago. “I have the party!” Magnus calls loudly._ _

__“Magnus-” Isak starts but is cut off by Jonas._ _

__“Duuudddeee! You got my message!” Jonas calls loudly. Isak grimaces. Jonas had befriended Magnus which had led to them befriending Mahdi which had led to them always trying to include him when he only wanted to sleep._ _

__“I know! He hasn’t left his room in days,” Magnus says. Isak groans. It was true, but he hates when people point out his dysfunctional habits._ _

__“Why are you doing this?” Isak asks. He can feel himself pouting slightly. He hates to prove the spoiled prince rumors true, but he’s really not up for partying even if it’s just with some of his castle friends. He could argue with Jonas, but he’s too afraid he’ll ruin one of his only friendships._ _

__“I’m here for your money,” Mahdi says, deadpan. Isak nods._ _

__“That’s fair. I can pay you to leave me alone?”_ _

__“Tempting,” Mahdi says. Jonas whacks him in the back of his head. “Gaaahhh,” he says turning around and punching Jonas in the shoulder. “Kidding. Fuck. I’m here because I’m a supportive friend asshole.”_ _

__“So you’ve got the weed?” Jonas asks, and Magnus nods. Isak sighs._ _

__“I don’t wanna smoke,” he says, and Jonas claps him on the shoulder._ _

__“It’s ok, man, just chill with us.”_ _

__So Isak just keeps quiet, watching his friends - are they his friends? - get high._ _

__\---_ _

__“Hey, honey!” Eva calls to Isak as he walks up to the restaurant. Jonas is following him closely and Isak can see him shake his head at Eva through a reflection in the adjacent shop window. Clearly, Linn had been instructing him to make sure the romance rumors between them get squashed, but Isak takes a small pleasure in feeding them._ _

__“Hey,” he says, monotone. He doesn’t know why he let Eva talk him into leaving the house. Yesterday with the boys was bad enough. How could leaving the house be better? He’ll go anywhere for Eva though._ _

__“Grumpy prince,” Eva says, wrinkling her nose, teasing, and he sighs._ _

__“I’m not really in the mood for that.”_ _

__“You sick?”_ _

__“No.” Isak doesn’t elaborate, just wanting Eva to change the subject._ _

__“You need to be nice. This is important to me,” she says as she practically drags Isak over to the door of the shop. Through the window he can see a blonde girl standing, looking up at the menu on the wall. “That’s Vilde,” Eva points out as she opens the door, leading him inside._ _

__“Hi,” Isak says, trying to be enthusiastic. Vilde turns and a smile stretches across her face. Her hair is so blonde it’s almost white, and she’s wearing a small pink bow._ _

__“Hi! Eva has told me so much about you,” she says, opening her arms for a hug. Isak hesitates for a second and her smile wavers. He doesn’t want to make her upset, so he steps forward and embraces her carefully. She gives him a soft squeeze and pulls back, beaming. “You’re taller than I thought you’d be.”_ _

__“Thanks,” Isak says, even though he’s not really sure what to say. She looks oddly familiar, and he’s sure he’s seen her somewhere before._ _

__“Vilde does Youtube. Vlogs and stuff,” Eva says, and Vilde blushes slightly._ _

__“I’m just...Vilde,” She says before shaking her head. “Fuck, that was a cliche.” Her eyes grow wide, and she covers her mouth. “I just swore in front of royalty.”_ _

__“And I’m just Isak,” he jokes. “Don’t even think of me like that. You can ask Eva, I’m probably worse than most people.”_ _

__“You’re not worse!” Eva exclaims, resting a hand lightly on his shoulder._ _

__“Are we going to order?” he asks abruptly, and she nods._ _

__“Keep your pants on, boob,” Eva responds and Vilde snorts._ _

__“I would like…” Vilde pauses. “Ummm…do you have frozen yogurt?” The guy behind the counter nods and Vilde visibly relaxes. “Ok. Strawberry?” Isak steps up to the counter._ _

__“Vanilla, please,” he says. Eva shoves his shoulder._ _

__“Nerd,” she says stepping forward. “Carmel, thanks. Actually, make that two,” she says seeing Jonas motioning for her to order him one as well. “And…” she turns and looks at Isak. “When was the last time you had real food?” She asks. He shrugs. “And four quesadillas and an order of chips and salsa. Oh! And a coffee!” They pay and walk over to one of the tables out in the front of the restaurant._ _

__“That wasn’t necessary,” Isak says looking over at Eva. He sits down and Eva and Vilde sit across from him. Jonas pulls over the fourth chair from where it had migrated to another table and plops down next to Isak._ _

__“It really was. You haven’t been taking care of yourself,” Jonas says. Isak rolls his eyes even though he knows it’s true._ _

__“I’m fine. Everything is great,” Isak says. Eva kicks him under the table and he lets out a soft hiss of pain. “Fuck. Eva. Shitty.” He makes eye contact with Vilde. “Really, the swearing is not a problem,” he tries to joke._ _

__“Can we not change the subject, please,” Eva says. She pauses as their food is set down. “This is…an intervention,” she finishes dramatically._ _

__“No, it isn’t. I’m fine. I feel fine, I’m doing fine.” God, conversations like this make him so uncomfortable. Vilde looks slightly nervous, and Isak feels a little pang of guilt. Eva knows him, but Vilde...deserves to have a good time._ _

__“You’re practically my brother. I can’t see you like this anymore. You have to tell me what is going on in your life,” Eva says forcefully. Isak winces slightly. She doesn’t need to deal with everything as well._ _

__“Let’s just have a good time. I’ll tell you later. Here,” he says taking out his phone. “Let me get a picture of you. To commemorate how I am eating this quesadilla and appreciating how much you care about me.” She raises her eyebrows at him, but goes along with it and[smiles for the picture](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157999525087/modern-royalty-au-from-isaks-snapchat). “Look. Here I am. Yum! So good,” he says, exaggerating his chewing. _ _

__“You’re such a dork,” Eva says._ _

__They finish eating and start on the ice cream. It’s probably too cold to sit outside and eat ice cream, but they make it work, joking and becoming more relaxed as they leave the intervention talk further and further behind them. After the fifth or sixth time Eva makes fun of Isak for talking with his ice cream spoon hanging out of his mouth, she pulls out her phone._ _

__“Ok, loser. Get ready for the snap.” Isak glances at Eva from the corner of his eye. She takes the picture. “Oh my god. What are you doing?[Look at this](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/157999569382/modern-royalty-au-from-evas-snap-story). Nerd.” Isak looks at the picture and laughs softly. _ _

__“Funny,” he says. This is the most at ease he’s felt in a while, despite all of the unpleasantness from the beginning of the meal. Maybe...things will be ok._ _

__\---_ _

___hey babes_ It’s Eva. She usually doesn’t text him so soon after they meet up. There’s a little bubble indicating that she’s writing another text. _ _

_You really need to watch this._ She’s attached a link to a youtube video. He clicks on it, despite his complete lack of interest. The [thumbnail](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158008484327/modern-royalty-au) is a young woman, probably only a little older than him, wearing a beautiful bright red hijab. 

_“Hallo, it’s Sana, and this is, of course, My Way or Highway,” She gives a little wave, smirking. “Today, we’re talking about the prince. I know what you’re thinking, and trust me, I never thought I’d talk about a man on this channel, but here we are. A lot of people think he’s some kind of player, or he’s some kind of brat, but personally, I see someone else.” Isak frowns but doesn’t stop the video. “Far as I can tell, his life is a commodity, and nobody cares enough to stop it. I say, boycott it. Don’t buy any of it. Don’t support a system that treats a boy like a product to be sold.” Isak pauses the video._

_wow a defender. crazy._ he texts Eva. 

_she’s totally right!_ Isak smiles slightly at Eva’s text. 

_maybe._ he replies. He’s a public figure so he has no real expectation of privacy. It’s how it’s always been for him. He can remember trying to hide his face from the bright flashes in his mother’s skirt when he was as young as four or five. The paparazzi have simply always been there. There’s no changing that no matter how much he might want some peace. 

_don’t disappear on us again, ok. People care._ He sighs. He’s going to try, but deep down, he knows he’s going to let her down.  
\--- 

_____so you know that professor?_  
_he just taught us something for once_  
_i take back what i said this mad is a genius i didn’t think you could don that with a flashlight but he just did._  
_your fav could never_

__\---_ _

__“There he is. Late as usual. What was it this time? Some ridiculous illness you’ve managed to convince Eskild of? Or is just laziness?” the Queen says as he shuffles into the room._ _

__“What’s this about not going out with Emma again? I thought we were done with that nonsense,” his father says sternly._ _

__“Well he didn’t do a very good job early this week,” he mother interjects. “He looked miserable. At this rate, you’ll start breakup rumors before we’ve even confirmed your relationship to the press. Not to mention that stunt with Eva and her friend. You’re shaming us all.”_ _

__“We know what’s best for you. Stop trying to back out,” the King says. “What are you going to do?”_ _

__“I will go out with Princess Emma. I will enjoy it. You know what’s best for me,” he says monotonously. He’s looking down at his feet and doesn’t register the slap until he’s stumbling backward. Isak lifts a hand to his face. It feels hot to the touch._ _

__“We don’t need any of that lip today. Listen,” she hisses and grabs him by the chin roughly. “This is non-negotiable.”_ _

__“Yes,” he whispers, and she moves her hand to grip his throat. He has a moment of panic when he realizes he can’t breathe._ _

__“Next time you think you have something to say,” her fingers tighten, and he almost believes she’s never going to let go. His vision is starting to blur, and she finally releases. “Think twice.”_ _

__He gasps, trying to catch his breath. The King says something under his breath, pulling her backward. Isak coughs and feels tears well in his eyes._ _

__“Go,” Terje says, and Isak doesn’t need to be told twice._ _

__\--_ _

__“Eskild!” Isak calls scooting into Eskild’s apartment and quickly closing the door behind him. “I need to…” he turns and sees a girl staring back at him. “Hey,” Isak says to the blonde girl. “What’s...?” He’s suddenly very confused. Eskild walks into the entryway._ _

__“Noora,” Eskild says in what must be warning because the girl, Noora, turns and sets down the large knife she’d been holding._ _

__“I’m confused,” Isak starts. “Is this a bad time?” He asks. Eskild looks at him for a moment before making a face of disgust._ _

__“No. Still gay. This is Noora. Sweet beautiful Noora. I like her better than you.”_ _

__Isak knows that Eskild is trying to make a joke, but it stings because he knows it’s probably the truth. Isak is rarely anyone’s favorite person._ _

__“I can…” Isak starts. He really can’t go, but he’d do it if Eskild asked. “Can I stay?”_ _

__“Why?” Noora asks sharply, crossing her arms. Her face is sharp, really beautiful, but intimidating. Isak flinches._ _

__“Noora,” Eskild says as if chastising her. “You can stay, Isak. It’s ok.”_ _

__“Why should he get to stay? This is your time off. You have to deal with him all the time. You aren’t working right now,” Noora argues. Isak feels his stomach twist into a knot. He knows it’s true._ _

__“I’m just going to go,” he says softly and blinks back tears._ _

__“Wait,” Eskild says, and he pauses. “Are those bruises?” Immediately, Isak’s hand flies to his throat, trying to hide what Eskild already knows is there._ _

__“It’s nothing. It’s fine.”_ _

__“No, come over here. This is a bruise,” Eskild says, making Isak tilt his head so he can see his neck more clearly. “Is this why you’re here?” He nods, and Eskild sighs._ _

__“There has to be something we can do about this. It's getting bad again. I can't see you hurt like you were before they brought in Sara.”_ _

__Last year, Isak’s parents had set him up with a model, Sara, after Isak had been photographed looking beat up and drunk. The tabloids ran with stories about Isak making moves on other people's girls and getting involved in gang activity. Isak’s parents couldn't disprove those rumors - they would have only been implicating themselves in Isak's injuries._ _

__“There's nothing you-” Isak breaks off, running a hand across his face in frustration. “Or anybody. Can do.”_ _

__“About what?” Noora asks, curious. Isak sighs._ _

__“Just tell her,” he says walking over to his favorite spot on Eskild’s couch and pulling a blanket around his shoulders. Eskild is rummaging in the freezer for an ice pack._ _

__“Ummm,” Eskild starts. “So you know Isak's parents?” Isak can almost hear Noora’s eyes roll._ _

__“They just happen to be the king and queen,” she says and Isak finds himself smiling at her sarcasm._ _

__“Yes. Well. They also happen to be - uh, warning, Isak. A little bit of treason here.”_ _

__“It's fine. Drag them,” Isak replies. He imagines Noora must be confused._ _

__“They're abusive pieces of shit.”_ _

__“Oh,” Noora says._ _

__“And that is why if Isak needs to hide here for a while we let him,” Eskild finishes. Noora smiles. “And we do his nails,” he adds, and Isak groans._ _

__“You know what? Fuck it. I want Noora to do them because you spilled nail polish on my shoes when you tried to do this before,” he says, and Noora laughs, moving closer to Isak on the couch._ _

__“You kicked the bottle out of my hand!” Eskild protests, and hands him a bag of frozen vegetables. “Neck.”_ _

__They settle down after a few moments. Noora holds out a few colors and Isak picks the shiniest one. If it’s happening, he’s going to go for the one that will make Eskild the happiest. Eskild insists on doing one of his hands._ _

__“Do you know why today was such a rough day?” Eskild asks. Isak begins to shake his head before thinking better of it. It might be nice to trust the person who has been his confidant for years with some of the situation._ _

__“I guess so. I met somebody.” Isak says tentatively. “I...I really thought it would work out. They were perfect and had a great taste in music and I thought that they would...at least like me for me.”_ _

__“Was it a prince situation?” Eskild asks._ _

__“Sort of. They didn't really know who I was and...complained about the royals to me. And I don't think it’s gonna work,” he says. Eskild frowns._ _

__“If they couldn’t appreciate you for you...then maybe they weren’t for you. Your one true love isn’t the only true love you’ll have in your life. You can be just as happy with other people. You’re a prince...not a fairy tale character.”_ _

__“I guess.”_ _

__\---  
When Isak gets back to his room, he finally checks his phone again. He has another message from Even._ _

_are you ok?_

__Isak really should block his number, but he still can’t let himself. He still cares. Even hurt him… but he still feels like Even might be one of the only people he can stand to talk to. It’s been awhile (almost 2 weeks) since they've talked and Isak...misses him. Would Even really want to see him at this point? After two weeks of silence?_ _

__He takes a deep breath and sends a message._ _

_no_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> HERE!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter. We're officially on spring break, so we might be updating midweek as well!!!

Even’s reply is immediate. 

_where are you? do you need help?_

Isak stares at his phone, almost shocked. Even still wants to see him? 

He sits up slowly from where he’s curled up on the couch and looks around the dark room. He’s been holed up in the castle for so long that the thought of leaving seems novel. He didn’t have a reason, before. Not a good enough one. Not Even. He lets out a long breath before replying. 

_don’t worry. I’m safe._ Somewhat. What Even doesn’t know won’t kill him.  
_I’ll meet you soon._

A new bubble pops up almost instantly, followed quickly by another.

_when?_  
_where?_

Isak feels himself smile, it’s barely there, but he can feel it. It’s the first time in what seems like forever he hasn’t had to force it. 

_soon._ He replies. He has to take a shower and find clothes that will cover his bruises - how long will that take? He types another message before he can overthink it. _3 hours. The park bench_

That should give him enough time to...he doesn't know where to start. Shower? That seems doable. He forces himself up and pads quietly through the dark rooms. The only light is spilling from in between the heavy curtains, making long stripes on the stone floors. His bedroom is the brightest - there’s a wall of windows looking out onto the balcony he’s never used, and Eskild must have opened the shades.

The bathroom is cold and he shivers involuntarily when his bare feet touch the marble tiles. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and winces.

He’ll need to find a scarf. That's for sure. 

He turns on the shower as hot as it’ll go, and steps underneath the heavy spray. The temperature stings at first, but he gets used to it quickly. 

By the time he gets out the room is humid, and the mirror is fogged. Good. He doesn’t want to look at himself anymore.

At the back of his closet, there’s a small space where he keeps his casual clothes - sweatshirts, jeans, sneakers - and he weeds through to find something that’s both warm and reasonably clean. It takes him a while, but he gets dressed and wraps a thick maroon scarf around his neck. It’s cold out, so Even probably won’t be suspicious, but he has this feeling that he’ll be able to tell anyway.

He finds his glasses and pulls on a beanie over his still wet hair. It’ll have to work.

\---

He can see Even sitting on the park bench, his back facing Isak, long before he reaches him. He considers backing out, but he's so close. He pulls his scarf into place and zips up his hoodie further. 

“Hey,” Isak says when he finally reaches the bench. Even turns and looks at him and starts to smile, but Isak can see his eyebrows knitting in concern after a second. 

“Hi,” Even says, motioning for Isak to sit next to him. Isak perches on the bench, a little further away from Even than necessarily comfortable. He pulls his coat tighter around him. “Are you...how are you?” Even asks cautiously. Isak shrugs.

“Not great. I know I’m supposed to say that things are good but -” Even cuts him off.

“You’re not supposed to say anything. Just...what you feel.” He looks so concerned that it makes Isak feel guilty.

“Things have been...rougher than usual,” he starts, not making eye contact, instead staring out over the river.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it my fault?” Even asks. Isak doesn’t want to hurt him, but he also doesn’t want to lie. 

“Somewhat. I’m - It’s fine. I was just in a bad place.”

“Was?” Even asks, the hurt evident in his voice. Isak swallows, biting his lip. 

“Am...I guess.” There’s silence for a moment.

“What did I...what did I do?” He sounds almost desperate, and Isak’s stomach twists. This was a bad idea. Why is he here?

“Stuff you said about uh, the royals and everything. It just got to me.” Even nods, but is still clearly confused.

“It’s ok to be upset by stuff like that. Injustice, and everything. Maybe that’s too strong a word, but...I don’t know. It makes me upset too.”

“No, it’s not that.” He doesn’t want to say it out loud, so he just keeps staring ahead, focused on the horizon. The city looks different from down on the ground, as opposed to up in the air where he usually is. He waits for Even to understand.

“So you’re...sympathizing with them then?” Even doesn’t sound mad.

“It’s complicated, but...yeah.”

“I’m sorry, I never would’ve gone off like that if I thought -” Isak interrupts him.

“It’s fine.”

“Is that why you haven’t been texting?”

“Kind of, but not really. I haven’t been talking to anyone, actually. I just get...sad, sometimes. I don’t know.” 

“Well I wasn’t going to say this, but you look awful. I can tell that you haven’t felt well, if that makes sense.”

Isak laughs bitterly, looking down at his hands.

“Yeah, it makes sense.”

“Why didn’t you text? You were mad, or...?”

“I mean, at first I was upset, but after a while, I just thought that I’d been such a dick by ignoring you that you wouldn’t want to talk to me anyway. Plus, I was just sleeping all the time and I probably was out of bed like...2 hours a day? Didn’t do much.”

“Did you...go off your meds or something?” Isak’s taken aback by the question. He finally turns his head to look at Even.

“Meds?” Even nods, as if this is a perfectly natural question to ask.

“Yeah, are you on meds? For depression? I don’t want to be presumptuous -” 

“No, I’m not uh, sick or anything. Head wise. Technically, not sick, I guess. I probably am, considering.”

“You’re not diagnosed, then,” Even says. Isak looks down at his hands for a second before glancing up at Even. He sucks in a breath before replying. 

“No,” Isak says, and he can see Even’s face twitch slightly before he speaks. 

“I don’t want to be overstepping or anything, obviously -” 

“No, my parents just don’t go for that kind of stuff. They wouldn’t ever...it’s fine,” Isak says and Even sighs, hesitating before continuing. 

“I’ve struggled with it in the past, that’s why I’m so, uh, comfortable talking about it, I guess. I’m bipolar. It’s all under control now, I had some issues in high school but um, anyway...you probably didn’t need to know that.” Even looks slightly embarrassed. Isak is just shocked that he felt comfortable enough to tell him.

“You’re bipolar?”

“Yeah. It’s not as huge a part of my life as it used to be, but it still flares up sometimes. I take meds for it.”

“And they help?”

“Yeah, definitely. I go to therapy too - sorry, this is boring.”

“It’s not boring.”

“Well, we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you. And your situation.”

“My situation... isn’t anything you need to worry about,” Isak breathes out slowly. Even frowns. Isak looks down. He feels an arm around him and he tenses. Even has moved closer to him. 

“Sorry,” Even says, feeling Isak’s initial discomfort. Isak shakes his head and melts into Even’s side, resting his head carefully on the older boy’s shoulder. 

“It’s ok.” Does Even really think he’s depressed? Is that what all this shit he goes through actually is? Even seems like he’d know. Then again, even if it was true, what would he do about it?

Even just keeps his arm wrapped around Isak’s shoulders, and Isak tries to forget everything Even said about his family and his life and his public persona. He’s just trying to live in this moment.

He feels Even’s fingers on his chin - they’re so different from any other touch he’s felt. He wants to cry. Even's hand is turning his head, gently, so they’re staring at each other. Even has that intensity in his eyes. Quiet warmth and determination and want. Isak only realizes what’s about to happen a second before it does, and has just enough time to close his eyes.

He’s done a lot of kissing. Kissing Emma, kissing Sara - it’s not an unfamiliar feeling. This, though, is different. Even is different. There’s something in his chest he’s never felt before. 

Isak is disappointed when Even leans back, and without thinking, pulls him back again, deepening the kiss. He thinks he can feel Even laugh, and a hand is in his hair. All he can think about is getting closer. Having Even closer.

After what feels like an eternity, they separate, and Even smiles, laughing softly, tipping his forehead so it rests against Isak’s. His hand’s migrated to the back of Isak’s neck, underneath his scarf.

“Fuck,” Isak breathes, and Even gives him another soft, quick kiss. “I need to show you something.”

Even retreats, confused, but nods. Before Isak can change his mind, he stands, grabbing Even’s hand, and starts to walk.

\--

“You work here?” They’re at the back gates of the castle, and Isak is swiping his ID. He’s really not supposed to let people in if they don’t have clearance, which Even certainly doesn’t, but at this point, he doesn’t care.

“Um. Sort of. It’s easier to just...I’ll show you around later. They know me,” Isak pulls his hood up higher and adjusts his scarf. 

They walk to one of the service doors, and after climbing three flights of stairs Even seems to be losing patience.

“Why aren’t you in school?” Even asks. “If you work here I mean. Isn’t...aren’t you too young?”

Isak takes a deep breath, and opens the door to his suite, hoping silently that Eskild isn’t waiting for him.

“It’s complicated,” he says stepping to the side and motioning for Even to enter. He takes a few steps and looks around carefully.

“Did you just break into a bedroom?” Even asks turning around. Isak sighs. He wants to roll his eyes but he’ll be patient.

“This is my room.” He sees a grin spreading across Even’s face like he’s just heard a joke. 

“So what does this mean?”

“It means I live here,” Isak says slowly.

“You live here. Here, in this room.”

“Yes.”

“In the castle.”

“Yeah,” Isak says nodding.

“So what’s your job? Do you...cook? Are you a laundry...boy?”

“Uh, you know, the royal family? So, well...when the King and Queen were - wait, are you fucking with me? You are!” Even laughs and walks toward him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah. I’m not an idiot. I look like one, but, even I can figure this out,” he says, teasing, and Isak rolls his eyes.

“Sorry.” He walks over to the couch that’s become his new place in the last few days.

“I’m joking, you’re fine. I really thought you looked familiar.”

“I’m sorry I never told you, I was going to, and then...” Isak trails off and Even frowns.

“I’m sorry about what I said, I never would’ve-”

“It’s fine, Even. I swear, it’s completely fine. I get it, I get why you feel that way.”

“I didn’t know you, I shouldn’t have-”

“Stop.” Isak touches Even’s cheek. “It’s alright. Just...know that I’m not like that. All that shit in the magazines, that’s not me. This, right now, is me.” Even smiles softly. He gives Isak another kiss, almost hungry, and Isak kisses him back, letting his mouth open. “Stay,” he says, breathless.

“Here?” Isak nods. “Sounds good.”

\--

They fall asleep watching a movie on Isak’s oversized television he never uses - Romeo and Juliet. He was careful to keep his hood up - he had to take his scarf off, and the last thing he wanted was for Even to see his bruises. Luckily, it was dark and they were tired.

Isak’s never fallen asleep with somebody. It’s so warm - he always forgets how warm people are. Nobody touches him normally, unless it’s his mother, and she’s not exactly doing it out of affection, so being held - being pressed against a beautiful boy with a glowing smile and a perfect laugh - it’s almost more than he can bear.

He wakes up to a knock on his door, and Eskild’s voice.

“Time to get up, pretty prince!” Isak swears, and Even stirs slightly, still half asleep. He looks so soft, having just woken up, but Isak doesn’t have time to appreciate it.

“I’m awake, Eskild!” he calls and Even laughs. He kisses Isak’s cheek lazily before sitting up straight, stretching his arms.

“Breakfast is at 9! Be downstairs, please?” Isak feels himself blush. He just hopes Eskild doesn’t decide to just come right in.

“I will!” He hears Eskild walk away, and he sighs, relieved. He flops back down on the pillow, covering his face, groaning.

“Pretty prince?” Even asks, teasing. Isak just gives a half smile in response. “I should go, huh?” Isak frowns.

“Yeah, I think so.” Isak wonders what Even thinks about Eskild. A servant? A bodyguard? He tries not to dwell on it.

He takes Even to the back gates, and though all he really wants is to kiss him goodbye, he knows he can’t. Sure, he thinks no one’s watching, but the consequences of getting caught are too much to risk. One thing he’s learned never to underestimate is the omnipresence of cameras. No matter where he is, they’re always there too.

He goes back inside, unable to keep a smile off his face. He kissed Even. Even kissed him back. They slept in the same bed.

He gets dressed quickly, not sure how to hide the still purple-blue bruises. It’s just breakfast. Nobody’s going to be there. At least that’s what he’s telling himself.

There’s a knock at the door.

“Time to go.” Isak feels a stab of panic at the sound of the voice. Elias. He checks his phone quickly with shaking hands and sees a few new texts from Eva. He doesn’t have time for them now, but he’s sure it isn’t an emergency.

When he opens the door, Elias sets his jaw.

“Haven’t seen you in a little while,” Isak says, not sure where this false confidence is coming from. Elias starts to walk and scoffs.

“No surprise, you haven’t been out of your room in weeks.” Elias glances down at his neck. He smiles. “I knew you were a fag but I didn’t know you were so kinky,” Isak flinches slightly.

He decides not to reply, just follows Elias down the stairs and into the dining room. Just like that, his good mood is gone. Elias opens the large door, and Isak walks over the threshold, taking a deep breath. He stops dead right inside the room and it's only Elias’ push uncomfortably low on his back that urges him to move. 

“Mother. Father. Princess Emma,” he addresses carefully. 

“We were just telling lovely Emma here about that awful fight you got into,” King Tarjei says with a meaningful look. Isak nods reflexively in agreement. 

“Oh, Isak! I can’t believe you were attacked by a homeless man! I told you that associating with those people would only be trouble,” Emma says, looking at him with pity. Isak takes a deep breath, but doesn’t speak his mind. He sits down carefully next to Emma, and she takes his hand, holding it tighter than she needs to.

“It’s nice to see you,” he says, and she smiles.

“Yeah, I heard you haven’t been feeling so well?”

“I feel fine.” He aims for a casual dismissal, but it comes out more like a barb. He sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She shrugs, adjusting her grip on his hand. It feels uncomfortable. Not like Even’s. Even’s hands feel like they fit with his.

They sit like that for the rest of the meal, Isak trying to eat with his left hand, Emma giggling and clinging onto his arm, leaning into his shoulder painfully. 

She’s obviously working very hard to impress his parents. Isak feels sorry for her. He’d tried that once. It won’t work. Then again, she’s not him, and that seemed to be the main issue they had with Isak in the first place. 

\---

When he’s finally on his own again (after hours of walking the extensive grounds with Emma), Isak is able to check the massive backlog of messages from Eva and Even that had built up throughout the day. First, he opens Even’s.

_I left you something under your pillow_  
_That sounded so creepy, sorry, i swear i’m not a serial killer_  
_Then again, that doesn’t mean shit because if I was why would I tell you?_  
_This is spiralling out of control_  
_main idea: check your pillow, im not a creep_

He’s about to get up and look for Even’s (present? note?) when his phone buzzes again. It’s Eva. He checks his unread messages (7) from her.

 _Hey_  
_Did you see this? hahahahaha_ He [clicks the link](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158250410442/modern-royalty-auwhos-the-royal-boo-after-weeks). It’s a brief article that details pretty much his entire life in the public eye, framed by his so-called relationships with Eva and Emma. It’s very...pink. He smirks. They think they know everything, but they couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s nice to have a bit of power. It’s...fun to have a double life. 

_Should I start wearing flower crowns? I think it suits me:)_  
_What do you think ex-boyfriend ;)_  
_shit wait here’s[another cover ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158292404107/modern-royalty-au). I swear it wasn’t me._ he doesn’t know what she means until he clicks the link. It takes him only a moment to read it, and the panic sets in just as quickly. He’s barely able to get to the bathroom before he loses his breakfast. He’s shaking, his vision starting to blur. He’s been trying so hard to get this to work. To keep his image clean. What are his parents going to think when they see this?

Then, there’s the idea of an “inside source.” Who, which one of his friends, could have sold this story? Any of them. Sources get paid, and was there anyone in his life who wouldn’t spread lies about him for a buck?

The thought makes his heart feel like it’s stopped. He struggles to catch his breath, trying to calm down, but nausea is still churning in his stomach. Eva showed him. “It wasn’t me I swear.” It wasn’t Eva, then.

He opens his messages back up and reads her last one.  
_Are you ok? Can come over? ___

__He checks the timestamp. She sent that only 20 minutes ago. If he’d only checked his phone earlier than she could have been on her way already. He types back a hasty reply. His vision is slightly blurry and he’s still in the full throes of his panic attack, but he thinks he manages to type something moderately legible with his shaking hands._ _

_yrs ,hellpp_  
Only a second passes before he sees Eva reply. 

_STAY WHERE YOU ARE I’M CALLING ESKILD._ He’s somewhat touched. Eva remembered that his vision is touchy at best when he’s panicked. He focuses his energy back on his breathing, and rests his forehead against the toilet seat, closing his eyes. 

__Everything feels like it’s crumbling. It’s all he can do to keep his breathing somewhat steady. It feels like only a moment before Eskild’s voice is echoing off the tiled floor._ _

__“Isak, relax, you’re alright.” His head is pounding, but he can still hear clearly. He reaches out and grabs onto Eskild’s shirt, bunching it up in his hand. “Woah there!” Eskild says, trying to detach his shirt from Isak. “Hey. Hey! Shhhh. You’re ok. Everything is ok.”_ _

__He sinks to the floor next to the younger boy, running a careful hand over his back, trying to calm him down. They stay that way for a few minutes, quiet tears running down Isak’s cheeks._ _

__“Eva’s gonna be coming soon, I’ll go wait out in the living room, you come when you feel better, ok?” Isak just nods, and Eskild leaves him alone._ _

__He’s considerably calmer, the worst of the panic is gone, but now he’s left with an overwhelming weakness. It takes a few minutes to stop the room from spinning, and another few to gather the energy to get up._ _

__When he walks out of the bathroom, Eskild is sitting on the couch with Noora’s head in his lap. He’s stroking her hair, smiling at her. For a second, Isak feels what he thinks might be jealousy. Even though Eskild is his closest friend and nearest thing he has to a parental figure, Isak is constantly reminded that he’s not Eskild’s first choice. He obviously cares more for this girl than the teenager he is supposed to (was hired to) care for._ _

__Isak shuffles over to the bed and pulls his comforter off. Noora turns her head to look at him._ _

__“Are you finished?” She asks. Isak doesn’t think she’s trying to be mean, but he’s still on edge, so it gives him pause._ _

__“Hmmm?” He asks, stalling._ _

__“Crying. Are you ok?” Isak breathes out slowly and wraps the heavy blanket around his shoulders._ _

__“Better than I was,” he says softly, walking over to the space in front of the couch and sitting down. He pulls the blanket in tighter around him._ _

__“Look…” Noora starts. “I’m...sorry about saying you were wasting Eskild’s time the other day. That was unfair. You obviously need help.”_ _

__“Ok,” Isak says. He’s not really sure where she’s going with this._ _

__“I just...I’m here if you ever need somewhere further than Eskild to run to. I’ll leave my address and phone with you. I might not really know or necessarily like you, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.” She finishes her little speech with a slight nod. Isak isn’t really sure how to respond. At first, he just stares, but after a second he tries to offer her a slight smile and nods. It must look convincing enough because she smiles back at him._ _

__“Come sit little prince,” Eskild says, patting the other end of the couch, so Isak does. “I decided to invite Noora, I hope that’s alright.” It’s not exactly alright, but Isak is too uncomfortable to tell her to leave, so he just shrugs. At least Eskild showed up. He sits down next to Eskild, maneuvering his blanket to cover the three of them._ _

__“How’s your neck?” Eskild asks eventually as if just remembering his injury. Isak lowers the blanket slightly. “Ouch. That’s pretty dark. Have you put anything on it?” Isak shakes his head. “Ok. We can do that later, alright?” Eskild pets his hair slightly and Isak smiles. Eskild seems to only reach out to him when it’s clear he’s hurting. They sit in silence for a while and Isak begins to doze. He can her Noora and Eskild talking in hushed tones beside him, but he’s far too tired to care._ _

__After a while, he is gently shaken awake. There’s a knock on the door and Isak starts to stand. He draws up his blanket around him as he trudges over to the door._ _

__“What’s the password?” Isak drowsily calls through the door. He knows it’s Eva, so he’s not worried. After a second, he gets a response._ _

__“You know what? Fuck you! My memory is shit. Wait, is it...clam chowder?” Isak laughs._ _

__“Is that the red or the white?”_ _

__“Shit, uh, red?”_ _

__“Wrong. I’ll also accept the secret knock?” He teases when it’s clear she doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about. Neither does he, but this is providing a little respite from his bad mood._ _

__“Just let me the fuck in...or I can go since you’re clearly feeling so much better.”_ _

__“Fine.” He opens the door and has a moment of confusion when he sees two girls instead of one. “Oh, Vilde, hi.” The mixture of anxiety and surprise must be evident on his face because Eva immediately starts to explain._ _

__“I just needed to get over here quickly and we were out to lunch and I thought that you guys got along well earlier...so it would be ok? She won’t film or anything. She’s just here as a friend. I swear! If it makes you uncomfortable we can leave…”_ _

__“It’s fine, I’m just, uh, not really fun right now. Sort of boring to watch someone you don’t know just sit around.” In truth, it does make Isak uncomfortable, but he really doesn’t want Eva to go._ _

__“It’s not boring! We’re friends,” Vilde says, smiling wide._ _

__“Ok,” he says. He glances over at Eskild and Noora for a second before turning back to Vilde and Eva. “Eskild, Noora, this is Vilde and Eva,” he says hurriedly. “I’m going to go change.”_ _

__He walks over to his too-large closet and closes the door behind him. He finds one of his heavier sweaters with a higher collar - to cover his bruises - pulling it on over his t-shirt, and wraps himself back in the blanket. When he walks out into the room, Eskild catches his eye and smirks._ _

__“Out of the closet, finally?” Eskild says teasingly. Isak rolls his eyes. Even if the joke is fitting, Eskild doesn’t know it._ _

__“Fuck off,” Isak replies, joking because it’s what they expect._ _

__“We got out Sorry,” Vilde says, smiling. “Eva said it was one of your favorites,” She glances over at her girlfriend and blushes slightly._ _

__“We play with hands, so it isn’t just chance,” Eskild clarifies to Noora who looks fairly confused by the choice. After a few rounds, it becomes clear that playing without hands of cards might be the only way to beat her._ _

__“This is insane,” Eva says after the 4th game. “How are you doing this?” Noora just shrugs._ _

__\---_ _

__“Hey! I have an idea!” Vilde says once they’ve tired of getting beaten by Noora._ _

__“What?” Eva asks, kissing her cheek. Vilde smiles._ _

__“Well you said that Isak liked that video that Sana made where she talked about the media taking advantage of him…” she trails off, trying to get them to connect the points for themselves._ _

__“So? He likes lots of internet videos,” Eskild says. “But we’re definitely not going to watch those as a group.”_ _

__“Ew, Eskild,” Noora says, and Isak feels himself blush._ _

__“Yeah, I liked it. I was surprised that...anyone, really, would defend me. Especially with how I look to the public and how my parents act and all that.”_ _

__“Well...I know Sana and we could call her?” Vilde asks. Isak blinks in surprise. “I have my computer with me and we could...I don’t know...FaceTime or something?” He’s not really sure if he is ready to meet someone so...self assured. Sana surprised him with her support, but maybe it was just a facade. Stating unpopular opinions can get you a lot of clicks on the internet._ _

__“Isak?” Noora asks. Isak starts. He hadn’t realized he never responded to Vilde’s question._ _

__“Uh, sure,” he says, snuggling deeper into his blanket and pulling his knees up to his chest. Vilde quickly dials Sana, who picks up immediately._ _

__“Hey,” she says, deadpan, and Vilde waves, smiling wide._ _

__“Hey, love! Remember I told you I know Isak?” Sana purses her lips and nods. “I’m here with him!”_ _

__“But are you really? Because I’m pretty sure they don’t let gays into the castle,” Sana says, and Eskild snorts loudly._ _

__“Yes! He’s right here! Look!” She turns the laptop so it’s pointed at Isak, and he gives a small wave. Sana laughs._ _

__“Shit, she does know you. I thought this was like the time she tried convincing us that just because she only slept with women didn’t mean she was a lesbian.” Noora laughs, and Sana smirks. “You look terrible, by the way.”_ _

__“Sana!” Vilde exclaims._ _

__“What? I’m just being honest. He looks bad, that’s all I’m saying.”_ _

__“Be nice please!” Vilde says, and Isak just shrugs._ _

__A girl walks into the frame behind Sana. She’s eating yogurt, licking the spoon almost aggressively._ _

__“Sana. What are you doing? Where’d you put the TV remote?”_ _

__“This is Chris,” Sana says, ignoring the girl’s questions. “She pays rent because Youtube is a capitalist machine that doesn’t provide me a living wage.”_ _

__“You look like Igor. The prince kid,” Chris says around a mouthful of yogurt, and winks._ _

__“Isak,” Sana corrects. Chris rolls her eyes._ _

__“Whatever,” she says, and walks out of frame. Sana smiles._ _

__“So, what are your thoughts on the crime rates in Waeluryn?” Isak smiles. Even’s hometown._ _

__“I’ll get back to you on that.”_ _

__

__\---_ _

__“Hey, Isak?” Eskild calls out. He sounds concerned and Isak doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t want Eskild to start talking about his parents or something else equally unpleasant. He just hums in response. “So…you’d tell me if you thought you had a stalker, right?” That makes Isak turn from the counter where he was carefully assembling a sandwich. His appetite has finally come back, and he’s taking advantage of this small window of opportunity._ _

__“What?” He asks in surprise._ _

__“A stalker?” I just...look at[this](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158292406492),” Eskild says, holding out a piece of paper. On it is a cartoon version of Isak, wearing a crown, asleep. “Is this...how’d you get this?” Isak looks at it closely. He’s sure that this is what Even left for him, but he doesn’t want to really tell Eskild that._ _

__“A person,” he squints his eyes slightly, knowing that this sounds made up. “A person gave that to me. It’s cute, right?” He says. Eskild tilts his head slightly._ _

__“Yeah. Ok,” he says skeptically._ _

__Isak takes it, smoothing the paper, smiling. Somehow, things will be ok._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midweek update!!! Happy snow day Northeast :)!  
> The weather in this chapter is weird but makes sense considering that last week it was 70 degrees where we live, but today we got 2 feet of snow. 
> 
> (Also if anyone who reads this knows Tarjei, we need a picture of him wearing hipster glasses. For stuff.)  
> That's mostly a joke.

“So this is where _you_ live?” Isak asks walking into the small, but bright dorm room. 

“Yeah. Not as fancy but it’s kind of warm, and sort of dry, so, ya know.”

“No! I like it! It’s happy looking,” Isak says. There are photos on the wall by his bed, hung up with pieces of peeling tape. In one, he poses with two small blonde girls on the beach. In another, a younger Even is sitting on a dock, hugged by two middle-aged women. “Is this your family?” Even nods, smiling.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t elaborate, but there’s a fond look on his face. There a lot of questions Isak wants to ask, but he’s not sure if any of them seem right. He wants to know what it’s like to have a family.

He wants to ask about Even’s disorder too. What made him think Isak was depressed? Was it obvious? Even seemed pretty sure, but Isak would know if he was, right? He’d tried to ask Eskild a few days ago, but it wasn’t much help. It was all stressing him out - mental illnesses, secret kisses. 

He’d looked up Bipolar disorder too, but again, not much help. The two pictures didn’t match up in his head - Even and the illness. Every time he’d seen Even, he’d been happy. Calm. Confident. Bipolar...wasn’t any of those things. He sounds ignorant, even to himself, and asking would just make Even upset, wouldn’t it?

He pushes it all from his mind and tries to focus on Even idly chatting about his morning classes as he puts away and packs up books. 

“-and then the guy with the hat asked where the viewfinder was! I mean, it turned out that he was just taking notes for a friend that was out sick, but the viewfinder? In photography?” Even turns to see Isak’s reaction. Isak laughs slightly. It’s funny, but he has other things on his mind. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I’m good. If we want to watch the movie you wanted to show me before you have to head off to class, we should start…” Even had been talking for the last few weeks about showing Isak an ‘amazing movie! The cinematography is to die for! And the directing.’

“If you have to talk or anything…” Even trails off. They’d been talking every day over Skype and texting memes back and forth almost constantly. They’d only briefly touched on anything of the weight that they had on the first day that they kissed, but it wasn’t as if they’d avoided it either. Things with Even felt comfortable and safe and free of all the shit the rest of his life was drowning in. Isak did not want to screw that up.

So, he just places his hand on Even’s shoulder and leans in to give him a kiss. The taller boy smiles as their lips meet and rests his forehead against Isak’s. He runs a thumb over his cheek.

A few minutes later they’re under the duvet on Even’s tiny twin bed, leaning against the wall, the laptop balanced between them. Isak loves every moment of contact with Even, and he craves it when he’s not there.

They’ve met up as much as they were able in the past three weeks, but as time’s gone on Isak has gotten more and more nervous about someone finding out. He insists on wearing his glasses, sitting with his back to the door at coffee shops - this thing with Even crumbling is too much to risk.

Every so often, Even will nuzzle Isak’s cheek, kissing the corner of his mouth or the curve of his jaw, tearing Isak’s already wavering focus away from the movie. About halfway through, Even hits pause. 

“What, you wanna just make out straight up?” Isak teases and Even smiles.

“Nah, just tired. Nap?” 

“Absolutely.” They shift so they’re lying down, Isak wrapped up in Even’s arms. His own bed, with its expensive sheets and thick pillows, could never be as nice as this. That bed was empty and cold and didn’t smell like Even. Soap and lemon and something Isak can never seem to place but reminds him of the beach.

It’s so easy to fall asleep with Even holding him close and breathing into his neck. Sometimes, if he concentrates hard enough, he can feel Even’s heart beating. It seems absurd, but Isak is sure that this is the happiest he’s ever been. Maybe the happiest he’ll ever be.

\---

“Hey, babe,” Even murmurs and Isak opens his eyes slowly. 

“Hmm?” He responds blearily, and Even laughs, quiet and soft. There are stripes of light - cut by the blinds - lying across Even’s face.

“I have class, so I have to go. You can stay and sleep more - you don’t have to, but you’re always sleepy, so I’d say it’s probably the best option. I’ll be back in an hour or two, ok?” He sees Isak’s slightly anxious expression. “No one’s gonna bother you, I can lock the door, and my roommate Will is in Blayrus for the week, so nobody would break in and find out or anything.”

“You’ll be back soon?” Isak can’t help but sound clingy, but he doesn’t care. Even kisses his cheek.

“Mmhmm,” Even hums. Isak sighs as he softly shuts the door.

Isak quickly sinks back into an easy slumber, surrounded by the warmth and scent of Even’s bed. It’s the best sleep he has had in weeks. His bruising had faded completely in the past week, and he’d managed to go along with the commands of King Terje and Queen Marianne for long enough that he hadn’t really acquired any new (major) injuries. Even seemed to make his anxiety more manageable. Knowing that he’d get to hang out with Even made all the time he spent whispering sweet nothings to Emma bearable. 

Emma was a completely different story. She was possessive, to an outrageous degree, and she was very out of touch with the average person, which was frequently creating problems. Isak always felt embarrassed to go anywhere with her as she would find some way of being rude to even the kindest, most tangential to their date, normal person around. It would almost be impressive how easily she was able to overlook the emotions of others if it wasn’t so distressing. 

But now, Isak isn’t thinking about any of that. Now, he isn’t thinking about anything. For once.

He wakes up to Even sitting at his cluttered desk, typing quietly, wearing headphones. It’s significantly darker out.

“Even?” The older boy slips off his headphones, and they hang around his neck.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he says, and Isak sits up, rubbing his eyes. He’s not used to feeling this comfortable. This warm. “You were so pretty like that I just left you. Hope that’s ok.”

“C’mere.” Even gladly obliges, climbing onto the narrow mattress, pulling Isak close, placing a kiss on his temple. “Have you made any movies?”

“Yeah, a couple. They’re not good or anything -” Isak scoffs, cutting Even off.

“Of course they’re good!”

“You haven’t seen them,” Even protests. “They might be shit!” Isak shakes his head.

“You love it, so I’ll love it.”

“I love doing it, the end result...I don’t know.”

“Well, let me decide if they’re any good for myself before you start apologizing.” Even is blushing. It’s something Isak never thought he’d see. 

“It’s just...embarrassing. Everything that I have finished is old and my new stuff isn’t good yet, but...I’ve grown a lot and my art has changed and-” Even cuts himself off. 

“And what?” Isak prompts.

“I...I just thought I had a lot to say, but I don’t think I did any of it justice,” he finishes reluctantly.

“How do you mean?” Isak asks. Even looks off to the side where the pictures of his moms and sisters sit. 

“I need to tell the world about my life. I need to explain my family and show everyone how much I love them. I need to explain Waeluryn. I have to apologize for where I live, where I grew up. I have to show the world that it’s still a magical place despite its reputation,” Even takes a deep breath. “I don’t know how to express what’s in my head and what’s in my heart. Out of every 20 attempts at making something, maybe one comes out even an eighth of what I want it to be.” He looks back over at Isak. 

“You try, though. You try, and that’s important. And if something comes from someplace real then...it’s real. And it’s true. I...I wish I could live a real life.” Even frowns, tightening his arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders.

“Stop it,” he whispers. “Your life is real. You’re real, Iss.”

“My life with you is real,” Isak whispers back. It feels like he’s getting dangerously attached. In this moment, he’s too close to saying things that aren’t yet entirely true, but might one day be. Even seems to feel it too, because he backs away and reaches for his computer, lessening the intensity of the moment. He quickly pulls up some video files on the screen. 

“I really trust you,” Even says. Isak smiles. He can live with that. It seems apt. 

“I really trust you too,” He replies. 

They begin watching videos of Waeluryn as Even sees it. Small, sunny children running around, jumping in puddles. A woman laughing while kneading bread. The blue-white foam of waves on a jagged rock formation. A close-up tracking shot of small feet running down a damp dock. Isak can almost taste the salt and feel the wind whipping through his hair. Someone is singing, the notes are high and clear, but the words are in a language Isak can’t understand. 

The tears are streaming down his face before he’s entirely aware of what he’s even watching. He certainly doesn’t understand why he’s crying. Everything is just so beautiful and so...home. He has nostalgia for something that he has never personally experienced. 

“You’re crying?”

“No,” Isak denies unsuccessfully. “My eyes are...leaking,” he tries. Even laughs and Isak laughs along with him. Even wipes his cheeks with a thumb, kissing where his tears had been after each stroke. 

Even grabs on to Isak’s hand and starts rubbing small circles where his thumb joins his hand. Isak huffs out a small breath and sinks further into Even’s side. After the short film is done, Even reaches over and puts his computer away, never moving from Isak’s side or letting go of his hand.

“Oh! This is pretty,” Even says, after Isak's tears have tapered off. Isak looks down in confusion. His nails. Eskild had sat him down the day before, and with a quick ‘you can let me practice or you can talk about your emotional state,’ Isak sat perfectly still for well over an hour. “I like your nail polish. Very...pink.”

“Yeah…” Isak says noncommittally, smiling, shy.

“What? You don’t like it?” Even asks. Isak shrugs. 

“It’s fine. It was this or having a deep heart-to-heart with Eskild, though. I don't know. It’s ok. I’ll have to take it off before my mom sees. She’ll flip.”

“Oh,” Even’s teasing smile drops from his face. He’s probably just remembered who Isak’s parents are, but Isak almost worries that Even knows the real consequences.

“It’s fine,” Isak says, trying to look unbothered, but sure the discomfort is showing on his face.

“You have beautiful hands,” Even says, and that draws a smile from the younger boy.

“Shut up.”

“I’d make a film about them. Just them.” Isak lets out a soft breath, resting against Even’s shoulder. “Just...your hands.”

Even reaches down by the side of his bed and pulls something out of a bag. A camera. Isak laughs and Even smirks.

“No way.”

“Yes, way. Look, just...lay them on your lap. Like that.” Even brings the camera up to his face, adjusting the focus. “You’re all tense.”

“Yeah, because you’re filming my hands.” Even laughs, looking quickly at the screen on the back of the camera. 

“Just pretend I’m not. Let them do what they want to do.” Isak smiles.

“They want to be touching you.” Even plays with a few of the dials.

“Not that. Strict rule, I am not appearing in any of my own films. Ever.” He presses a button and his face shifts into an expression of pure focus. “Ok,” he says after a few seconds. “You know you can move your hands, right?” 

“I don’t know what I’m doing. What are hands? Why do I have arms? This seems so inconvenient.” Even is still filming, moving the camera slowly in what seems like a choreographed, yet still spontaneous, rhythm.

“No one will know it’s you. You can do whatever. I’m serious.” Isak puts up his middle finger. “That’s more like it!” 

“I’m just flipping you off,” Isak deadpans. Even kisses his cheek, lingering for a moment before pulling back, looking back at the camera. 

“Perfect. Got it. That’s a wrap on scene 1.”

“Scene 1 of how many?”

“Infinite.”

\---  
Even’s sitting on the floor with his back pressed to the bed, typing away furiously. Isak is flipping through a worn paperback copy of a collection of fairy tales. They’re content to sit in silence. Nothing about this has felt forced in any way. It’s been...almost as magical as the short stories Isak has been reading for the past 30 minutes. His phone goes off, breaking the spell. 

“Hey Eskild,” Isak says picking up the phone.

“Heya boo. Where are you?” Eskild asks. Isak looks around the dorm room. He’s certainly not going to be able to explain this. 

“Where?” Isak asks and Even looks up at him. Isak shrugs. 

“Yeah, where. When will you be back?” 

“Ummmm...I don’t know? Maybe 2 am? I’ll meet up with Jonas when I get back.”

“Where are you, though?” Eskild asks again and Isak shakes his head to Even.

“Tell him you’re touring Noulyra, or something,” Even says quietly. Isak turns back to the phone.

“Who was that?” Eskild questions. Obviously not quietly enough. Isak rolls his eyes. 

“An...acquaintance. I’m touring Noulyra,” Isak explains. It sounds weak but will have to do. 

“I need you to be back earlier than that. You can’t just run around like a wild child right now. The press will crack down on you if you are seen out and about late at night,” Eskild says, but Isak can hear the concern in his voice. Isak is so tempted to play the prince card, but Eskild...Eskild is his annoying older brother. 

“Ok. I’ll be back soon. I...I promise. I just…I needed to get away from that place for a bit. I’m fine,” Isak says quickly and hangs up on Eskild before he can reply. 

“Do you have to go?” Even asks from the floor.

“Yeah. Soon,” Isak says moving to sit on the floor next to Even and leaning his head on Even’s shoulder.

“Look at this. It’s [a still from what I just shot](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158408613302/modern-royalty-au),”Even says. Isak is hesitant to look at first but when he does he can’t imagine going his life without seeing it. 

“Is this...me?” He asks after a second. Even nods. Isak leans over and kisses him. Everything about this moment makes him feel safe and warm and loved. He never wants it to end. 

\---

“Where were you?” Eskild asks as soon as Isak closes the door. He jumps in surprise, flipping on the lights. 

“Fuck! What- what the hell?” Eskild is sitting on the bed, arms crossed.

“Where were you? And don’t think about lying to me.”

“Noulrya.” Isak shifts nervously from foot to foot, looking at his fingernails. There are still flecks of pink nail polish from where he couldn’t pick it all off on the train ride. 

“You’re sticking with that story?” Eskild leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“It’s the truth.”

“You’ll tell me eventually,” Eskild says, shifting back slightly. “Right?” Isak swallows and nods reluctantly. He can’t seem to keep secrets from Eskild for long. 

\---

 _Hey babe. Can you buzz me in?_ Isak stares at his phone in confusion.

 _What do you mean?_ He asks. Even must have texted him by accident.  
_i’m outside your house. Castle. whatever. Let me in my balls are frozen_ Isak groans. Leave it to Even to show up at the fucking royal palace and demand entry. 

_stay there, please! Coming now._ Isak texts back quickly. He grabs a jacket and sprints down the back stairs to the small gate he and Even use most frequently when they sneak in and out. 

“Hey! You can’t be here!” Isak calls jokingly when he gets close to where Even is loitering by the gate. “You’re gonna get shot or something.” A smile spreads across Even’s face.

“Worth it,” he retorts, reaching through the gate to hold on to Isak’s hand, dropping a kiss to his knuckles. The wind is whipping hard, and Even’s cheeks are red from the cold, but he’s still smiling. “Wait! I need this for my film.” As has become increasingly frequent in the past two days, Even will ask Isak to pause so he can get the perfect shot for his hypothetical movie. Isak rolls his eyes but obliges. 

“Model status,” he jokes, not even bothering to move his hands. Even laughs. His camera is hanging around his neck from a strap.

“Ok. Done. Are you gonna let me in?”

Isak considers his options. Obviously, he wants Even to stay. Then again, Eskild is already suspicious, and if they got caught together that would be the end.

“Fine.”

He manages to get Even inside and into his room, and they collapse on Isak’s bed. They lie there for a while until Even narrows his eyes.

“Am I smelling food?” he asks, and Isak rolls his eyes.

“Eskild brought me a burrito.”

“What kind?”

“Steak, I think. Your hands are freezing.” Even’s fingers are brushing his cheek.

“I know, I walked. When’s the last time you ate, Iss?”

“I’m fine.”

“C’mon.”

“Please, Even, I don’t want to talk about it.” Though Even doesn’t know the full extent of Isak’s health issues, he knows enough to make sure they eat every time they’re together. 

 

“Can we split your burrito? I’ll eat half, but you have to eat the other half.” Isak sighs but knows he can’t argue. So, they eat together on the couch.

“You’ll never guess what I found last night,” Even says. “[Prince Isak V](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158411686122/modern-royalty-au-isaks-instagram-profile) on Instagram has some nice pics.”

“Oh my god! You didn’t! No! No, no, no, no! No!” Even laughs, nodding.

“I did. Let’s go through some of the highlights,” Even says pulling out his phone. Isak groans. 

“Fine.”

“And here we have the magical, the gorgeous...‘Man with purple tie.’ A true work of our time. The tie symbolizes the internal struggle of the figure, while the constipated expression seems to ask audiences if it an attempt to look cool or a reflection of the inner workings of the Prince of Baewyth’s bowels.” 

“Christ.”

“And here we have the divine ‘Girl with smoothie.’ This piece has such interesting composition. The size of the subject’s smile appears to suggest a forced nature, while the positioning of the drinking straw only acts to highlight the manufactured nature. The horizontal stripes in the woman’s shirt and in the planks of the wall tie the various elements of the piece together,” Even finally finishes. 

“Are you done?” Isak asks, blushing. 

“Not yet. For one of the Prince’s more notable works without the human form, let us turn to the incomparable ‘tilted shots of ceilings...yes that will look cool.’

“Fuck off. I’m held at gunpoint to post something, this looks cool. It’s better than like, a username that incorporates both rap and weed imagery.” Even raises his eyebrows.

“If this is a dig at-”

“It is,” Isak mutters.

“-a dig at my username,” Even continues unbothered. “You should know that it is the coolest and best suited to my personality. I’m hardcore.” Isak rolls his eyes. “Now, I realize you can’t follow me,” Even starts. Isak clears his throat.

“Oh that’s where you’re wrong, asshole,” he says, taking out his phone. Even raises his eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. You think I don’t have a top secret account to stalk my enemies with?” He pulls up the [private profile](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158411692787/modern-royalty-au-isaks-private-instagram-profile), and searches for Even’s username, this time clicking the follow button.

“That’s my drawing!”

“Yeah, that’s your drawing.”

“We should take one now and post it. A picture, I mean,” Even says enthusiastically. Isak takes a deep breath.

“My friends don’t know about you.”

“Oh. Ok.” Even’s face drops, just enough for Isak to register the change.

“I’m working on it. I’m not really out to them yet,” Isak explains. He feels guilty. He should have been able to come out to his friends or at the very least he should have made sure that Even was aware of the depth of his...secret. 

“Well, you wouldn’t have to say we were dating. Just, tell them we’re friends or something,” Even says more brightly.

“We can take one now. I’ll think of a caption and post it when you’re on your way home, so you won’t get interrogated. Can it be just you, though?” Isak asks. He’s almost excited to get to show off his boyfriend, even if no one will necessarily know that they’re together. “You deserve your own personal post.”

“Ok. And mine can be just you?” Even asks, testing to see if Isak is actually comfortable with the scenario. Isak nods.

“Do you think any of your friends will screenshot it or something?” He asks.

“It’s my friend Adrian...who only happens to bear a passing resemblance to the prince.” Even grins. 

“Ok. I’ll do it,” Isak says smiling back. They quickly take the photos. 

“These are really cute,” Even says opening up his Instagram again. He quickly accepts Isak’s follow request and follows him back. “What should the caption be?”

“Ummm...I don’t know,” Isak says, distracted. He’s busy logging into his account to go through all of Even’s photos. He bursts out laughing. 

“I don’t know why you were making fun of me for my Instagram. [This is just as bad](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158411697562/modern-royalty-au-evens-instagram-profile).”

“I’ll block you if you make fun of my awesome ‘gram,” Even says not looking up from his phone. “Really, what should I caption this?” 

“I don’t know. Just use and emoji or lyrics or something. But really the important thing is [this photo](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158411695067/modern-royalty-au-from-evens-instagram). Why?” 

“Let me live. Seriously. It’s a great look.”

“Ok,” Isak says skeptically. “If say so.”

They cuddle together and scroll through pretty pictures of the palace and Waeluryn on their phones. It’s enough to just be close to each other. Isak is relaxed in his own home for one of the first times he can remember. 

“Hey, Isak- wait, what the fuck?!” Eskild, in his typical fashion, has walked into Isak’s bedroom unannounced. “Who is this?” Isak immediately sits bolt upright, suddenly realizing how close he is to Even.

“No one! I mean, someone. Somebody,” Isak tries to cover and he can feel Even shaking with silent laughter beside him. 

“I’m wounded,” Even mutters into his ear. He really isn’t helping. 

“The truth is Eskild… I'm replacing you. I've never liked you and... _Mario_ here is great at...microwaving.” Even chokes on a laugh, pressing his forehead against Isak’s shoulder, smiling.

“Ok...I was just coming to tell you that you have an appointment with Emma,” Eskild says slowly. “I’ll wait for you in the hall.”

Eskild turns and leaves, and as soon as the door closes, Even bursts out laughing. Isak loves hearing him laugh.

“Ok, ‘master of lies’. That was pretty weak,” Even manages through his laughter.

“Is it make fun of Isak day or something? Jeez,” he says, and Even kisses him softly.

“I’ll be here when you get back,” he says, voice gentle. Isak smiles.

“Alright, Extra Bech Nasty.”

“Shut up.”

\---  
“Is this why you’re so against going out with Emma?” Eskild asks once they’re alone. 

“Drop it,” he says shortly, trying to smooth the wrinkles in his pants.

“Who is he?”

“A friend. Look I don’t want to talk about this.” Isak shoves his hands into his pockets.

“If he’s a friend why are you being so defensive?”

“Because I don’t want to talk about him with you, ok? He’s my friend. He’s not involved in any of this shit and I’d like to keep it that way,” Isak snaps.

“Relax, I’m just wondering. It’s no secret you don’t have many friends.” The words sting.

“Thanks, Eskild.”

“It’s true.”

“Ok.”

\---

“Isn’t this so nice?” Emma says bumping her shoulder into Isak’s as they slowly stroll down the crowded street. 

“Yeah,” Isak says. He hopes it comes across somewhat more enthusiastically. He actually has something to look forward to. Even is waiting for him. Even will spend the night. Even will hold him and comfort him and everything will be alright so long as he gets through this outing and allows Emma to do whatever she wants for another two hours. 

“Where should we eat?” Emma asks looking around. 

“Here?” Isak asks at the very first place they pass. It’s a small cafe with flowers decorating the fire escape above the sign. There’s a small outdoor patio in the sunny alley between the building and its succulent shop neighbor. 

“Oh,” Emma says in surprise, probably expecting something fancier. “How...quaint.” Isak smiles. He’ll have to keep this place in mind if he and Even are ever able to go anywhere this close to the castle. 

“C’mon. I see a nice seat on the patio,” Isak says pointing out a bench that overlooks the lovely flowers and the street. They move over to it and drop their bags there. Their security for the day is one of Emma’s guards who she doesn’t acknowledge at all except to instruct him to stay by their stuff. Isak nods in thanks as they walk over to the entrance to order food.

Emma gets something expensive and sweet, but Isak just gets a coffee. It’s almost a perfect reflection of their relationship. 

They go back to their seats, but Emma seems much more interested in kissing than eating. Apparently, she’d ordered the pastry for both of them, and seems intent on feeding it to him in between pecks on the lips. He tries to tell her he’s not hungry, but she (like most of the people he knows) seems intent on ignoring that. 

“You’re like...so skinny. Like I wish I was that fit,” Emma says. 

“I’m not fit, Em. Plus, you look great. Your body is great.” Objectively, Emma is gorgeous. 

“Oh shut up, babe,” Emma says, and Isak cringes slightly, remembering Even back in his room. He lets her pull him into another kiss. This one is deeper, more aggressive. It’s unnatural feeling, at least for Isak. 

He hears the clicks of camera shutters and tries to pull back, but she holds him close by the back of his neck. When they finally separate, she takes his coffee and in one smooth motion pours it out onto the ground.

“Caffeine is bad for you, love. I told you before.” Isak is so shocked he almost laughs.

“What the fuck?” He manages. She frowns. 

“Well, that’s not very nice. I’m just helping you.”

“Someone has to clean that up now, Em.”

“That’s not our problem. Let’s just have a good time, please?” He takes a deep breath, steeling himself, and nods.

“Of course, babe.”

\---

“Baby! I’m home!” Isak calls jokingly as he walks into the dark room.

“Isak. Can we talk?” Even’s voice is serious and Isak freezes in the doorway. 

“Yeah. Why?” Isak asks carefully.

“Am I...your side piece?” Even asks. Isak is shaking his head before he fully knows what he is doing. 

“No! No! Definitely not!”

“Are you sure?” Even says turning his phone around so Isak can see the screen. It’s a picture of Emma and him kissing that afternoon. It’s obviously been taken by one of their “fans” and is captioned ‘sooooo in love with each other! I was shaking!’

“How’d you find this?” Isak asks after a beat of tense silence.

“Your official account was tagged in it and that doesn’t matter. What do you mean? You aren’t going to deny it’s you?” Even looks more hurt than angry.

“I really can explain,” Isak tries. Even holds his gaze for a moment before nodding. “She’s...my girlfriend. I guess. But it’s not real, it’s just for show. It’s arranged, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Does she know that?” Even questions, voice steady. 

“No, but -” He’s cut off.

“Then it’s real, Isak. Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I...I don’t know.” He feels a lump growing in his throat and tears welling in his eyes.

“It’s really not right for you to be doing that to some girl. Have you even thought of her feelings? Of my feelings?”

“Yes! But I don’t have a choice,” Isak manages to choke out, and feels a tear slip down his cheek.

“Of course you do,” Even says, frowning. It’s obvious that he is not swayed by Isak’s excuses. 

“No, I don’t. If I did it would be you. It would be you and nobody else and everyone would know about it but I don’t.” This is the first time he’s cried in front of Even that the older boy hasn’t wiped away his tears. 

“We always have choices, Isak. Sometimes we’re just not willing to deal with the consequences.”

“I have to protect myself. I have to protect everybody,” Isak says, desperately. 

“What do you mean? Isn’t that a little over dramatic?”

“No. It’s not. I just...there are more things at stake than just me and my feelings. Trust me, I would do almost anything. I-” he lets out an involuntary sob, and Even finally seems to break, taking Isak’s face in his hands. The touch only makes Isak cry harder, and Even presses his forehead to his.

“Shhh. It’s ok. I’m sorry. I don’t understand all this stuff, it’s not my place to tell you what’s right and wrong,” Even says softly. He must think that Isak is too privileged to recognize how fucked up this all is. 

“No, I...I…” Isak can’t make it through a sentence. He knows Even is right. All this shit with Emma is so selfish. 

“Stop, shh. Take a deep breath,” Even sounds a lot less calm than he did a few seconds before. Isak realizes that he must have crossed the line between crying and panicking. “Shh, look at me. Calm down. You’re alright.”

“P-Please don’t leave me. Please. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Second chapter in a week! Hope you like it! 
> 
> Warnings: It's a little violent in one place. Also, there's homophobia in a thing that one of the characters sees.

“Eskild?” Isak and Eskild are sitting in Eskild’s apartment. Again. Eskild is painting the younger boy’s nails a vibrant blue. [Some music Eskild likes](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159095326122/so-delicious-a-playlist-by-chloebeaux-on-spotify) is playing through his phone, something about someone giving “zero fucks.” Eskild knows all the words. It’s not exactly Isak’s taste, but he figures if he’s going to hang out at Eskild’s apartment he should at least listen to the music.

“Yeah?” He pauses his lip syncing, looking up from Isak’s nails.

“That guy...that guy you saw in my room - do you remember him?” Eskild laughs, dipping the small brush into the polish again, holding Isak’s hand steady. 

“Do I remember Mario? Yes. I remember him.” Isak takes a deep breath. He knows Eskild will be fine with everything. He’ll be fine with the lies. He’ll be fine with the gay thing too. 

“He’s kind of...my boyfriend.” Eskild just raises his eyebrows, pursing his lips. Not exactly the reaction he was expecting.

“Mmhmm,” Eskild murmurs, going back to his meticulous paint job. Isak scoffs.

“You’re not...surprised,” he says.

“Uh, no I am not.”

“Is it obvious or something?” Eskild shakes his head, smiling.

“I mean...you do come back every week to get your nails done, if we’re going off strictly stereotypes,” he jokes.

“That’s because you’re my friend, that doesn’t count.”

“I’m kidding, Isak. Relax. That guy...I knew from basically the _second_ I saw you with him that you were together.”

“Really?”

“You aren’t exactly stealthy. He was in your bed. You were cuddling. You flinch anytime somebody comes near you, even me, and we’re...extremely close.” Isak looks down at his fingernails, noticing the flecks of glitter in the blue polish.

“I...I like cuddling,” he admits, though somewhat defensive. “I don’t...people don’t touch me. So.”

“I’m glad you have somebody. I really am. The only thing is...I’m…” Eskild takes a deep breath, capping the bottle of nail polish and leaning back against the arm of the couch. He turns down the music. “I’m a little worried. You know how your parents operate. You know how many cameras are in this place.”

“We’ve been really careful,” he says. “I think we’ll be ok.”

“I know you think that, Isak.” Eskild’s voice is very careful. “But at some point...something will happen and you’ll get caught and it won’t be ok. I’m just...worried.”

“He’s not going to break up with me if that’s what you’re thinking.” Isak isn’t exactly following Eskild’s logic.

“I don’t want you to die. I don’t care about your relationship if it comes down to a choice between your health or your boyfriend.”

“My health?”

“Isak. Your parents are dangerous. To your health. They are abusive. It’s not a secret they barely tolerate gays as it is. If they find out about this...you’re going to get more hurt than they can cover up. More hurt than I can help with.”

Isak knows that Eskild is right. Still, the outcome seems inevitable either way. If it isn’t Even that sets them off, it would be something else.

“Just help me. For now. He’s...everything, right now. I can’t give him up. Not until I absolutely have to.” Eskild is quiet for a long time before he shakes his head. He stands up.

“Ok. Your nails are done.” Isak is worried for a moment before Eskild finishes. “And I’ll do my best.”

“Thanks.” Eskild gives a small, bittersweet smile. 

“I just want you to be ok.”

\---

“What is that?” Terje asks, and Isak is startled at the sudden start of a conversation. Dinner has been eerily quiet and it had almost seemed like he’d make it through without any communication at all with his parents.

“What are you referring to?” he asks, immediately on edge. His father points his fork in the general direction of Isak’s hands. He glances down. Same as usual. Shit. The nail polish. 

“That. What is _that_?” He says, and Marianne seems to realize something is going on. She looks up from her plate, focusing her attention on the conversation.

Isak glances over his shoulder. Security...only Elias. If it was Jonas he might have been able to count on a little bit of help if things went south, but he’s not sure what Elias will do if anything. 

“Nail polish.” His voice shakes. Maybe if he’s honest things will go more smoothly. “A friend wanted to practice.”

“A friend,” Marianne repeats, pursing her lips. There’s a heavy beat of silence before she speaks again. “Is there a specific reason why you want to destroy your reputation, or are you just an idiot?”

“I’m not an idiot,” he says, quiet but firm.

“So why, pray tell, do you continue to be such a complete and utter degenerate?” Her voice is getting louder with each sentence.

“I don’t think that’s true,” Isak says quietly. She stands up, rests her hands on the table, and leans forward, so she’s looking at him more squarely. 

“I have warned you, Isak. I have warned you again and again, and I’m done.” Isak knows what’s coming, and braces himself.

“Marianne -” Terje is cut off before he can finish.

She picks up one of the candelabras. It’s a heavy, gleaming silver, intricately decorated. Before Isak really knows what she’s going to do with it, it’s slammed down on top of his left hand. At first, he’s too surprised to feel anything but after a split second the excruciating pain registers. A scream tears out of him. He feels cold with the pain. He can’t breathe, he can’t do anything other than gasp. There’s another blow, and his vision starts to swim with black spots. 

“Mom.” He lets out a broken, sobbing plea.

She lifts it up one more time. His hand is bleeding, so red it’s almost purple. He almost can’t believe it’s his own. 

Again, this time his other hand, and the pain isn’t as intense, but on top of everything else, it’s unbearable. He starts to sob. He can’t think. He can’t breathe.

“Well, of course, you'll have to wear gloves for the ball,” she says matter-of-factly. 

“That’s customary,” Terje says. “I believe the meal is over. Marianne?”

“I’d say so.”

It’s not until Elias touches his shoulder that Isak realizes he’s still conscious and it’s time to go. He stands, shaking, not aware of anything other than the pain and Elias leading him - gently? - into the hall. 

“Elias, Eskild, Elias.” Elias is talking into his radio. “I have 10-33 with the prince.” 10-33...Emergency. “10-4.” Emergency. What’s the emergency?

“I’m fine.” His voice is barely audible, shaking and cloudy with tears, but Elias must hear him.

“Shut up,” he says, but it’s not harsh. “I just...I’m sorry that I...I leaked the article because I thought it would get you into a tiny bit of trouble. I just...I didn’t know. I…” None of the words are making sense. He feels his legs give out as the pain makes everything but itself impossible to register. Someone catches him. “Go for Elias…” Again, he’s talking into his radio. “Negative, 10-18...Affirmative for medical attention...I’ll get clearance from the primaries and let you know.” 

He sees a pattern on the floor. The carpet outside his bedroom. There's a new voice. Eskild’s voice. Someone is touching his hands. Eskild is swearing softly as Isak starts to cry harder.

Next, he’s sitting against something soft and warm and the pain is getting worse and someone is telling him to “Breathe, Isak. Breathe.” 

There's something red soaking into something white. His bed sheets. 

“It hurts,” he mumbles, and Eskild sighs.

“What happened?” He doesn't know. His hands. Something with his hands.

“Nail polish?” He guesses.

“Jesus. Eskild, Elias, Eskild. Where’s the medic?” There’s crackling, then Eskild shouts. “Fuck!”

“What?” Why is Eskild yelling? Has he done something else to make him mad?

“They said no. No help. Your parents.”

“wha...why?” Is that the problem? Why is Eskild upset?

“I don’t know. I’m…” Eskild takes a deep breath. “I’m gonna do my best for tonight, ok? Then, tomorrow, I’ll figure out a way to get you to somebody who can fix this.”

This. This? The pain. He starts to close his eyes. All he can concentrate on is the throbbing. He’s shivering.

Eskild wraps his hands in something white that gets stained red. Every touch makes Isak whimper. He swallows a pill and lets Eskild lie an ice pack over the back of his left hand, and falls asleep wondering what Even will think. Even, with his movie about Isak’s perfect hands...what will he think? He hears something about shock, warmth, and sugar, but he’s too out of it to care. Everything hurts.

He wakes up to a hand on his shoulder. The first thing that registers is the pain - it’s overwhelming. It’s stifling. 

“Iss, hey, wake up.” Even’s voice. What is Even doing here? Even can’t see him like this.

“Go away, Ev.” It’s all he can manage. There’s a kiss on his forehead.

“Relax. Let me see.”

“No.” He hasn’t looked at his hands since the night before, but judging by the way they feel they’re less than perfect at the moment. Even doesn’t need to see that. Plus, he's tired. He's so tired, can't Even understand?

“Please. I just wanna help.” Isak shakes his head, feeling tears on his hot cheeks. Even wipes them carefully, his fingers gentle. “Eskild didn’t tell me much, I...I can’t do anything until you let me know what’s going on.”

“under the blanket,” he whispers and closes his eyes. He feels the comforter being pulled back and hears Even’s sharp breath.

“Isak…” There's concern and hurt and...love in Even’s voice“What happened?”

“I don’t...I -” his voice breaks off as Even touches the red gauze.

“We’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta...take you to the hospital or something, babe.” Isak shakes his head weakly and feels the room start to spin. The pain makes him dizzy. He tries to push himself up with his elbow but Even has to guide him most of the way until he’s upright. He can see more clearly now, think more clearly - how long has he been asleep.

“They’re not-” he swallows hard. “They’re not gonna let you do that.”

“Who?”

“My parents.”

“Why wouldn’t they want you to get help?” The thought draws a bitter laugh from Isak.

“They don’t want anyone to find out.”

“About your hands?” Even seems confused.

“Kind of. Not really,” Isak says evasively. Even narrows his eyes.

“Who did this, Isak?”

“No one.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Isak doesn’t speak, hoping his silence will let Even know what he can’t say out loud. After what seems like an eternity, Even nods. “Eskild wants me to take you back to Waeluryn for a little while. Is that...something you would want?”

“Mmhmm.” Isak isn’t sure if it’s a good idea but is Eskild suggested it so that must mean it’s decent. Even gives a sad little smile and presses another kiss to his forehead.

“Ok.”

The rest of his time at the castle passes in a blur. The pain is coming back, making the world cloudy again. He sees Magnus for a few minutes when he comes in with food and leaves wiping his eyes. Mahdi stops by with an envelope of money that Isak is pretty sure was just his own cash to begin with. Jonas comes with a suitcase of clothes and spends a solid 20 minutes talking to Eskild in the corner in hushed tones before walking over to Isak, ruffling his hair, and leaving. 

“We’re almost ready,” Even tells him. Even hasn’t left his side since he got there. He’s been whispering memories from their happy times together, trying to distract him. Clear the clouds. Tether him to the ground. “Remember when I drew all over your shoulders? With the ballpoint pen? And we were in this bed, right here, and we kissed and your smile was so pretty, baby.” Isak nods, letting out a shaking breath. “Remember when we took a shower? And the water was so warm, and I did that thing you like, and when we got out I had a hickey right here -” Even touches a spot by Isak’s jaw carefully, with two fingers. “And you made fun of me. Remember that, babe?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Shh, don’t cry.” Even kisses where the tears fall, and it’s only then Isak realizes he’s crying again. “You’re ok. Everything’s alright.” Eskild walks over.

“You need to go. Right now. We have a car waiting,” he says urgently. Even nods and turns back to Isak. 

“Hey, baby. I’m going to pick you up. We’re going to my house, remember? We can sit on the dock and we can put our feet in the water. I just need you to be quiet and calm for right now,” Even says slowly.

“Doctor first,” Eskild says, and Even nods.

“Right. Ready?” Isak nods and lets Even’s arms lift him up, so his head rests against the older boy’s chest, right next to his heart. Isak can hear it beating.

Even drives, and Isak curls in the passenger seat, slipping in and out of half-consciousness until they pull up to a large white building that Isak is fairly sure he’s seen before. Maybe when he was little. He has a memory he can’t quite place - his chest hurting, someone holding him like Even just had. 

When they’re inside, a doctor gives Even a prescription and cleans cuts on Isak’s hands before wrapping them up in ace bandages. He’s not sure how long they’re there before Even brings him back to the car and they’re driving again.

Even helps him swallow a pill in the parking lot of the drug store, and Isak falls asleep listening to Sufjan Stevens through the car stereo. 

He wakes up in the dark, street lights illuminating the interior of the dark car as they drive past. He must make a sound, because Even glances over at him, before focusing his attention back on the road.

“Hey, baby.” Isak wonders why Even has been calling him that lately. He must be worried. Are things that bad?

“Hey.”

“How’s your pain?”

“Ok,” Isak says, resisting the temptation to flex his hands. 

“That codeine knocked you out, huh?”

“Where are we?”

“10, 15 minutes from my house. My moms know you’re coming, they said they’d make up the couch for you to sleep on but I was thinking you’d just sleep with me?” Isak looks out the window, before shrugging. He honestly just feels sick. Even his favorite person seems like too much. “That’s alright. Whatever you wanna do is alright.”

As they keep driving, Isak starts to smell the ocean. It’s then he realizes that that is what Even smells like. The thing between the soap and the lemon that he can never place.

“Here we are,” Even finally says, pulling into a pebbled driveway. An outside light flickers on, and the door opens. Even hops out of the car quickly.

“EVVVEEENN!” A little blonde girl shrieks, running out of the house. He kneels down, wrapping her in a hug.

“Love, you should be asleep! Where are Mama and Mommy?” Isak watches him pick her up, and she hugs him tight.

“Inside. It’s school break.” Even sets her down, brushing her long hair behind her ear. “You have to braid my hair! Nobody is good at it but you.” 

“Just because you don’t have school doesn’t mean you don’t need to sleep.”

“Who is that?” She points at Isak and Even has only a moment of visible panic before he answers.

“My good friend. His name is Isak. This is Thea,” he says, gesturing for Isak to get out of the car. So, Isak does, but his legs are weaker than he anticipated, and Even rushes to catch him. 

“Like the prince?” Thea asks. “He’s staying with us?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t feel good, though, so we just need to be really nice and kind, ok?” She nods and runs back inside, her long hair flying behind her. 

The house is small - smaller than it should be to fit 5 people, Isak thinks. As they walk in, Isak can smell something cooking, and there’s a blonde woman setting plates on the table.

“Mom! Hi. You didn’t have to do this, we’re alright,” Even says. “It’s late.”

“Well, you said you two hadn’t eaten, so I figured it would be nice to have something here for you.” The woman looks up and smiles when she sees Isak. “Hi, Isak, I’m Anne, Even’s mother. We’re very happy to have you here. Obviously, it’s not as deluxe as a castle, but we like it.”

“It’s beautiful, I’m just happy I have somewhere to go.” She presses her lips into a line.

“Even hardly told us anything about your situation. I have to admit, I’m not a fan of your family’s...political affiliations, but -”

“Mom, relax,” Even says, and there's a possessive protection in his voice that Isak’s never heard before. Anne holds up her hands.

“I’m just being honest.”

“I’m not like my parents,” Isak says, tripping over his own words. “At all. I...I guess I’m complicit -”

“You’re not complicit, you’re abused,” Even almost snaps. Anne frowns.

“Woah. What’s happening?” Another woman says as she walks into the room, drying her hands off on a dishtowel. 

“Hi, Mama. I’m just...trying to explain.” Even’s tone is exasperated.

“It’s fine,” Isak whispers, but the older boy doesn’t acknowledge it.

“This is Bente. My wife,” Anne emphasizes. 

“So this is...Isak,” she says, distaste evident.

“He’s a good guy, ok? Would I be with him if he wasn’t a good guy?”

“I don’t know. You’re friends with that Chris boy and he seems like a right character,” Bente says frowning. 

“Chris isn't my boyfriend. Look, I know this is weird but I really like him so just...give him a break,” he says more quietly. 

“We’ll give him a chance then, won’t we?” Anne says looking at Bente and raising her eyebrows. 

“I still don’t understand why he has to stay with us. Not that we don't want you here, it's just a bit confusing.”

“Maybe I should just go, Ev,” Isak whispers, and the taller boy frowns.

“Let me tell them?,” Even whispers back, and Isak sighs, nodding. Even takes a deep breath and lowers his voice. “His parents beat him up and they weren't letting him see a doctor and we all got scared. His...brother...asked me to get him out. It's not safe for him to let anyone know where he is right now.”

“did you say he's your boyfriend?” Anne asks. Even nods. “ I know he doesn’t have a brother.”

“We...might want to talk in private,” Bente says to the other woman, who nods.

“Are you sure it’s ok that I’m here?” Isak asks, mostly to Even. He’s feeling a little better. The painkillers are definitely doing their job and if he is really still he can forget why he’s here entirely. “I could use some of Mahdi's cash and get a motel room or something.”

“No, you’re staying here. With me.” Even wraps his arm around Isak’s shoulders, kissing the side of his head. “No, he doesn’t have a brother. I meant that in more of a...they’re like family sense,” Even says, turning to his mothers.

“Well if you trust him, I’m sure we can give him the benefit of the doubt. For now,” Bente says, making eye contact with Isak. 

“Why don’t you two sit down, have some food, alright?” Suggests Anne, stepping aside to let Isak and Even cross in front of her. They sit at the worn wooden table, Even and Isak sitting on either side of a corner so they can talk quietly together and hold hands - well, Even touches Isak’s delicately - while they wait. 

“You didn’t need to do this,” Isak says after a few moments of silence have passed. He can tell that Anne and Bente are eavesdropping, but right now, he doesn’t care. His only concern is getting Even to not resent him. Even looks him in the eye.

“Of course I had to. I didn’t want to see you in pain. I...I really trust you. I want you to be able to rely on me,” he says earnestly. There's a fierceness in his voice that Isak is surprised by. 

“Thanks. I...I trust you too. I’m sorry, though.”

“Why are you sorry? Don’t be sorry.”

“I just...I really could have handled it myself. Not that I don’t appreciate the help, but I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“Isak, you were in so much pain you could barely move. Please.”

“Not the first time,” Isak mumbles before he really thinks through how Even will react. 

“What?” even doesn't sound angry, but almost sad.

“It’s just...I’ve dealt with this my whole life. I can handle it. I really appreciate this, though. I do.”

“What would’ve happened if I wasn’t there, Isak?” Before he has the chance to answer, the door from the kitchen opens.

Bente comes over to the table with a warm noodle dish that smells like seafood. 

“Eat up! Everything is fresh caught.” It looks wonderful, but Isak has no appetite. Even immediately digs in. 

“This is great Mama!” He says. He looks over at Isak who has yet to even pick up his fork, partially because his right hand - though not broken - is throbbing, but also because he's aggressively not hungry. “Try it. You’ll like it,” he says encouragingly. Isak tentatively takes a bite, and it is good, but he’s very nauseous. 

“It’s just leftovers from dinner, but I figured you two would want something. Is everything alright, Isak?” Bente asks. Isak nods.

“Yeah, I think the painkillers just made me nauseous.”

“Painkillers?”

“He broke some bones in his left hand,” Even says, looking over at Isak. Bente frowns, and Isak is suddenly sure that she’s thinking of the horrible rumors Elias spread about him. 

“They were broken,” Isak says, and Even looks startled for a second. Anytime someone had asked him up to this point he had said that he had been at fault and he had broken them. Now he was finally releasing so of that onto an unnamed entity. 

“Could we...maybe put your prescription in the medicine cabinet so that Thea doesn't get into it?” Bente asks, a little more gently. Isak nods. He has no clue where it went, but it must be around. 

The rest of the time at the table is spent in silence. Even eats and Isak picks at his food. He’s feeling overwhelmed and nothing is making as much sense as it did even hours before hand. After a few more minutes they move into the living room, with half made plans to watch a movie or something off of Even’s computer until they are able to fall asleep. Isak stops dead.

“Why is there a framed picture of me on your mantel?” 

“Is there?” Even says looking up. He sees it and raises an eyebrow. “Wasn’t there when I left,” he says shrugging. 

“That doesn’t really answer the question...and are those rhinestones on the frame?” Isak asks, fascinated. Even looks up.

“Ummmm...yeah. Looks like it.”

“Does this not...concern you?”

“It’s probably Sophia’s. She was talking to me on the phone about how she had fallen madly in love with some celebrity and couldn’t wait until I was home to talk about him.”

“I’m not…” Isak splutters. “I’m not [Ben Tyler Cook](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158554239047/ben-tyler-cook-modern-royalty-au-evak) or anything. Fans? What?” He says startled. Even tilts his head in confusion. 

Isak isn’t really sure why he has fans. He knows they exist - Instagram is crawling with them - but he’s not sure what exactly they admire him for. He doesn’t do much (anything) so the concept of somebody admiring him is a little tenuous.

“You know you have fans. You have stalkers, so you definitely fans,” Even says, and Isak rolls his eyes. “I’m your biggest fan, obviously.” Even kisses his cheek, and Isak feels himself blush. After a moment of quiet Even speaks up. “Do you wanna sleep in my bed? The couch isn’t really comfortable, and...I don’t know.” Isak nods. 

“Is it ok with your moms?” Isak asks. He’s already imposing on them. He doesn’t want to anger them more than necessary.

“It’s not their decision.”

“You’re their son. And this is their house.”

“It’s fine, trust me. This way, if you wake up or anything, I’ll be right there. Won’t that be nice?” Considering the amount of pain he’s in, he’ll probably be up most of the night, so the idea does sound nice, but the idea of Even’s moms being even more pissed off makes him nervous.

“Your parents won’t be mad?”

“No, I swear.”

Suddenly, there’s a small shriek from the doorway. When Isak looks up he sees another blonde girl - maybe 11 or 12 - standing there with her hands over her mouth in shock.

“Hey, kid,” Even says, and she lets out another little squeal.

“Is that Isak?!” She finally asks, and Even sighs.

“Yeah, hi,” Isak says, too aware of how weak his voice sounds.

“T...the...Prince. Isak!?” He nods, and she jumps up. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew the prince, asshole?!” Her question is directed at Even, who looks irritated. His careful plan - at least, in Isak’s impression - to let his boyfriend have a stress-free break from the real world, is falling apart at the seams. 

“Language, Sophia!” he says, exasperated.

“Sophie said a bad word!” Thea taunts running into the room and attaching to Even’s legs. “Even!”

“Hey, love, you’re supposed to be in bed. Didn’t Mama already put you to bed? Twice?”

“Bed is boring…” she draws out the last word. 

“You need sleep so you can grow up big and strong like your brother,” Isak jumps in.

“This is adorable,” Sophia squeals. 

“Why are you at my house?” Thea asks. “Why are you staying?”

“Ummm…” Isak starts looking up at Sophia. “You know how I’m a prince, right?” Thea nods solemnly. “Well...princes and princesses have to go on quests to learn how to lead their country.”

“What was your quest?” She asks.

“I had to fight a dragon. It wasn’t a nice dragon. It had decided to be mean. Even was there with me to prove to the King that I had managed to fight the dragon.”

“With his camera!”

“Yep! And the dragon knew that Even was my friend so it tried to hurt him. I jumped in the way of its tail. I’m here so my hands can heal before I fight the dragon again,” Isak finishes with a smile at Even.

“I could’ve managed without your help, Iss,” Even teases. “I’m strong. And you ruined your pretty hands.” 

“But I couldn’t have managed without you,” Isak teases back, and Even smiles.

“So Even is your princess?” Thea asks, and Even bursts out laughing.

“Nope. Even is my prince. Princes can love princes. Princesses can love princesses.They can also not chose a prince, princess, or person at all.”

“I know that, dummy, but in the story, it’s always prince and princess. That’s how it goes in the _story._ ”

“This story is special.” Isak looks up and notices Anne and Bente standing in the doorway behind Sophia, smiling. He realizes that this must be one of the first time in their lives that a member of the royal family has actual recognized who they are and understood.

“Time to sleep, babies,” Anne says, and walks over to the couch, picking up Thea. She waves a hand at Sophia, who leaves with a nervous smile in Isak’s direction.

\---

“That boy has not eaten more than a bite since he got here. Now you go and make sure he actually gets nutrition. I don’t want to see you making out on the couch again until I have seen him eating all of the food groups.” Isak's been at the house for two days now. He'd woken up to an empty bed. He overhears a conversation between Anne and Even going on in the kitchen.

“I’ve been trying my best. He just gets like this sometimes. I don’t think the medicine is helping.” It’s odd to hear Even talking about him like this. Isak gets like this? No, he doesn’t. There’s nothing wrong with him. He is just fine.

“He still hasn’t told me how he hurt his hand. It looks terrible, Even.” There, he has to agree. The bruises have only gotten worse over the past few days.

“It was the dragon, obviously,” Even tries to joke before responding more seriously. “I know.” There’s a pause. “His mother crushed it, that’s...what I know.”

“Why?”

“If I knew I’d tell you.”

“How long has this gone on? Why-Why isn’t this some major story?! It’s barbaric!”

“He hasn’t told anybody. I think it’s me and his friend Eskild I mentioned before.” Anne sighs audibly.

“Find out if there’s something he likes for dinner or at least prefers. He’s been very sweet to us, and to you, and if there’s some way I can get him to eat -”

“Mom, it’s alright.”

“How could somebody treat their son that way? It’s disgusting.” Isak tunes out. He doesn’t want to hear any more of their speculation and pity.

A few minutes later, Even walks back into the bedroom, surprised when he sees Isak sitting up, awake.

“Hey, sleepy,” he teases, and Isak has to smile. Even’s bedroom is tiny, but just as...him as him dorm room. He has photos of his family, drawings, and even an old kite hung up over all of his walls. He sits down next to Isak, kissing him quickly on the cheek. “How do you feel?”

“I’m fine,” Isak says, pulling the covers around him more tightly. 

“Hungry?”

“Not really.”

“If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?”

“Your ass. No, I’m kidding. Uh...I’m ok. Really.” Even sighs, his smile falling.

“You have to eat.”

“Dick?” He tries again. Even frowns. 

“This isn’t a joke, I’m serious. I’m worried.”

“I’m fine. I’m not hungry. I ate just fine last night,” Isak hopes Even won’t call him out. Even calls him out. 

“Nope,” Even shuts his protests down. “Do you want oatmeal? We also have eggs and toast.”

“Ev, I’m really nauseous, ok? I don’t want anything. Please, just leave it.”

“We could play confessions instead. I’ll go first,” Even says.

“No! No! I don’t like this game. I’ll eat. But don’t be mad if I throw up in your bed.”

“I had a really good one too…” Even says trailing off. 

“You could just tell me,” Isak says.

“I think you’re really pretty,” Even says with mock shyness. 

“I think you’re really pretty too,” Isak teases back.

“That wasn’t really my confession. I just wanted you to know that. I was going to say I have no clue who Ben Tyler Cook is or why he should have fans.”

“Look him up,” Isak says smiling. “I made a promise in desperation that it looks like I’ll have to keep,” he finishes, his smile tightening slightly.

“Just a little, so I’m not so worried, ok?”

“Fine,” Isak says shortly. Even smiles and rushes off to make food. He sighs and relaxes back into the bed. Even’s probably right. He might need food. This will make Even happy. 

He scrolls through his (fake) Instagram feed. He’s only following 8 people and he’s currently with one of them, so there isn’t much interesting. [Vilde’s posted](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158553819312/modern-royalty-au) something, [along with Eva](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158553426877/modern-royalty-au). He clicks the search bar. This is always a bad idea, he thinks, before taking the plunge. _Prince Isak_ he carefully types. His account pops up and he clicks over into the hashtags. Immediately he regrets it. There are a few edits of him, punk and pastel and the like, but the rest of the images are all pictures of him with Emma. He scrolls for a few seconds. There’s a screenshotted chunk of text. 

_Isak is such a bad roll model for teens! Can you believe that he actually has right to be in the public eye? Just look at him. He’s a horrible excuse for a human. He’s a womanizer and a-_ He stops reading. It’s the same old stuff. He continues on. There’s a cute piece of [fanart](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158554833047/isak-aka-soft-scarf-prince-you-can-buy-it-here) that he likes. He’s just about to put his phone away when he sees another text post. He clicks on it.

_He hates the LGBT+ community. He helps his parents fight against our rights. He doesn’t have our support. I can’t believe I thought he was cute._ Isak frowns and scrolls through the comments on that one.  
_I know! I used to stan him when he wasn’t saying such problematic things. #ashamed_ _he was one of my problematic faves, but what he’s been saying lately is inexcusable._  
_too bad. he’s cute._

What has he been saying? He hasn’t talked to the press at all recently. He quickly searches his name. A recent press release pops up. 

 

_“...though it has long been rumored, it has just been confirmed that the royal family is staunchly opposed to the ‘sinful’ homosexuals. When approached, Prince Isak was very clear. ‘People who engage in such acts and thoughts are wrong. For example, males who wear nail polish are an abomination. There are no excuses for any behavior like that. It is disgusting and people who chose to partake in such actions are not human…’_ The sob rips out of him before he can stifle it. He can’t take this.

 

Even comes back into the room. The tears are still evident on Isak’s face. He feels like the only thing he’s been doing recently is crying. Even stops and puts down the cup of tea and piece of toast. 

“Hey, hey, what is it? You’re hurting?” He’s immediately in care-taking mode again, and it makes Isak feel guilty. His hand is on Isak’s cheek, his eyes searching frantically for something wrong.

“No, it’s ok. What kind of tea is that?” Isak swipes at his cheeks with the back of his hand and instantly regrets the pressure on his swollen knuckles. Even doesn’t press him for more information, but the look of concern doesn’t leave his face.

“Blueberry. You promise you’re not in pain? I could get you some ice or -”

“Just checked the news. I’m...I’m ok. I just. I should have expected this really. I just thought that maybe they were done fucking with me. I...I’ve indirectly hurt a bunch of people.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Just pass me the toast. I’ll be fine,” Isak finishes, wiping away the last of his tears.

Even does, but the tense look doesn’t fade. Isak struggles to hold the bread. 

“It’s good,” he manages. It is good. It’s pan-fried and tastes rich without making him feel sick. “You can cook.” Even smiles. 

 

“Anything for the man of my life,” he says with a cheesy wink. 

“Oh my God. Stop,” Isak says, rolling his eyes. They’re quiet for a little while. 

“I was wondering...only if it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable,” Even rushes to reassure. Isak tilts his head in confusion and Even continues. “I was wondering if I could work on your film a little bit more?” He asks. Isak tenses for a second. That would mean that people would see his hands. Even if they didn’t know whose hands they were, they would still see them. This private, secret piece of him. “It’s fine. I don’t have to. What do you want to do?” Even is quick to steer the conversation away from the film, but Isak isn’t so sure. 

“I...I’m ok with it, I think,” Isak says. He pauses to evaluate again. This could be cool. He really likes Even’s films. Maybe something good could come out of something so terrible. Maybe Even could turn the dark into the light. “Yeah. Definitely. A solid 100 percent yes to filming.” 

“Are you sure?” Even asks. 

“Yes. Very sure,” Isak says holding out his bandaged hands. “Go for it.”

Even takes his camera off the bedside table and starts to film. Oddly, it doesn’t seem any different from before. The only things that’ve changed are the subjects. 

“People are gonna see this?” Isak asks quietly. The thought doesn’t make him uncomfortable, but the idea that this secret he’s carried his entire life could be...exposed is novel. Even if it’s not obvious that they’re his hands, he’ll know.

“I don’t know. I hope one day. I...I want everybody to see it. Feel it. How I feel about you, you know? This is the only way I know how to do that.”

“How do you feel?” Isak has to focus on taking steady breaths.

“I don’t know if there’s a word. It’s good. It’s warm. It’s like being home wherever I am.” Even’s voice is soft and vulnerable and tentative - something Isak very rarely hears.

“Shut up, that’s not true.” Because that can’t be true, can it?

“Yes!” 

“I...I might get that too,” Isak admits quietly. Even must think he’s just saying it to be polite because he blushes.

“Just because it’s how I feel doesn’t mean you have to feel the same. I’m...helpless at this point.” Even smiles and Isak realized he’s embarrassed. “You’ve got me. I’m...totally whipped.” 

“That’s such bullshit. You’re the most confident person...ever.”

“Well, you broke me.” Even’s lips are on his, and Isak can taste the traces of sugar that were in the older boy’s tea. For a moment, he lets himself sit there, eyes closed, and concentrate on the feeling of Even’s skin on his.

“Being with you is like being wrapped in a blanket. Or...I don’t know. I’m not good at words,” he whispers and Even smiles.

“You’re great at words. Usually. I like that about you.”

“What else do you like?” Isak asks, teasing. Even kisses him quickly again, on the cheek.

“Everything.” That makes his heart stop.

“That’s insane.” It is, isn’t it? He takes a breath. “I’m...I’m not good enough for you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Even asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Even, you’re -”

“Listen, you’re better than good. You’re the best. And I don’t want an argument because it’s true. And the fact you can’t see it doesn’t make it any less true.” The words make Isak sad because he knows that even if Even thinks that, it won’t ever be true. It’s not an issue of Isak’s self-esteem, at least in his opinion, it’s just an objective fact. He’s fake. His whole life is fake. Whatever Even sees...it’s not really there.

They finish shooting, and Even quickly downloads the footage so he can show Isak some of the stills. 

“What about [this one](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/day/2017/3/19)?” Even asks glancing at Isak out of the corner of his eye. He’s enthralled. He can see why everyone has been concerned about him. His hands look...awful. “Or this?” Even asks when Isak doesn’t answer. 

“Ummm...yeah. They just look...they look more broken than I thought,” Isak says. 

“Yeah. We’re all pretty worried,” Even says carefully. 

“I...Thanks. For everything,” Isak says. Even nods. They’re silent for a moment and Even traces small circles on Isak’s back with his fingertips. 

“I was thinking that we could FaceTime Eva and Vilde and see how they are?” he tests, continuing the gentle ministrations. 

“Ok,” Isak agrees easily. Eva can almost always make him feel a bit better. Even grabs his laptop again and calls Eva. She picks up immediately.

“Even, I’ve been -” She cuts herself off when she sees both of them. “Isak! Where are you? Are you ok?” 

“I’m fine, Eva. Even’s helping me out.” She appears relieved, but still tense.

“Do...you want to talk about it?” She asks.

“Not right now. In person?” Isak suggests. He would rather not, but he knows that Eva probably deserves to know the truth, especially if she might be ambushed with horrible made-up stories about why he actually isn’t around the castle anymore.

“Uh, Even’s house? That’s Waeluryn, yeah?” Isak nods. “We’ll drop by tomorrow,” she says.

“I’ll text you,” Even says, and Eva smiles appreciatively.

“Is there anything I should know? For now?” Isak knows that she’s trying to pry, but he’s already shut that down for now. He goes for a more benign route.

“Oh, right! Apparently, Even’s sister, Sophia, is a fan.”

“You? Fans? You aren’t [Joshua Burrage](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158554241747/joshua-burrage-modern-royalty-au-evak).” 

“That’s what I said.”

“Who? Hi, Isak. Even.” Vilde asks, popping into the frame.

“Go look him up,” Isak and Eva reply in unison. They laugh at their unintended synchronization. Even smiles, just slightly, and brushes a few strands of hair behind Isak’s ear. Eva seems to notice because something changes in her expression. 

“Thank you, Even,” she says, though Isak isn’t exactly sure what she’s thanking him for. Still, Even seems to understand, giving an easy smile.

“My pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!
> 
> PSA: You should totally look up Ben Cook and Josh Burrage because they are amazing dancers and really adorable humans.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok...so this is late. Sorry. We hope you like it, tho.
> 
> Question for the comments: What's your favorite episode of season 3? 
> 
> CHECK THE BLOG! We made a gift! There are also some posts not linked in this chapter:)

Over the next few days, Even’s parents warm up considerably. Eva and Vilde drop by the next day and never seem to leave. 

So the days are filled with foggy breakfasts out on the dock, Even playing songs on his guitar, and lazy fingers in each others hair. By the end of the first week, Isak’s hands are feeling much better and he feels like he knows Waeluryn inside and out from the intimate tours Even’s given him.

They’ve been to all his favorite places - an ice cream shop that makes more than 30 flavors, a souvenir stall by the tourist area of the beach, an old gazebo in the middle of the town’s overgrown park. 

Nobody’s recognized them so far, partly because of how outwardly affectionate they’ve been - the news of Isak’s “homophobia” is now almost common knowledge - and partly because of the location. Waeluryn, even the most touristy parts, in no way reflects somewhere royalty usually frequents. 

They’re currently lying out on the sunny beach on the other side of the narrow peninsula. It takes about 30 minutes to drive there, and they've taken advantage of the short distance almost every day since Eva and Vilde checked into their hotel on that side of Waeluryn. 

“Vilde! Are you vlogging this? Relax. Baaabbbyyyy!” Eva calls out when she sees Vilde walking away along the beach talking to her camera. “Come back!”

“One second! I need to catch this gull!” Vilde shouts back, pointing her camera at the sky. 

“Ughhh. She never stops working,” Eva moans, leaning back on her hands. “I love her. It’s adorable.” 

Isak is half asleep, lying with his head on Even’s chest, soaking in the warmth of the sun while Even’s fingers move through his hair.

“Vilde!” Even calls, and she turns around with her camera, waving. His body shifts and Isak grumbles. “What, you don’t want me to get up?”

“He’s like a cat, I swear to god,” Eva says, and Isak lets out a soft huff. He’s grown so used to being close to Even - almost every moment is spent in contact with each other. He’s been wearing Even’s sweatshirts, sleeping in his bed. It’s not just that, either. Even is...protecting him. Not in big ways, but small gestures and looks and touches.

“We should go somewhere or something. Get food. I don’t know,” Eva says absently, her eyes locked on Vilde.

“That sounds nice,” Even says. “Iss?”

“Ummm...I don’t know. What if someone recognizes us?” He asks, even though he knows it’s unlikely at this point. Really, if he’s going to go out to eat he’d rather go with just Even.

“No one’s come for you yet,” Even says, and Eva tilts her head. 

“Why is that? Do you know?” She asks.

“I really don’t know. They don’t need me yet? They don’t care? Maybe my father is trying to give me some time away. That’s what’s always happened before when it got really out of control,” Isak says, not moving from his place on Even’s chest. The sun feels so nice on his face.

“Before?” Even asks. Isak tenses slightly. He knows that Even is aware there’ve been other instances of this degree, but actually explaining isn’t something he wants to do.

“Yeah. Just like...when I broke up with Sara. A few times before that, I don’t know.” Even has the tense look of concern and hurt on his face, but doesn’t press him for more information, just holds him a little tighter.

Vilde is back, with her camera. Eva waves, smiling, and Vilde gives Even a questioning look before swinging the camera to face them too.

“Say hello!” She coos and Isak doesn’t even have to force a smile - hers is so infectious.

“Heyyy!” Even singsongs, pulling a face, and when Isak sees him he starts to laugh.

“You’re such a nerd! Oh my god! Can you believe it?” He asks the camera and Even pouts. Isak covers the older boy’s face with his hand. “Now that he can’t hear me,” he says, and Even blurts out a laugh. “He’s pretty awesome. That’s a secret, though.”

“And you think I’m lame? Christ, you’re so unoriginal.”

“Not everyone can be a perfect as Vilde, babe. It’s fine,” Isak says. The endearment slips out. Hopefully people won’t analyze it too much on the off chance it’s put into the final edit of whatever Vilde is working on.

“This is Isak and Even, and they are very fun and interesting as you can see. Even makes films, I’ll link his profile in the description, they’re really good. They’re so good, right Isak?” 

“Even is my _friend_ ,” he emphasizes for no real reason. “Of course I think his videos are great.” He tries to add something that will make his ‘no homo’ statement less blatant.

“Yeah, we’re friends. We’re good friends,” Even says, smiling.

“So good! But like, friends,” Isak repeats. Even laughs.

“Of course.”

\--

“This is the best taco place?” Eva asks, skeptical, and Even laughs. They’ve been walking down one of the streets off of the main tourist area for a few minutes, searching for some place only Even really knows the name of. It’s a hole in the wall but smells incredible from the street.

“It’s the only taco place,” Even clarifies

“There is no way that’s true,” Eva says, shaking her head, and Even raises his eyebrows.

“They’re probably fish tacos, yeah?” Vilde asks, and Isak laughs. “What?” She frowns. “There’s a lot of seafood here, I don’t know.”

“Fish tacos?” Isak asks, but only Even smirks in understanding, rolling his eyes. “You know? It’s like a…” he trails off. “Never mind.”

“It’s a vagina,” Even says matter of factly, and Eva shoves him.

“That’s disgusting!” She practically shouts and Even laughs.

“Isak’s the one who brought it up,” he says.

“Yeah well he’s too polite to just blurt out genitalia in the middle of the street,” Eva snaps, only half serious. Vilde is giggling. 

“You two are fun together. You should be friends,” she says, and Eva groans exaggeratedly. Even scoffs, mock upset.

“Scorn my friendship? Really?” He stops walking, and steps around Eva, draping an arm over Vilde. “She’s officially my favorite. All of you can leave.” 

“Isak you are so lucky, he is so funny!” she says, her nose crinkling up the way it does when she’s really happy.

“Let’s eat. It’s right over here.” He points lazily and gives Vilde’s shoulders a quick squeeze before letting her go, jogging toward the flashing neon green sign. “I like your friends, babe,” he whispers when Isak catches up.

“They’re your friends too at this point. We’ve seen them, like, every day.” They fall in step with each other.

“That’s true. I meant to ask you, do you know a Noora?” The question takes Isak by surprise.

“Noora Sætre?”

“Yeah. I know her from school, she mentioned she was close with a guy who worked at the castle. Well, we were talking about toilets -”

“Toilets?”

“Yeah, like, ‘what’s the fanciest toilet you’ve ever used?’ It’s small talk,” Even says as if this makes perfect sense.

“That is not small talk.”

“Fuck you, of course it is. Well, she said she took a piss at the castle, so that then led to a more detailed conversation, and I made a mental note to ask you if you knew her since she pisses in your house and stuff.” Isak nods.

“She’s friends with Eskild.”

“We’re in like, three or four classes together. Pretty good friends.”

“Huh. Small world. Let’s invite her,” Eva says, and it’s only then Isak remembers they’re not alone.

“Not a bad idea. I need a party,” Vilde says.

“I don’t know,” Isak mumbles, and Even seems to pick up on his hesitance. 

“It’s chill. I’ll see if she wants to get coffee or something. She’s probably busy, though. With work,” Even says, clearly trying to shift the conversation. 

“I can get Sana and Chris to come as well! Isak! You should ask some of your friends,” Vilde says, more excited.

Isak takes a deep breath and Even puts a hand on his shoulder. What friends? Jonas and Magnus would be working, so they were out, but did they count in the first place? Eskild is probably enjoying the time off if Isak is really honest with himself.

“Iss hasn’t been feeling so great, so maybe we just wanna take it slow for now,” Even says carefully, and Eva frowns. 

“As someone who knows Isak a little bit better than you, I was thinking it would help him a lot to have people around instead of isolating himself,” she says, and there’s an edge to her voice. It’s only now occurring to Isak that Eva might feel her role as “best friend and cuddle provider to the prince” has been usurped and she’s not ready to give it up. That gives him pause. Is he replacing Eva? He doesn’t think so but granted, Eva isn’t the first person Isak wants to talk to after a panic attack anymore. Now, that person is Even.

“It’s fine, guys, let’s just go inside,” he says, and Even nods.

“Can’t keep those fish tacos waiting, right?” he quips, and it draws a smile from the younger boy.

“We can have a party another time!” Vilde says, seemingly unaware of the tension.

“Sure,” Isak agrees easily. He doesn’t need to specify that the time frame of when such a party would be (very far in the future). 

They walk inside, and immediately, the host, a tall, dark-haired boy, rushes over to them, wrapping Even in a tight hug. Isak takes a few steps back.

“Even! You didn’t tell me you were home!” He says and Even hugs him back enthusiastically.

“Hey!” he says, and pulls back, beaming. “Guys, this is my best friend Mikael.”

Then, Isak feels something break inside his chest. He knows it’s stupid - it’s so so stupid - but hearing that Even too has someone - a best friend - who’s more important in his life makes him want to cry. 

“Hi, nice to meet you all,” Mikael says, his hand still resting on Even’s shoulder.

“This is Vilde, Eva, and…” Even trails off, glancing over to see Isak’s reaction. He nods and Even continues. “My boyfriend Isak.”

“Oh, Isak like the prince? You spell it that way?” Mikael asks, clearly not recognizing him.

“That’s him.” 

“Nice joke mate.”

“No, for real.” Mikael takes a moment before the news truly hits him. 

“Oh...ok. Ok. Uh, it’s great to meet you,” he says and grabs Isak’s hand to shake it. Mikael’s grip is strong, and the still healing bruises give a jolt of pain. Isak chokes, and Mikael looks startled. Isak’s eyes begin to water and Even jumps in.

“Sorry, he hurt his hand, I guess I should’ve...It’s ok.” Even looks slightly embarrassed and wraps an arm around Isak’s shoulders before turning back to his friend. “We’re gonna have tacos.”

“Fish tacos!” Vilde pipes up and then blushes. Eva laughs. Mikael looks unfazed.

“Yeah, we have those. C’mon, I’ll give you guys the good table.” There are only about four tables and they all look equal in Isak’s eyes, but there must be something significantly better about the one they’re led to because Even gives a little cheer when he sees it empty. “Does Sonja know you’re home? She’s been nagging me to get you to text her.”

“Really? That bad?”

“She calls me at least once a day. She texts a lot. Now that she’s on Snapchat as well...game over.”

Isak watches the way Even looks at Mikael. He wonders if it’s any different than the way Even looks at him. The words are still ringing in his ears. Best friend. What had Even said when he was introducing Isak? Boyfriend. Is that closer than best friend? He doesn’t know.

“Isak?” Even asks expectantly. Shit. 

“Sorry, what?”

“You know what you want?” Isak shakes his head. “Uh, that’s alright. You like steak, right?”

“Uh, I’m not that hungry. I think I’ll just...have some water or something.”

“Seriously?” Even asks, sounding almost upset. Immediately, Isak recoils and Even looks apologetic. “You haven’t eaten all day.”

“I...will send over a waitress when you guys are ready,” Mikael says, turning and leaving with one last look at Even.

“He was so uncomfortable. Oh my God,” Eva says as Mikael disappears behind the corner. Even grimaces. 

“I mean...It’s a little hard to reconcile what you see or hear from the press every day to Isak, right?” He says. Isak raises an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have put him in an uncomfortable position mediating between me and my overbearing ex-girlfriend. He’s a little pissed at...well both of us, I think.” 

“I’m sorry, I just -” Isak starts, but Even stops him.

“No, Mikael just makes me nervous. You’re fine. You don’t have to eat, it’s ok.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.”

The moment of tension is gone as quickly as it came, but the seed of doubt is planted in Isak’s mind.

\---

They walk home, Isak’s right hand held lightly in Even’s.

Even is pointing out constellations, whispering the names. The lights are too bright in the city to see very much, and Isak is stunned at the sheer amount of stars in the sky. He knew they were there, in theory, but to see them...that was something else.

“I’m sorry I’m so...much,” he says, and Even stops. The older boy frowns and turns to face him.

“What do you mean?” Isak swallows hard, looking up at the sky. He tries to connect the same shapes Even had just minutes ago, but he’s lost before he can begin.

“I feel like...you have to take care of me all the time, and that’s not...It’s not what you signed up for. And I know you say it doesn’t bother you but back at the restaurant -”

“Babe-”

“I don’t wanna be a downer, or...annoying, or something.”

“Isak, you know me, right?” Even asks, and Isak nods, though he’s not sure where the conversation is headed. “Would I ever do something I didn’t want to?” Isak looks down at their intertwined hands. “I...I could say so many things, but I don’t know if I can ever convince you how much you mean to me. I’m not good at that. You just have to trust me. I know you trust me, just trust me on this.”

Isak wants so badly to just be able to trust him, not worry that he’s too needy or too clingy, but it’s so hard. Even is so perfect, so lovely, that Isak is so terrified he’s going to do something wrong and Even is going to leave. 

“What’s your favorite?” Isak asks but Even doesn’t seem to understand the question. Isak clarifies. “Your favorite constellation.”

“Oh, Andromeda.” Isak racks his brain to remember if that was one that Even had pointed out before, but he can’t remember. “The story makes me think of you, now that I’m remembering.”

“The story?”

“Yeah, the myth. Behind the name. There was a queen who was...not so nice and to appease the gods she tied her daughter Andromeda to a rock in the middle of the sea as an offering because Andromeda was so beautiful and so sweet. And Andromeda thought she was going to die until Perseus came along and saved her. And they fell in love.” Even kisses his cheek softly.

“So you’re Perseus? That’s a little self-righteous of you,” Isak teases and Even smirks.

“Yeah, I’m Perseus.”

“So where is it?” Isak asks, looking up.

“Oh, it’s only out during September and October, so, nowhere.”

“But aren’t stars out all the time?”

“Yeah, but the earth turns and makes different ones visible at different times.”

“Why’d you tell me that story then? A lot of set up for nothing.”

“Fuck you,” Even says, and kisses him deeply. Isak laughs against his mouth, and Even grabs part of his shirt, pulling him closer. The air is cold, but the space between them is so warm.

\---

“Isak,” Vilde’s shaky voice can be heard from the entire length of the dock. He has his head resting on Even’s shoulder and their feet hang off the side of the dock, tracing patterns in the air as though their feet are trailing in the luke-warm high tide water that will come in 6 hours. He doesn’t want any of these moments to end. He wants to sit close with Even and their imaginary solitude forever. The urgency in Vilde’s voice makes him doubt that will be possible. 

“Vilde?” Even asks, beating Isak to the question they don’t want to hear the answer of. 

“We have...a bit of an issue. A rather large problem. I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Vilde babbles, holding out her iPad with a digital copy of [Eighteen Magazine](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/158913226222/modern-royalty-au) pulled up. Even takes it first. Isak is frozen in fear and shock. Whatever the magazine says, for Vilde’s reaction to be so strong, it can’t be good. 

“Oh,” Is all that Even says before he passes the screen to Isak. Isak accepts it reluctantly, squinting his eyes as though that will somehow protect him from the harsh reality of the article he’s about to see. He breathes out in a sigh. It isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. It _is_ really bad but not _that_ bad. He hasn’t been outed for a start, which, considering his luck, was what he was thinking had happened from Vilde’s voice. 

**Mysterious Hottie seen on Double date with Vilde, Eva, and Prince Isak!**

As headlines concerning Isak’s personal life go, it isn’t the worst he’s seen. Then it hits him. Even. The “Mysterious Hottie” is Even. Even is no longer a secret. The world will know he knows Even. If the world knows that he knows Even, then his parents will know about Even. In a few hours, Even will be the talk of every media source in every country remotely connected to Baewyth. Even’s life will change because of Isak’s fuck up. The King and Queen will not allow Isak to continue his...friendship...with Even, and all of these moments that Isak has built up in the past week or so with Even will only be that: unrepeatable moments in his mind. 

**Is Prince Isak cheating on Princess Emma? Find out on Page 4.**

He passes it back with a sigh. If only he was cheating on Emma with Vilde or Eva, his life would be so much easier. 

“Aren’t you more worried?” Vilde asks, and Isak shrugs.

“Normal stuff. Saying I’m dating Eva. I mean, I don’t like that Ev has to get dragged into it, but-” Vilde frowns.

“No, they said double date. I’m with Eva.”

“Ahhhhh,” Even cuts in. “But you’re...what’s the term…‘gal pals.’” The air quotes are heavily implied. 

“There aren’t lesbian couples in the media right now Vilde. Not with the things the crown has been saying about the queer community,” Eva says, approaching slowly from the house. Isak can hear the potential tears in Eva’s voice. He reaches up for Vilde’s hand and gives it a squeeze. 

“Isak’s gay, why doesn’t he say something?” she asks, and Even looks up at her.

“I’m trying. It’s complicated, V,” Isak says, but she rips her hand out of his.

“It’s not complicated!” She snaps.

“Vilde, stop it,” Eva says, and she whirls around.

“No! This is stupid, he’s not doing anything. They’re out there saying this shit about us and he’s not doing anything.” Isak takes a deep breath and makes himself speak.

“My parents aren’t good to me, ok? I’m afraid to say anything because they’ll hurt me, and I...I know it’s selfish but I won’t get choked by my mother for saying something that won’t change anything anyway. This,” he holds out his left hand, “is just because I was wearing nail polish. I don’t even want to know what they’d do if I said something against their political agenda.”

“Your parents did that?” Vilde whispers after a few beats of silence. 

“Yeah.”

“Oh. I was…” 

“You were what?” Isak asks. He knows it’s sort of irrational to be as pissed off as he is. Vilde doesn’t know any better. If he had only known media-Isak, he’d be angry too. 

“I was wondering why you were so different from what I had seen in the magazines. I…I’m sorry I judged.”

\---

_Check out my new video! You and Even are very cute :) - Vilde_

The intro starts. It’s a cute, vaguely pink filtered video of Vilde twirling, dropping glitter on the floor around her. The title card. Then, the beach. The gull that kept flying too close. Eva. Lots of Eva. Them holding hands and twirling in the sand. Them running into the water. Vilde’s flawlessly painted toes squishing the wet sand. 

It’s a lovely montage. Vilde is very good at her job.

About 2 minutes in it switches from the beach day montage to a dinner. For the first time, Isak is on the screen, sitting too close to Even and not caring one bit. He remembers this. It’s weird to see himself as outsiders do. It's even weirder to see himself looking so happy. Eva is telling some long-winded joke that she keeps messing up. Even is sitting engrossed but every time Eva messes up, Isak on the screen just starts laughing harder. Finally, Vilde turns and says, ‘do you mind?’ in a bizarre voice, and they’re all silent for about 5 seconds before they fall out of their chairs with raucous laughter. 

Isak smiles. It's as though Vilde has created a highlight reel of some of his favorite memories, of this week, yes, but also of his life.

The video isn’t quite over yet. It has some footage of Eva making up songs in the car as they went over to Even’s house one morning. It has a misty sunrise they spent on the dock after Vilde and Eva had crashed at Even’s for the night. It has the bright morning on the beach the day they got tacos, with - Isak sees, blushing - a little extreme cuddling on Even and his part. It has a bonfire and tree climbing, an ill-fated kayaking trip that Isak had only heard about in bits and pieces from Vilde, as Eva didn’t want it discussed around her. 

The last scene is something he didn’t even know happened. He’s asleep curled on the mattress they’d dragged from Even’s room for their sleepover. The other three are sitting scattered around the room. It’s really cute and...domestic. Even moves over and readjusts the covers over him. Eva and Vilde talk about what a great week they’ve had. The entire time, Eva is playing with his hair. Vilde gives him a pat on the back at one point after he (hiccups?) in his sleep. Even is always right beside him and always smiling fondly. 

Isak might just love that boy. 

He scrolls through the comments. 

_why is Vilde hanging out with the Prince?_

_Is that the prince?_

_why is she with that asshole?_

_are they dating?_

_I LOVE EVA!_

_Who is that? Even?_

_why are her friends so hot?_

_is he gay? I hope he’s gay_

_Wow. The prince looks so cuddly_

\---

“It’s Linn!” Even calls when he turns Isak’s phone over on the counter. They are in the last stages of perfecting their experimental cookie recipe, which Isak is pretty sure was more of an excuse to each large quantities of chocolate than anything else. He’s in the process of piling on the second layer of chocolate chips (to be added after one baking) and was uninterested in answering his phone. 

“So?” He asks, rather rudely. 

“It’s Linn. She deserves some attention, right? She’ll get in trouble for what we did, right?”Even asks. Isak wishes that Even wasn’t so reasonable and such a good person. He’s so understanding and Isak...doesn’t want to be right now. Right now is his Even and cookies time. Not his “freak out about the state of his fictional relationship with Emma and his awful relationship with his parents” time.

But, he sighs, taking the phone.

“Hello,” Isak says tersely. 

“I thought the point of you going on a vacation was to keep you out of the public eye,” Linn says.

“Sorry,” Isak says, not sounding sorry at all. 

“You don’t have an excuse?”

“No, you’re right,” Isak sighs. “Maybe I should have stayed in my room in the castle and allowed my parents to beat the shit out of me.” Linn is silent for a second. 

“What?” She asks.

“Did they not tell you why I’m away? Have you talked to Eskild?” 

“No, what were you referring to, Isak?”

“Oh, having the shit beaten out of me?” He says flippantly. Even glances over at him in concern. He shakes his head minutely. He’s fine. 

“Yes. That is a serious accusation to make,” Linn tries to explain. 

“Yeah well, the situation is pretty fucking serious.” Isak takes a heavy breath. 

“Are you done with the chocolate chips, pretty prince?” Even asks. Isak nods. “I can make some tea if you want.”

“Who was that? Isak. What is going on?” Linn cuts in.

“That’s not important. What’s important is that you listen to what I’m saying. I don’t want to come home. Not until someone can promise me I’m not getting assaulted.”

“Where is this coming from? When did this start?”

“Just...talk to Eskild, ok? Then call me back. Bye.” He hangs up without waiting for her response.

“Whoa. Angry Isak,” Even says, handing him an empty mug. He walks to the cabinet that holds the family’s literal hundreds of tea bags, moving tins around. “You want blueberry or oolong?”

“Don’t you have Earl Grey?” Even scoffs.

“Yeah, but I didn’t realize you were boring. It’s lavender Earl Grey, though. Or is that too exciting?”

“Oolong is fine.” Even walks back over, two tea bags in hand, and drops one into Isak’s mug. He catches Isak’s eyes for a moment, looking over his face carefully as if to gauge if anything is wrong. His eyes are so blue - Isak’s never seen anyone with blue eyes like Even. He brushes Isak’s cheek with his thumb, smiling softly.

“Everything’s gonna be ok,” he says, and Isak smiles back.

The phone rings and Isak spits out a swear. 

“Answer it?” Even suggests. Isak rolls his eyes. He feels like he’s already dealt with enough today. He brings to phone to his ear.

 

“What?” he asks, deadpan, and Even pours the hot water into his mug.

“Isak. I’m with Eskild,” Linn says. 

“Hmmm,” he responds. He’s watching the steam rise up out of his cup.

“And I...I didn’t know. I just. I’ll try to help. I want to help.”

“Ok,” he responds. 

“I...this is horrible timing. I...I need you to come back to the castle,” Linn sounds appropriately ashamed at the request. Isak’s stomach drops.

“What?” He asks, shocked. He knew he’d eventually have to go back, but he never anticipated that it would be so soon. 

“The ball is in a week. We have to build up your public presence again in a way that suggests that you are entirely stable and with Princess Emma still.”

“Can I at least come back in a week?” Isak asks though he’s fairly sure of the answer already.

“No. Now. Tomorrow at the latest. If you don’t come back, people will come to get you,” Linn says, more urgency in her tone.

“Why?” He asks, more in distress than for actual clarification.

“Babe?” Even asks, rubbing a small circle on Isak’s back. He shakes his head.

“Besides the situation of PR, a lot has to be done in terms of preparation. You need your suit tailored, you need to pick out the table settings, you have to talk down Princess Emma from whatever fit she’ll throw when she sees the tabloids.”

“Have Eskild pick the goddamn table settings, I’m not coming home. I won’t.”

“Jonas is on his way. He will collect you. You can have tonight, but you have to leave Waeluryn in the morning. It’s Jonas or a SWAT team.”

“Linn, please.” He’s practically begging.

“One night. That’s final. You have tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, Isak.”

“Linn-” The line goes dead. “Fuck!” he shouts, and Even looks somber.

“We knew you’d have to go home at some point, it’s just...sooner than we thought. It’s ok. C’mere,” Even says, so Isak lets himself be wrapped up in the older boy’s arms.

“I don’t want to go,” he mumbles, the words muffled against Even’s sweater. His head is resting in the familiar space by Even’s collarbone. It’s a place he knows so well. He never wants to move.

“I know.” Even’s arms tighten.

“What am I gonna do?”

“You’ll be alright. Everything’s alright. You’re gonna go home, you’re gonna take care of your shit, and I’ll be there. And we can have sex in your shower.” Isak lets out a surprised, choked laugh.

“I told you, I don’t think that it’s going to be as fun as you say it is.” Even pulls back, smirking, and strokes Isak’s hair.

“You haven’t showered until you’ve showered with me.”

“I _have_ showered with you.” Even gives him a peck on the lips.

“Not _showered_ showered though.”

“So I should wash my hair while you’re inside me?”

“Kinky. But no.”

“Couldn’t we just like, I don’t know, have sex standing up? Isn’t that the same?” Even pouts.

“No, because there’s soap and there’s water and it’s warm. And I’m telling you, you’ll be into it. I’ll buy you coffee after.”

“Aren’t you supposed to buy me the drink before you enter me?”

“Before I enter you?” Even looks incredulous.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you bottom?” Even asks, and grabs Isak’s tea from the counter, handing it to him. He takes a sip.

“I don’t know, I’ve been bottom up til now, and...it seems like you know what you’re doing with the whole shower situation, so…” Isak shrugs.

“Is it cause I’m daddy Even?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. He rolls his hips and Isak laughs, covering his face with one hand.

“Oh my god, stop it. That’s fucking disgusting.” Even grinds lightly against his hips, biting his lip, and Isak puts a hand on his chest.

“Daddy is offended,” Even says emphatically, and Isak groans.

“I swear I will punch you if you call yourself daddy one more time. I swear.” Even kisses him heavily, and Isak bites the other boy’s lip lightly.

“That’s why you’re so hot. You’re feisty.”

“Why are you doing this?” Isak asks squinting his eyes. 

“I don’t know. Just...wanna cheer you up a little bit. Also, I would be lying if I said I haven’t missed...that naughty stuff. We do. Or, we did back at home. With my moms and sisters and stuff, it’s kind of...risky, so I get it, but I…” Even trails off, his eyes wandering over Isak’s body for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I’m excited to see you naked again.”

“You’re excited to see me naked?” Isak takes another sip of his tea.

“Uh, yeah. Obviously. You’re a hot little piece.” Even says, half teasing. He kisses Isak again, quickly this time.

“There’s no way you’re real.”

“Oh I’m here, I’m queer, and I am ready to fuck you.”

“That doesn’t rhyme.”

“Christ. Everyone’s a critic.”

\---

“Did you make a Tumblr?” Isak asks, glancing over at Even’s screen. Even nods, still engrossed. “What’s so interesting?” He asks, putting his chin on Even’s shoulder. 

“They...there’s an entire group of people who are so observant. This is incredible. Their...headcanons about you are scarily accurate sometimes,” Even says, scrolling through a massive amount of images. 

“What’s that?” Isak asks, pointing at a picture of him with a paragraph underneath. Even clicks on it. 

“It’s a post comparing how you act when fans approach you to your media presence. It has a guy saying how you were really nice and complimented his eyeliner. They’re comparing it to the article your parents dropped last week,” Even explains, quickly skimming the post. 

“So...is it more...positive?” Isak asks. Even shrugs.

“I think for the most part? Oh, wait...this blog calls you problematic. But they also call you their fave? So I think that’s good?”

“Holy shit, you have 10,000 followers,” Isak says suddenly and Even nods.

“Yeah, I linked from my youtube. Apparently people like me. Go figure.”

There’s a feature from Heart Beat. Featuring Even. It’s cute and pink and peppy and all of the things that Isak is no longer surprised he associates with news.

“What’s that?” Isak asks again, this time pointing to a drawing. It looks like Even. Even squints, looking at it carefully. 

“I...I think that’s me but I’m in a video game?” He seems unsure. 

“That’s pretty cool. I might have to get one of these,” Isak decides. Even smiles. 

“You’d totally post only memes.”

\---

“Can I...I’m almost done with the movie. Could I get a last shot or two?” Even asks. Isak’s finished packing up and they’re sitting on the dock one last time. The sun is rising, they’ve been up all night, talking and soaking each other in.

“Sure. Yeah.” Isak says immediately.

Even laces his fingers through Isak’s, careful not to hurt him, then starts to film.

“I thought you didn’t like being in your own films?” Isak asks, almost stunned.

“For you babe, I make all of the exceptions,” Even says. Isak can tell he’s trying to be cheesy, but the delivery is too sincere for it to be anything besides sentimental. 

Though most of the bruises have faded and the pain is under control, the only time Isak really feels right is when his hands are in Even’s. All he wants to do is stay, but the goodbye is inevitable, inching closer with every moment they spend together.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We promised more angst. Also making up the analysis was awesome. 10/10 would recommend. (really brought back those 1d days hahahaha -chloë).

The minute Isak is back on the castle grounds, his phone is confiscated and he’s informed that he is not to leave. Under any circumstances. 

He spends a lot of time in the gardens - he’s probably the only one who ever does. It’s just gotten warm enough to be outside comfortably, so in the afternoon he’ll take long, aimless walks around the grounds, letting the sun hit his face the way it did back in Waeluryn.

It hurts to think about Even. Physically, almost. Since Isak’s phone was taken away, he hasn’t had any contact with him whatsoever, and his absence feels like a missing limb. Isak has been trying to convince Eskild to get him some kind of burner phone, but Eskild is hesitant. With good reason, Isak has to admit. If he was caught breaking the rules...there would be hell to pay.

His laptop was taken too, so he doesn’t have any idea how the world is reacting to everything that’s happened over the past few days.

Apart from his long walks, Isak hasn’t had a moment to himself since he got back. It was all fittings and interviews and dance lessons - the ball is in less than a week, and though every year the event is always an aggravation, this time feels even more draining. 

He can’t stop thinking about Even. There are good thoughts and bad thoughts. The way Even’s lips felt on his neck. The smell of his sheets. The way he’d called Mikael his best friend. His ex-girlfriend. Who was she? Did she break up with him, or was it the other way around? Sonja. 

He wonders if he’ll ever end up like her. Discarded. 

He wonders if Even is mad at him. There’s been no explanation for the silence, and Isak had heard one of the guards mention how they’d had to get rid of “some kid” who’d been loitering by the back gate.

Now, he’s sitting with Eskild and the man he sees about once a year who’s in charge of the crowns. They’re sized to fit him, unlike the royal regalia, which has been passed down since the Valtersens came to power and will soon be Isak’s. So, every year, this blacksmith - who apparently comes from a very long line of royal-serving blacksmiths - comes to measure his head and show him the different gems that could be appropriate. 

Most years he just picks whatever is red - his suit is usually some combination of red and gold - but this year there aren’t any red ones to choose from. So instead, he’s forced to listen to the various pros and cons of each, the different settings he can choose from, and the difference between an Asscher and a cushion cut stone. 

“Aquamarine represents the sea, the ocean, yes? You know what I mean?” The man, Jon, asks, pursing his lips. He does this after each sentence as if he’s sure Isak isn’t quite understanding. Isak nods, and Jon continues. “Ok, very good. This stone is...wisdom. Peace. Strength. Beauty. It fixes things that are broken. Yes?” Isak nods and smiles to himself. Maybe he’s reaching, but it reminds him of Even. If he has these stones with him...maybe it will be like Even is there too.

“That sounds nice,” Eskild says, and the man shakes his head.

“There is one more. Very beautiful, I think. Very fit for a king. Understand?” Eskild raises his eyebrows.

“Yes,” Isak finally says. Jon smiles and opens a small case. Inside is one small gem, violet-red. Silently, Isak breathes a sigh of relief. His mindless strategy will still work.

“This is very rare. Alexandrite. Your birthstone as well, and very good luck. And, the most important thing -” The man picks up the fragment carefully, holding it up to the light that’s streaming in from the window. Quickly, it shifts color, suddenly a deep blue. “In the sun, everything changes. Isn’t that right?”

Isak smiles.

“That’s right.”

\---

When he wakes up, all he wants is to go back to sleep. This isn’t exactly new, but normally, it’s just that - a want. Now, it’s a need. He’s exhausted. There’s a heaviness in his chest and his head that makes him think he might be sick, but he pushes away the thought. There is no way he can survive today if he’s sick on top of everything else.

With every ounce of energy he has left, he forces himself up, and when the cold air hits his skin he feels a chill tear through him. He hopes it’s just the contrast of temperature between the bed and the room but a part of him knows it’s the start of a fever. 

But, even if that’s true, it doesn’t make a difference. He has a date with Emma today. An important date.

He gets dressed, head pounding, trying to remember what Emma likes him to wear. 

Downstairs at breakfast, he doesn’t make eye contact with his parents, just tries to keep from coughing. By the time the meal is over, his chest is aching and he’s shivering so badly his hands are shaking.

Next, he has another fitting for his...outfit? He has no idea what to call it. It’s not a suit, it’s more military than anything else. It’s traditional, which mostly means it has too many buttons, but also refers to the fact it looks absolutely ridiculous on him.

“We had to use last time’s measurements, so it might be a little tight,” the seamstress, Maria, says, but when Isak actually finishes buttoning it up she frowns. “Too big. Figures. It’s always a surprise with you, hmm?”

Isak knows he lost weight over the past few months, but he had no idea it would be this prominent. He coughs harshly into his fist.

“It’s really alright, it fits well enough,” he tries to argue, but Maria shakes her head, taking a pin from one of her assistants.

“My job is not to make it fit ‘well enough.’ Do you like it, at least?” He looks at himself in the full-length mirror. His face is flushed. He shifts his weight. 

“Beautiful. You always do such...great work.” Maria smiles, smoothing the fabric on one of his shoulders. 

“Are you too warm?” Maria asks, and Isak shakes his head. “You can take it off. Hopefully, you feel better in a few days.”

“I’m fine.”

“Of course.”

\---

By the time he meets Emma, he’s dead on his feet. He’s been coughing most of the day, and his throat feels raw. His head is pounding. The absolute last thing he wants is to speak to Emma, but he doesn’t have a choice.

She doesn’t have much patience for him normally, and seemingly less for him now.

“It’s like pulling goddamn teeth with you, Isak,” she says, crossing her arms.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t feel good.”

“You never feel good! You don’t care about me,” she says, uncrossing her arms and curling her hands into fists where they sit on the table.

“Of course I do,” Isak protests unconvincingly.

“No, you don’t. The only time we ever see each other is when you want to get in the fucking magazines.”

“Please, Em, can we just have a good time?” He asks, desperate. She scoffs.

“Fuck you! I can’t do this shit anymore,” she says, shaking her head.

“What?” 

“I can’t be with someone who’s just pretending to love me. It’s fucked up.” Emma frowns, glaring at him.

“I’m not-”

“Shut up. I have a real boyfriend back home.” She begins to gather her things to leave. 

“So do I, but this is important, Emma,” Isak blurts out without thinking. The fever is making his thoughts somewhat slow.

“Really?” Emma looks up at him and stops packing for a second.

“Yes. I can’t...Just please don’t do this.” There are tears on his cheeks, and Emma looks almost disgusted.

“It’s time to live your life. It’s time for me to live mine. I won’t be your tabloid feature.” She stands up, turning to leave the cafe. “I’m doing you a favor. You’re a good guy.” She leaves without another word.

So it’s official. Everything, literally everything, has gone to shit.

\---

When Isak gets back to his room, he finds a small box on his bedside table with a note taped on top. He kicks off his shoes, muffling a fit of coughs in his elbow before sitting down on the bed.

He takes the box, reading the note on top quickly.

“Got you a phone. All your shit is loaded on, just don’t let anyone find it. Love Eskild <3” He almost starts to cry. Granted, the fever might be making him a little more emotional, but...this means he can talk to Even. For the first time in almost a week.

Quickly, he curls up under the comforter, letting his aching head rest on the pillow, and finds Even’s number in the list of contacts. The phone rings for only a moment before Even’s voice breaks through the haze.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Ev.”

“Isak? Where have you been!? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for days!” He sounds genuinely upset, almost angry, and Isak feels his heart start to beat faster. Even is mad. At him.

“I’m sorry, I -” he breaks into a fit of coughing before he can finish. Jesus. Why can’t he just pull it together for one minute?

“Whoa, baby,” Even says, the tone of his voice changing drastically. “Are you alright? What’s going on?”

“I’m fine. I got cut off from...everyone. Eskild got me a phone, finally. How are you?”

“Don’t worry about me. You don’t sound good,”

“I said I’m fine, Even.” He coughs again, and his vision blurs for a moment. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too. Are you drinking water? If you’re sick you need fluids. Does Eskild know about this? Where is he?”

“I’m not sick. And you don’t need to talk to Eskild. Everything’s fine, I swear.”

“Just promise you’ll drink some water, ok? It would make me really happy.”

“I’m not sick.”

“Ok, that’s ok. I’m gonna call Eskild quick, alright?” Isak lets out a little whimper.

“No, Ev...please.”

“I’ll call you back in a little bit.” The line goes dead.

There’s a knock on the door, but before he can tell whoever it is to go away, the door swings open. It’s Eskild, looking flustered.

“I heard you broke up with Emma?” Isak adjusts himself under the heavy blanket, trying to ward off chills.

“She broke up with me.” Eskild frowns.

“You don’t look good,” he says, and Isak laughs bitterly. It hurts his throat but he doesn’t care. His body is rocked by another wave of shivers, and he tries desperately to bury himself deeper in the makeshift cocoon he’s created.

“I’m fine, just tired.” Eskild raises his eyebrows but doesn’t argue.

“You got my present?” Isak nods, smiling, and Eskild smiles back. He opens his mouth to say something else, but his own phone starts to ring in his pocket, and he holds up a finger, answering the call. “Hello?...Really? Interesting...I’ll keep you posted...I don’t know, he doesn’t exactly get sick very often...Like I said, I’ll let you know...Yeah...Thanks, ok, bye.” Eskild hangs up. “That was your boyfriend. It appears he’s also under the impression you’re not feeling so well?”

“What’s the difference? It doesn’t matter. Everything’s already fucked.”

“The ball is in two days, so...you’re right. Technically. You can’t get out of any of this stuff that’s planned, but at least I can help you out a little. You don’t have to be miserable.”

“Yes, I do. And I’m not sick. For the record.”

“Right.”

\---

“Ok, so Eskild hands you a plate. What do you say?” Linn asks, and Isak sighs heavily. He’s seated at a small table, an array of plates, glasses, and silverware spread out in some pattern he doesn’t understand. Eskild and Jonas are his practice “guests” in Linn’s impromptu etiquette class.

“Thank you,” Isak says, and Linn groans.

“No, nothing. You say nothing. You nod your head and smile.” Eskild laughs and Linn shoots him a glare. “Jonas is the queen.” Jonas snorts but quiets quickly to avoid Linn’s wrath. “When Jonas is finished, so are you. Understand?”

“Yeah,” Isak says.

“Pick up your drink,” Linn instructs, but she stops him before he even touches the glass. “The stem, thumb and index finger. Go again.” He manages to actually pick it up this time, glancing at Linn before taking a sip. “Good. Small sips.”

“Very ladylike, Issy,” Eskild coos, and Isak shoves his shoulder.

“Hey! Focus,” Linn snaps, and Eskild smirks. “Let me see a bite of food.” It takes Isak a moment to place his hand correctly, and when Linn doesn’t object, he smiles. He spears a piece of lettuce and she groans.

“What could possibly be wrong with that?” Jonas asks, resting his elbows on the table, and Linn looks a few seconds from slapping him. 

“I have to agree,” Eskild says, talking around a bite of bread. 

“You’re being terrible influences,” Linn says, and Isak smiles, glad all the focus has shifted off of him.

“He’ll do great. You’re nitpicking. Every year we do this song and dance and every year he does a great job. I’ll have you know my _son_ ,” Eskild emphasizes, putting an arm around Isak’s shoulders, “Is dying of the plague.”

“I have a cold, Eskild.”

“Same thing. You should be in bed, not getting bullied by Linn,” he says, stroking his hair.

“I’m not -!” Linn cuts herself off, taking a deep breath. “Ok, fine. You remember all the rules? I’ll print you a list. You’ll be fine. Just...stay focused. That’s key.” Jonas is already getting up unceremoniously, grabbing a few of the rolls from the basket in the middle of the table, shoving them into his pockets (and one into his mouth).

“K, let’s go,” he says, and Linn rolls her eyes.

 

\---

[_Now I don't know where I am I don't know where I've been_ ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159112166602/modern-royalty-au)  


\---

[_Hello, hello - 00:00_ ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159112197042/modern-royalty-au)

\---

“Isak, have you seen this yet,” Jonas says, walking into Isak’s room. He’s finally stopped being nervous about hanging out with Isak when he isn’t working and it’s honestly one of the only reasons why he’s still sane. 

“Seen what?” Isak asks. He’s curled up with a book about marine life he’d picked up from the castle library. He’s been staring at the picture of a small crab for the past 10 minutes, so the interruption is not entirely unwelcome. 

“[Your boy posted a video](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159112116702/modern-royalty-au),” Jonas says, holding out an iPad.

Isak’s heart leaps. His boy. 

Somehow Even has made him look like a professional hand model. The music is light and acoustic. His hands are bathed in colored lights, paints, and glitter. His painted nails. Suddenly the video dims and the music darkens subtly. His hands are swollen and destroyed. The bruising is worse than he remembered. The bloody gauze. The purple shadows. His painted nails. Small hands over his. Thea? Sophia? On the beach. On the dock. Days worth of footage compressed into a few moments of happiness. Finally a shot of his hand intertwined with Even’s. Another of it reflected in the water under the dock. 

Isak is about the hand back the iPad when he realizes that it isn’t done. There a single shot of a silhouette (Even?) standing on a roof. Then it ends. There’s a cryptic postscript. 

“You illuminate the sky.”

The comments are all fairly positive. There’s a lot of “Who is it?” but not too much. There’s some “Isak?” but the comments about the editing from fans of artistic short films seem to outweigh those. 

\---

Since Eskild has essentially confined Isak to his bedroom - in order to prevent Isak’s “plague” from getting worse, despite his protests - he doesn’t have much to do other than scroll through his tag on Tumblr. 

\---->“Ok, so I know it’s an unpopular opinion but I actually feel really sorry for the Prince. Imagine growing up in a household with that much hate? We all feel bad for those kids who grow up with homophobic parents, but as soon as one of those kids is in the public eye, we ignore him? What does he know beyond what his family has told him?”

\---

\---->Theory: He’s injured. Something happened and that’s why he went to Waeluryn. In the video that Vilde posted, he has a weird bruise on his hand. In another spot, you can see one on his shoulder. Maybe he was attacked?  
\-------> What if it was an internal thing??? Like a staffer?  
\-------> ok so i know i sound insane but i will go to my grave believing its isak in even’s new film and damn if this doesn’t fit with that??

\---

\---->Theory: The prince is controlled on social media. He gives none of the interviews we don’t actually see him give.  
-We have never seen him say the kinds of things he says in print in person  
-receipts! There are lots of people who have met him and he’s been lovely (See Royal Receipts)  
-He posts about nothing. He only says things related to the government on his Instagram, but nothing political or important. He’s 17. Why is he only posting about gardens and architecture?  
\------->What if he just likes architecture though?  
\---------> to be fair he also posts a fuck ton of Emma. you could work that into the theory but for me that’s a little too illuminati “their relationship is a ruse” lol  
\----------->see Theory: The Prince is gay

\---

\---->Theory: The Prince is gay and here is why.  
-EVEN BECH NAESHEIM. That is all.  
Need more?

-THE FUCKING VILDE VIDEO. OK LET ME EXPLAIN.  
He literally is cuddling a dude. An Even dude. We know Even is probably bi at the very least. (See Even Bech Naesheim and Mikael) They are so cute. Literally, you can see the HEART EYES. I think at 4:05 you can see them holding hands in the reflection of the shop window? At 6:20, Isak is sitting on Even’s lap (I know it was a joke but really??? Was it???

-Even’s Instagram is private (or at least what we think is his?? e_box_420), but I bet if we could get into it, it would be adorable. (See Analyzing e_box_420)]

-Besides the marvel that is his relationship with Even, we have his face.  
Literally every time he sees or hears something his parents say during conferences or tv spots, he winces. EVERY TIME. Thanks to Katie for compiling this (honestly sad and amusing) collection and adding sound effects. (It’s literally 10 minutes of COMMENT-WINCE WITH SOUND EFFECT-SLOW MO REPLAY TO HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME)

-Also. The recent tweets and instagram posts and weirdness. The first caption was from a song called First Day of My Life which implies hella gay shit, the second is referring to the song Hello Hello from the album Midnight (hence the 00:00). If you have ever heard that shit you know what I mean. The forbidden love stuff? Really Isak. Subtlety is not your strength.  
\------> omg I just realized the last line of even’s film???? It’s from that song. Kill me.  
\--------> could be a coincidence

\---

\---->Analyzing: e_box_420

We are 99% sure that e_box_420 is EVBN from Youtube. We are 100% sure that EVBN from Youtube is Even Bech Naesheim. If you don’t know who Even Bech Naesheim is, you haven’t lived. (See Theory: The Prince is gay)

Some argue that this account is a hoax and the E in Extra could stand for something else, but the fact we have an E, a Bech, and an N is pretty solid evidence.

Also, this account is constantly commenting on Vilde, Eva, and Isak’s posts. 

Things we know for sure:  
-Isak probably has a fake account. There is no way a teenager would only have one account.  
-Vilde has replied to this account’s comments, as has Eva. They do not call him by name, but they seem to know him (or her I guess if you really want to make the case this isn’t Even) personally.  
-EVA POSTED THAAT THING!!! WITH THE JOKE!! AND THE FASHION!!! WTF WAS THAT?

\-----> I WAS LIVING THE DAY EVA POSTED THAT. LIVING.  
\-------> SAME OMG then reading the comments?? The adrisak account omg. I would kill someone to see those posts.  
\---------> was going to bring it up here, but i thought it might be too tangential but i’m also pretty sure “adrisak” is prince isak. The profile pic looks a lot like him.  
\------------> OK but has anyone brought up loglady99. Her name is Noora and she goes to the same school as EBN  
\---------------> i have a friend who follows vilde’s finsta and she said there are pics of EBN up with e_box tagged. She can’t screenshot because of the whole vilde-privacy-blocking thing but i trust her  
\-----------------> loglady99/Noora also knows Eskild, who is Isak’s aide/friend. Apparently, she’s met him a few times so maybe that’s how evak met??

\---

\---->Ok personal receipt time…

Once upon a time, I met Isak (aka the prince and all that jazz). I was super nervous bc I wanted to meet him, but I was also wearing one of my super rainbowy shirts and I thought he might be mean, you feel? So I walked over bc it looked like he was just chilling and I was all like “Hi. How are you? Just wanted to say hi hope you have a nice day.” I was talking really quickly and was like starting to walk away when he was like, “Hey do you want to sit and talk? What’s your name I’m Isak.” I was like...ummm ok. So we sat and literally just started talking about the weather. I stg I was like, “nice day,” and so he was pretty nice. He FUCKING COMPLIMENTED MY SHIRT!!!! And when I was like “oh thanks my GIRLFRIEND got it for me,” he was alll like “Oh cool! How long have you been together? What’s her name?” I was like FREAKING THE FUCK OUT bc I was convinced he would be like “you will burn in hell” but he was so chill. 

\---

\----> I’ve been seeing a lot of receipts about Isak in the wake of that article (the one that shall not be named) and it’s about time for me to weigh in on the conversation. Otherwise known as the most bizarre 45 minutes of my life. 

About a year ago (following the thing with Sara and Isak). I was out at a cafe. I live maybe 30 minutes by car from the castle, so it’s not uncommon to see court members wandering around. I was sitting in the nice dark corner of the shop minding my own business when Isak slides into the chair opposite me. I stared at him for a second and started to do the proper address and all of that, but he stopped me. Honestly, he looked a little freaked out. He was really out of breath. I made a joke asking if he had run all the way from the castle and he looked at me and dead serious agreed that that’s what he had done. I offered to let him use my phone and he did, calling one of his friends (Eskild, I think?). He handed the phone back to me and asked if it would be alright if he stayed sitting with me for a bit because I had chosen the best seat for avoiding the large windows at the front of the store. I agreed (only because he looked like he was on the verge of tears and it kind of reminded me that he’s really a child). He was quiet for a few minutes, but then he said something about my lock screen on my phone. I had a collage of musicals and he wanted to know my opinion on the revival of one of them. Dead serious. We talked for 45 minutes about the different cast recordings of cabaret. We talked about which current performers in shows we would cast in stories of our lives (Lin-Manuel Miranda look out for that request in a few years. He wants you to write it.) He eventually gave me a hug. Said goodbye and thanked me and walked out. It was weird, but I think we might be judging him prematurely.  
\--------->Musicals? Definitely a ping on the gaydar.  
\------------->I think the point is more that he’s a sweet person.

\---

Isak is kind of surprised. People are more insightful than he thought. He remembers those people. It makes him smile that they liked meeting him as much (not quite as much) as he liked talking with them. He’d spent his entire life fighting to make friends and learn things that weren’t exactly in his parents’ plans for him, so meeting people who actually talk to him is novel. 

He’s feeling rebellious and risky, so with his newly made, badly named Tumblr (it’s the same as his private Instagram, which apparently everyone is onto?), he begins replying through messages to the various accounts.

\--->Hi. Growing up surrounded by hate has been hard on Iss. He appreciates people with open minds and wanted the world to be kinder (including his parents. Especially his parents). -AE

\---> Iss was injured. Eagle eyes! Yeah, it was bad and traumatic and we all had to get him away bc he wasn’t safe at the castle for a bit. -AE

\--->Yes. Social media. No go for Isak (except for the recent stuff). He does like those plants, tho. -AE

\---> Pretty sharp. -AE

\--->He’s a cool dude. He’s always asking after my boyfriend. -AE

\--->Honestly musicals are only one of the things that he could go on about for hours. We think it might be because of all the time he’s spent alone hahahaha. -AE

Immediately he sees replies coming in.

\--->Umm. Hi? Who are you?

\---> What the fuck? Who is this???

Within a minute or two, his entire tag is filled with: Who is AE? I just got a cryptic message from someone named AE? Did Anyone else get one? 

\--->Clearly he knows Isak but there’s nobody Isak knows with those initials??

Isak stumbles on Even’s Tumblr, where it seems like he’s been fielding questions left and right.

Anon: is isak the hands in your movie?? E: isak who? You’ll need to be more specific babe :) haha joking aside, the identity of the hands is secret and will be staying that way.

Anon: are you and isak fucking? E: If I was hitting that ya’ll would know because he is one pretty prince if i do say so myself. Short answer: no, i wish ;)

Anon: why were you in vilde’s vid? E: i know vilde through isak and eva, who i met through another mutual friend (Noora, but she’s not famous so you guys wouldn’t know her? Hopefully you wouldn’t. Be weird if you did). They were on vacation in my hometown.

Anon: favorite music atm? E: been listening to the album Midnight by Lewis Watson.  
\---->GUYS. ISAK’S CAPTION.  
\------> I KNOW IM SHAKINGGG ASJLF;SHF;ASDFGJL;ORI;’  
\---

“Isak, you parents want you. Downstairs,” Eskild says, peeking his head through the doorway. He looks nervous.

“Right now?” Eskild nods somberly, and Isak sighs, which only ends up leading to a fit of coughs.

“I wish you’d let me take your temperature or something, that sounds awful.” Isak shakes his head, pushing himself up in bed.

“I’m fine. Let’s go.” He walks - more like stumbles - downstairs with Eskild to one of the smaller foyers, and Eskild gives him a reassuring squeeze before leaving him alone at the door.

Carefully, Isak makes his way inside, holding his breath.

“Well, here he is. Would you like to explain how exactly you managed to ruin all this? Or should I just tell you what I think?” His mother immediately says, not standing from her reclined position on the couch. His father stands by the window, hands clasped behind his back.

“She broke up with me,” Isak says, fighting back a wave of chills. He’s starting to get dizzy, but he’s not sure whether it’s from the fever or his anxiety.

“Save it. Please. We ask so little of you. Really. But that’s not why I’m upset.” This throws Isak for a loop. What else could she be mad about?

“I...I don’t -” His father cuts him off.

“There are many things I can forgive, son. Poor table manners, sneaking out, those are forgivable,” Terje says. “Sometimes I think your mother is too harsh with you, but now…” He clenches his jaw. “I think she perhaps wasn’t harsh enough.”

Isak’s heart is beating out of his chest, and his breaths are coming too fast.

“We’ve been very clear about our stance on homosexuality. Have we not been clear, Terje?” Marianne asks, and that’s the moment Isak’s heart stops.

“We have been explicit, my dear.”

“Then I cannot understand why, when we have been so forgiving and so kind and raised you to lead this country, you would commit such disgusting acts. Our own son, under our own roof. How dare you?” He feels his eyes begin to well with tears.

“I didn’t-” his voice is weak.

“Do not lie to me Isak,” she says firmly, and stands. She begins to walk toward him, and with every step she takes, the fear inside his chest doubles. “This boy, we know you’ve been seeing him. We know who he is, and we have evidence of your transgression, and mark my words there will be consequences, and you will never - I mean never - see this boy again.” She’s standing right in front of him now, and he’s aware of cold tears slipping down his cheeks.

“P-please, I didn’t mean it, please,” he whispers, almost begging, but her expression doesn’t change.

“I’d disown you if I could. If it didn’t mean the death of our bloodline, you would not be my son.” 

“You’ve never been my mother,” he whispers, and this unlocks the full extent of her anger.

She shoves him harshly, and he falls hard on his shoulder, crying out. She kicks him in the chest, one, twice, three times, before the door bursts open and someone is dragging her back from him. Jonas and...Elias. He struggles to catch his breath and hears his father start to speak.

“He doesn’t leave the suite. No exceptions.”

He forces himself up, head spinning, and someone takes him by the arm, pulling him into the hallway.

He’s in bed what feels like only a moment later, someone touching his chest with a cold cloth.

“It’ll keep the bruises from getting bad,” Eskild says, and without warning, Isak starts to sob. Every breath aches.

“I’m never -” his breath hitches. “They said -”

“I know what they said. Calm down. Take a deep breath.”

“Even -” Eskild brushes his hair back, frowning.

“I know, it’s gonna be ok. Just relax for now,” Eskild says, and Isak tries to stop the flow of tears. “You’re so stubborn.”

“No’m not,” he mumbles, and Eskild rolls his eyes.

“You’re burning up. Of course, I thought this was the case for several days now and, of course, you denied it, because you’re stubborn.” Eskild sighs, touching his forehead. “Everything is going to be ok.”

\---

[_You make my heart shake._ ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159112240407/modern-royalty-au)  


\---

[_Be my rest, be my fantasy._ ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159112267552/modern-royalty-au)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's such a nice day in New York :)
> 
> Also season 4. Guys!!!! Like! Wow!

When Isak wakes up, it’s to a dark, empty room. There’s a bottle of water and a few pills left on his bedside table, along with a note. His head is pounding, but he makes himself read Eskild’s terrible handwriting.

_i’ll be back tomorrow (or today if you’re reading this in the morning). Text Even. he’s worried out of his mind._

Isak sighs, which only leads to a vicious fit of coughs, and picks up his phone. His thoughts are very slow and tangled, almost like he’s drunk, and when he types the texts he’s not really sure what he’s trying to say.

_babbyy….wen im wit u i feell no o painn_  
_u my_  
_ibuprofen_

It’s only a couple seconds before Isak gets a response.

_do you have a fever?_

_only teh fevver of myy heart tt ,3_  
_> 3_  
_< 3_

_christ babe_  
_how are you?_

_sad n not good_ Suddenly, the memories of the night before come rushing back, and he feels cold tears slipping down his cheeks.

There are another few texts from Even.

_i’m still here even if i’m not there_  
_i’ll love you from a million miles away_  
_I just blew you a kiss make sure you catch it_

Isak smiles.

_caught_

He must fall back asleep, because he wakes up again to a dark room, this time shaking with chills. He pulls the comforter more tightly around his shoulders before he remembers the pills sitting on the bedside table. The pills he has yet to take. 

So he gulps them down with the lukewarm water, wondering idly if his parents are right - if he’s never going to see Even again. Never is a strong word. Never would mean...the rest of Isak’s life. Decades. The thought is unbearable. He feels himself start to cry again and roughly swipes his cheeks with the back of his hand.

He should have known. He should have known things weren’t going to work. They never do. He let himself get into this mess despite his better judgment and now...now he’s fucked. Maybe his parents will follow through with all of their half realized threats against him. Then at least he’ll be dead or too concerned with his excruciating pain in his body to care about the pain of his heart. 

The worst thing is knowing he hasn’t told Even “I love you.” He might never get the chance. He lies there crying until he’s too worn out, lying trembling under the heavy comforter until he falls asleep again and he can forget how terrible everything is going.

The next time he wakes up, it’s finally light out, and Eskild is gently shaking his shoulder.

“What?” he mumbles, his voice hoarse.Eskild sits down on the edge of the mattress.

“How do you feel?”

“Not good.” 

“Well I can fix that,” Eskild says quietly, stroking some of Isak’s hair back from his forehead. Usually, Isak wouldn’t like this, but he doesn’t have the energy to be aggravated. “Open up.”

“Why?”

“Thermometer.” Isak frowns, tightening the blanket around his shoulders.

“I’m sick. That’s all you need to know.”

“Well if you’re sick you don’t have much authority, so I’m going to ignore you,” Eskild says, smiling, and Isak reluctantly lets him slip the device under his tongue. When it beeps Eskild frowns at the reading. 

“Have you talked to Even?” Isak asks as Eskild grabs a plate of something from the bedside table.

“Yeah. Did you text him something weird last night?” Isak genuinely can’t remember, so he shakes his head. “Well, all this thermometer shit is because he made me promise to text him your stats every couple hours. You scared the shit out of him.”

“My stats?” Isak mumbles and pushes himself up onto his elbows.

“How much you’re eating, drinking, sleeping, stuff like that. And the fever, obviously. I don’t know how you found such a nice boyfriend.” Isak sighs, rubbing his tired eyes. They’re still puffy from crying earlier. He hopes Eskild can’t tell.

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.” Eskild stops abruptly.

“What? Are you kidding me, Isak?” He shakes his head, and Eskild swears. “What happened?

“Mom and Dad found out. About him. They said -” his breath catches, and he bites back a sob. “I’m never seeing him again. Ever.”

“Is this related to the fact that I’ve received strict instructions to not let you out of this suite under any circumstance?”

“Probably,” Isak says burying his face back into his pillow to try to hide the tears that are starting to gather in his eyes. He feels a hand rubbing his back gently. He sighs. “It’s...they’re going to kill him. They’re going to kill me. I don’t know. They have never liked me and now they hate me and everything is-” Isak breaks off choking as he starts to cry harder.

“Shhhh,” Eskild says rubbing Isak’s back. He takes out his phone and begins to type with one hand. “This isn’t good but we can probably find a way out of this once you are feeling better.” 

“Probably?” Isak asks looking up at Eskild, vision blurred due to his tears. Eskild winces.

“Your parents are very powerful…” he trails off.

“It’s hopeless. I’m going to die in this room.” He curls in on himself further. Eskild doesn’t reply and Isak doesn’t want to think about that too closely. Eskild, who always has a reply for everything and is always willing to comfort him has nothing to say. 

\---

“Isak?” 

He blinks his eyes open. His room is still dark and he’s not sure how much time has passed. At this point, Isak knows (from Eskild) that the ball has been pushed back due to a “family emergency” as his family distastefully put imprisoning Isak in his room. He hasn’t had much contact with anyone besides Eskild, so it’s disorienting to hear another person’s voice.

“Noora?” He asks. His voice cracks slightly. He wonders when the last time he had a drink of water was. It’s been a couple of days since he stopped feeling cripplingly sick (though he’s still not so great) and he stopped hydrating properly once he wasn’t sweating it all away. The door cracks open and she pads into the room. She’s carrying a tray of food. The sight makes Isak’s stomach twist from anxiety. 

“Isak, can we talk?” She says setting the tray down on his bedside table. Isak tries not to flinch and hides his face in his pillow. 

“No,” he says. She sighs. He knows that it wasn’t really his choice to make. 

“Isak. I’m risking a lot to talk to you. Listen to what I have to say, ok?” Noora says, patting his legs. Isak doesn’t say anything, so Noora takes that as her cue to continue talking. “We’re all really worried about you, Isak.” He huffs out an annoyed breath. “No, seriously. Eskild sent me here to try to figure out if you were planning a hunger strike.” Isak looks up in surprise. 

“What?” He asks, squinting his eyes in confusion. That was definitely not what he was doing. 

“So you not eating for the past several days was unintentional?” Noora asks pointedly. Isak shrugs.

“I guess? I wasn’t really aware it had been that long?” He sounds a lot more unsure than he had intended. 

“Isak, I know what you’re doing,” Noora says. 

“Doing what?” Isak asks. He just wants to go back to sleep. Why is she interrogating him?

“This not eating thing. Isak. Listen to me,” Noora almost pleads. 

“I don’t…” Isak says, finally catching on to what Noora is worried about. “I don’t have an eating disorder. I don’t want to be skinny or anything…” Noora shakes her head. 

“I know you think that Isak, but you’re really hurting yourself, even if you don’t mean to.”

“I..I...I-” Isak splutters for a second, not sure what to say. 

“I was really sick for a really long time, Isak. I don’t want to see you as...weak as I was,” Noora says grimacing when she’s unable to come up with the right words. “It starts off small and it just...spirals. Out of your control.”

“It’s not...it’s not like that. I don’t care how I look.” Noora folds her hands in her lap.

“Well...was there ever a time when you weren’t allowed to eat?” Isak nods casually, shrugging.

“Yeah, I mean that’s a punishment kids get. Sometimes a couple days at a time but it wasn’t a big deal.” Noora frowns. “It’s not even because of that, I just...don’t get hungry. Or I just don’t have the motivation. I’m fine.”

“Did you have enough water?” She asks. Isak isn’t really sure why she’s making a big deal out of this. 

“Yeah. Of course, I had water. They weren’t trying to kill me. I just wouldn’t eat and maybe pass out and get back up and then go on with life. It’s fine.”

“Ok…” She seems at a loss of what to say next. “How about we eat this so that Eskild can stop worrying?” Isak laughs slightly. 

“Eskild is always worried about something. He’s going to be fine.” Noora glares at him. “Fine. I’ll even sit up. How’s that?”

“Better,” She says once he’s seated and eating the food. Isak finishes eating in silence and then immediately feels a wave of exhaustion pass over him. 

“Maybe you’re onto something with the food thing…” Isak mumbles as he begins to doze. He doesn’t hear any reply. 

\---

A few hours must have passed when he next gains awareness because the light in his room has changed significantly. 

“How is he?” He hears Eskild’s voice. 

“Not great,” Noora replies softly. He can see their silhouettes through the slightly ajar door out of his suite. 

“Is he doing a hunger strike?” Eskild asks, as though he’s joking but Isak can hear the tightness in his voice. 

“No...but I think...I’m worried he’s...he has some disordered eating habits that might be more deeply seated than we thought?” She says quickly. 

“How do you…” Eskild trails off. 

“I’m studying this. But yeah...I just. He said some pretty worrying things.” Did he? Isak is confused. He was just relaying a couple of anecdotes. Were they really that bad? Is he that out of touch with the real world?

“Like what?” Eskild asks. Noora sighs. 

“I’ll only tell you because I was acting in the capacity of concerned friend and you’re probably the only one who can do anything to help this kid.” Isak doesn’t snort but he comes close. Out of all of this, “kid” is what he takes offense to. Kid? Child? Please. What is childhood? Oh. That might be why she’s concerned. 

“Ok.” Isak can imagine Eskild nodding his head and making ‘perfect listening eye contact’ something he seemed to have mastered long before meeting Isak, as he can’t remember a time when his listening face wasn’t perfect. 

“I have a theory about why he's doing this. It’s not really a theory. He told me but I don’t think he knows he’s doing it. Like also depression can fuck with your appetite and sometimes make you nauseous so that might also be a cause, but as far as you know -” Eskild cuts her off. 

“It’s possible but we don’t know at this point.”

“Well, besides that, he told me that his parents would starve him?” She finishes awkwardly as if she isn’t really sure how to explain it to Eskild. 

“Shit,” Eskild says. Isak wishes he wasn’t eavesdropping so he could explain. He only said he missed some meals. He never said starving, even if that’s what it felt like sometimes. Lots of kids are sent to bed without dinner...probably...he read some children’s books where that was a threat. Look at Harry Potter. He wasn’t fed properly all the time. That...might be a bad example, but he was sure it was a common practice. 

Even thought he was depressed. Was this eating thing more evidence? Christ, why can’t just one aspect of his life be not fucked up?

Everything he does he tries to do right. He wants to do the right thing. He wants to please his parents, his friends, himself, but he never seems to. He tries so hard to be good and be the person people want him to be but he can’t. Not anymore.

Fuck it. He’s not ok. He can’t be.

\---

 

A few minutes later Noora is back with more food and a movie, unaware that Isak overheard her conversation. He doesn’t bring it up, just eats what she gives him and watches the movie.

“Why don’t they love me, Noora?” He finally whispers as the credits roll, and she sighs, running a hand over his back. She doesn’t answer, just sits next to him, providing the warmth he needs to get through the moments before he falls back to sleep.

\---

When he wakes up, it’s dark again, and she’s gone. He didn’t expect her to stay, but still, he wishes she’d at least said goodbye. His phone is vibrating, so he picks it up, looking at the new text message. It’s from Even.

 _but soft...what light through yonder window breaks?_ Isak recognizes the words from somewhere, but his tired mind can’t quite place them. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to talk to Even. It’s only going to make him sad. He puts it back down, burying himself back under the blankets. He’s starting to feel cold again, and he really hopes he’s not going back to the weird feverish hell he’s been in the past few days.

His phone vibrates again, and even though he doesn’t want to, he has to check the message.

 _Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon._ Again, another quote that Isak can’t identify.

 _what are you trying to say_ he types quickly, and gets an immediate response.

_i’m looking at the stars and i’m thinking about how they’re the same for both of us no matter how far apart we are._

He swings his legs over the edge of the bed, standing up, realizing all of sudden he’s only wearing his underwear. But, he can’t bring himself to care very much. He wants to go out on the balcony and see the stars. The same stars Even is looking at.

It’s cold out, almost freezing, but he doesn’t care, just rests his hands on the banister and stares out over the dark garden. There a few lights along the paths, but he stops when something catches his attention. A silhouette. A person. Even. It’s Even, standing in the garden in front of the balcony, waving. Isak’s heart stops cold.

“What are you doing here?!” He calls down, wincing at the way it tears his throat.

“With love’s light wings did I climb these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt,” Even calls back, and Isak feels himself smiling too wide. Even gets down on one knee, holding up one hand. “Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?”

“Come up here then!” He shouts, joking, and he can see Even smirking.

“I will!” And Even starts to climb the trellis, much faster than Isak assumed he would be able to. Isak’s climbed it a few times, and it’s difficult. Finally, he’s on the balcony, and before Isak can say anything they’re kissing. Even’s mouth is warm and familiar and hungry, both his hands on Isak’s cheeks. “Romeo and Juliet,” he whispers, and Isak laughs softly, suppressing a shiver. 

“Ev, this is...this is really nice, but I…” he takes a deep breath and coughs weakly into his wrist. “I’m cold and sleepy and...don’t feel good, so I think you should just go.” Even kisses his cheek.

“Why would I go?” He whispers, and Isak starts to cry. Why can’t he control himself? He buries his head against Even’s shoulder, letting the warm arms wrap around him. Why would Even go? Because everyone, _everyone_ , always does. “Let’s go inside, ok?” Isak nods, and before he really knows what’s going on he’s lying down again, this time curled tight against Even. He’s freezing again. “Who’s been taking care of you, babe?”

“Eskild. Noora, a little bit.” Even hums softly in response, stroking Isak’s hair.

“You’re still sick you think?” Isak shakes his head. “Mm. Right. I’ve always wanted to ask, why is there a piano in your room?” The question catches Isak off guard.

“Not this room, the room with the couches and tv and stuff, right?” he clarifies, and Even nods, pressing a small kiss to Isak’s cheek.

“Mmhmm.”

“I play piano.” Even looks incredulous, a smile growing on his face.

“Fuck you. No, you don’t.” This makes Isak laugh. He presses a hand to Even’s chest lightly.

“That was mean. And yes I do. I took lessons for...10 years? I stopped when I was 15.” Even raises his eyebrows, running his fingers absently through Isak’s hair.

“I bet you’re incredible,” he murmurs, and Isak shakes his head, focusing on the feeling of Even’s gentle touches on his skin. “No, I bet you’re so good.”

“I’m ok,” Isak admits reluctantly. 

“Why’d you stop?” Even asks pressing a kiss to Isak’s head.

“Ummmm,” Isak starts. “I...broke my arm. Also, I never played in public so my parents didn’t think it was important. I don’t know.”

“Hmmm…” Even squeezes Isak’s shoulder. They lie like that for a while longer, staring at each other, Even pressing occasional kisses to the younger boy’s face.

“My parents found out. About us. I mean...I guess I knew it was gonna happen. With all the pictures and-” Isak suddenly rushes to tell Even.

“Oh fuck it’s my fault. It’s my fault, Iss, I…” Even pulls back slightly, looking upset. Isak just shakes his head wearily.

“It’s not your fault. If I didn’t want you to post stuff I would’ve told you. I would’ve told Vilde. I thought about it, I...I’m just done with being afraid of them. My parents. I…” _love you_ , he wants to say, but he can’t get the words out. “If they’re going to beat the shit out of me anyway, it should at least be because of something important.”

“No, Isak, I should’ve -”

“It’s not your fault. Besides, it doesn’t matter now. It’s done.” Isak feels tears start to well in his eyes and swears. Even frowns, holding him more tightly.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he finally says. “I’m going to make sure your body feels better, then we’ll kiss for a little bit, then we’ll cuddle and you can get some sleep and when we wake up we can take a shower. Sex optional.” Isak cracks a smile thinking back to happier times - 2 weeks ago in Waeluryn. Had it really been that long? 

If he closes his eyes he can imagine he’s back there in Even’s bed, safe and warm and loved. He can imagine that when he wakes up they’ll sit and watch the sunrise together on the dock. But of course, he’s still here. Stuck in this room. 

“Ok,” he says.

“First thing on the list, make you not so sick. And handle these,” Even says, running his fingers over the bruises on Isak’s chest. He’d forgotten they were there until right now. “I think you’re still running a fever, and you’re...obviously dehydrated.”

“Why ‘obviously’?” Isak asks and Even gives him a peck on the lips.

“Chapped.”

“They’re not! They’re soft. I’m hydrated,” Isak protests quietly, and Even sits up, smiling.

“Then some more water won’t hurt, right?” Even gets out of bed, walking through the doorway to the small kitchen. Isak watches him idly, trying to memorize the way he moves. The way he looks. This could be the last time they see each other, and Isak has to remember it. “Here, drink up,” Even says, handing him a bottle of water. He takes a small sip and Even kisses his forehead. “Amazing. Step one complete.”

“So now we kiss?” Even smiles.

“Now we kiss.”

\---

“I gotta go,” Even whispers, the soft light filtering through the curtains brushing his cheek. It lights him up like a halo, and Isak curls closer.

“No, it’s not time yet. Stay,” he mumbles, burying his face in Even’s shirt. The older boy laughs quietly.

“I must be gone and live, or stay and die.” 

“Don’t make jokes like that.”

“It’s only Shakespeare,” Even murmurs, smiling, and Isak looks up at him.

“Who am I then? What’s my line?” He can feel himself beaming. Even brushes some of his hair off of his forehead.

“You’re Juliet, and you say…’Stay yet. Thou need’st not be gone.’ Then I say, ‘I have more care to stay than will to go.’” Even gives him a slow, heavy kiss before sitting up, stretching his arms over his head.

“You’re so…” Isak can’t find the right adjective. _Smart? Lovely?_ They all seem to pale in comparison to the boy sitting so close to him. He’s glowing - bright, perfect gold. Like the sun. Three words are resting on the tip of his tongue, and he opens his mouth to speak them before Even stands, walking to the door, and he has to follow.

They stand together on the balcony, Isak wrapped in the older boy’s sweatshirt, and try to prolong the goodbye. Their foreheads rest against each other’s, both of Even’s hands on Isak’s cheeks. His eyes - the stunning blue eyes that Isak can’t forget - seem to stare right through him, just like they always have.

“Farewell,” Even whispers finally, and Isak manages a smile. “One kiss and I’ll descend.” Gladly, he obliges, drawing out the contact as long as he can before Even pulls away and starts to climb down. His hands shake where they rest along the railing of the balcony.

“Even,” he finally chokes his throat tight from the tears he knows are coming. Even stares up at him from the garden floor. “Think’st thou we shall ever meet again?” He doesn’t know how he remembered the words, but he knows they’re right. Even beams, his laugh like a chorus of bells.

“I doubt it not.” 

As Isak watches him disappear, weaving through topiaries and flowers and trees, he realizes that Even doesn’t know. Even has walked away completely unaware that this is the last time they’ll ever see each other. 

Isak was allowed one night and was able to savor it, knowing that it was the last time he would ever see his boyfriend. Even didn’t know. The thought forces the breath out of Isak’s lungs. He doesn’t know how he could have been so selfish. He’ll never see Even again, but Even will never see him. He collapses where he stands, overwhelmed by the sudden realization. He feels himself slipping into a panic attack, he can’t catch his breath. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been curled up by the glass door of the balcony by the time Eskild walks in, but he knows by the wounded sound he hears Eskild make that he looks pathetic. 

“Isak? What happened, are you ok?” Eskild asks. Isak is trembling slightly. “Ok….right...talk later...couch first…” Eskild seems to be talking himself through how to deal with the situation. “Ok, so, gonna get you up…” he mumbles, managing to get Isak upright, leading him inside and onto the couch. “Breathe, ok?”

Isak nods, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Are you back?” Eskild asks after Isak has finally stopped shaking. He nods and lets out a breath slowly. Eskild hands him a glass of water and he gulps it down. “Careful,” Eskild warns when Isak begins coughing after the glass is empty. 

“I just said goodbye to Even and he didn’t know. He doesn’t know. I didn’t tell him that that was the last time. He didn’t say it. I didn’t say it. I missed my last chance. He won’t know I love him. I missed it again.”

 

\---

Isak wakes to furious knocking on his door. 

“Isak! Isak!” It’s Eskild, but that can’t be right. He was just here an hour ago. He said he’d be back in time for dinner and they’d talk more about how to get Isak out. “Let me in! Isak! It’s an emergency!” Isak rushes over to the door. He hasn’t heard this level of desperation in Eskild’s voice before. Even when things are going horribly and Isak is truly injured, Eskild always manages to seem calm. Now, however, his voice is panicky in the way that he thinks his must sound half the time. As soon as he opens the door, Eskild rushes in and begins frantically digging through drawers in the kitchen. 

“What’s going on? What are we looking for?” Isak asks running over. 

“Where’d you put your phone Isak?” Eskild asks, pulling out another drawer. Isak tilts his head at the odd question. 

“Bedside table. Why?” He asks as Eskild runs over to grab it. 

“No time. I have to get it to Mahdi right now,” Eskild shoves it in his pocket and glances over at the balcony. “Do you think I’d be able to scale the trellis?” He asks. Isak gives him a skeptical look and Eskild backtracks. “Yeah, you’re right. Probably not a good idea. Might get shot. I’ll go through the kitchen.”

“What’s going on? Eskild!” Isak begs as Eskild starts for the door. 

“I’m being arrested on some made up charges. Something to do with treason I think. I’m really sorry Isak. I can’t do anything to help. Try to stay alive, ok?” He says, hurrying over to Isak and pulling him in for a brief hug. “Just don’t piss anyone off. I really mean it this time,” he says, grabbing Isak’s shoulders and staring into his eyes. He turns and runs out. 

In 24 hours, Isak has had two painfully brief goodbyes. He doesn’t know if he can handle anymore.

\---

It doesn’t get better from there. 

He doesn’t see anyone for several days following Eskild’s arrest. After a few days of food being dropped off while he’s showering or asleep, he finally catches on and stops trying to contact anyone who works toward taking (minimal) care of him. Magnus manages to stop by with news of Eskild’s unreasonably harsh (and illegal) sentencing but beyond the fact that his closest confidant is facing up to 20 years in prison and is likely being subjected to torture, he knows no more about the outside world. 

After a few more days, he learns that Mahdi, Jonas, and Elias were picked up on bum drug charges and were stuck in a local jail awaiting unfair trial. Isak honestly doesn’t know how Magnus has managed to avoid the heat but he imagines the intense, french braided head chef (a woman who used to be a doctor before turning to pastries and runs the kitchen like a surgery) might be shielding him some. Noora has escaped (barely) back to her university studies and Eva and Vilde are camping at Sana and Chris’s place. Even knowing this, Isak still worries that every sound he hears outside in the garden at night might be one of them getting hurt. 

After about a week and a half of isolation, he’s starting to think the ball’s been called off completely, but the next morning Maria shows up at his door with a team of stylists to get him ready and he resigns himself to his fate. 

But, as the day goes on, anger starts to build in his chest. He won’t do this anymore. He has nothing to lose anymore - what’s stopping him from just quitting? Just blowing everything up.

He could go out with a bang. Fuck the monarchy. Fuck shit up. Jonas would like that. 

He’s not sure what exactly it’ll be, but tonight, he’s going to take it all apart. He’s going to deconstruct every single one (or just as many as possible) of the lies. It ends tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> [Heather’s tumblr ](http://memeclassicist.tumblr.com)!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so happy to share this chapter!!!! Hope you all like it!!!
> 
> Hi. Well...I've been binge watching Versailles so... (if anyone who watches catches anything that reminds you of that show it's because I have a problem and have watched it too much hahahaha) -Chloë

“You will be seated here, to the left of your mother. Remember, we do not set down our utensils at any time. We eat what we are given and we clean our plate.” Isak nods, and the new etiquette instructor squeezes his shoulder. “You can remember that, right? I know your mental capacity for right and wrong is limited.” Isak nods again, and she releases her grip.

He’s not sure whether Linn was fired, but his lessons for the ball have been taken over by someone new. Someone not extremely kind. Fuck it. She’s a sadist. She’s been making him walk with a book on top of his head to practice his entrance into the ballroom, and several times she’s rapped him in the chest with the cane she carries, winding him mid-gavot. 

She hits the backs of his hands now, hard enough to sting but not enough to do damage, and he winces. They aren’t entirely healed and even her lighter taps are more painful than they should be.

“How do we toast?” She asks, and a new idea comes to his mind. A toast. He could make a toast. He could say that he’s being hurt and needs help. He could come out. He could expose everything. It would be perfect. And stupid. No, he realizes, that won’t work. They’ll stop him before he gets very far.

“Two words only,” he responds, and the teacher nods.

“Yes. Show me your posture and then we’re finished. I’ve fixed everything I can at this point. I told your parents you were helpless.”

He stands, making an effort to position his body in the way she’d told him, but still, she grips his shoulders, moving them roughly into place.

“There. Finally. Remember that,” she snaps, and he nods again. He’s not sure what else to do. He feels hopeless but he has a weapon. He knows things about the royal family. People want to know things about the royal family. People might listen to him. That’s the only thing that’s keeping him together. 

\---

“I can’t believe such filth was living under our own roof. Can you believe it, Terje?” His mother asks, taking a sip of tea from her delicate cup. Isak had been invited to stand in the corner with his own water to hear the order of the evening with his parents so they can begin to manufacture their masks for the night. Isak is finding it far harder to keep his face neutral in light of their current conversation topic: the recent arrests on false treason charges. 

“I certainly can’t. It just goes to show how dangerous those people are,” his father responds, and Isak has to swallow his anger. An outburst now won’t do any good. They’re talking about Eskild.

“They need to be taught a lesson. And I assure you, he’s being taught a lesson. It’s enough his ideology infected our son -” Isak wipes the tears from his cheeks, and though he hoped his mother wouldn’t notice, she turns her attention to him. “You’ll thank us, Isak. That pervert probably violated you when you were younger. We should have seen the signs. Instead, we let that f-” Isak can’t hold back his anger.

“Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you dare say that word,” he hisses, and Marianne scoffs, almost amused. Still, rage is flickering in her eyes. She turns toward him, raising her eyebrows.

“Which word? Faggot?” He shoves her before he can stop himself, and she slaps him harshly. He tastes blood and sees stars for a moment. “How hard is it to keep your mouth shut?”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, and she shakes her head.

“You’d better be. I expect perfection tonight, understand? Nothing less. There will be consequences if expectations are not met.”

Isak takes a deep breath.

“I understand.”

\---

While Isak showers he wonders if there are any other ways he could get out of the castle. 

Maybe he could get himself admitted to a hospital. It won’t work, he realizes. No matter what happens to him today he won’t be leaving his room to go anywhere other than to the ball. 

Maybe he could get himself arrested? That might be an even worse idea. 

He’ll figure it out. When the time is right, he’ll know. Or, he hopes he will.

\---

Isak stares at his reflection in the full-length mirror. He wonders how much the crown perched on his head would sell for. It’s gorgeous, but he can’t help but think about what a waste it is. 

His chest is covered in pins and sashes and gold embroidery - he’s sewn into the suit, technically. It’s blue this year, which is odd because it’s almost always red, but Maria said it had something to do with Emma. Christ, he’d almost forgotten about Emma. She was supposed to be his date, and her favorite color was blue. She’s not coming now - as far as Isak knows she’s back in Thoara - but the color stuck.

His hands are, of course, concealed in white gloves. There are still yellow-green bruises in places, and his left hand still aches, but overall they feel much better. But, he’s glad they’re covered. It seems absurd, but looking at them just reminds him of Even.

Maria is frowning, pinching fabric near his shoulders. 

“You’ve lost more weight. How is that?” She asks, mostly to herself, and Isak shrugs slightly. 

“Not feeling so well lately,” he says vaguely, and she hums in response, a few pins between her teeth. As she adjusts the fabric, he starts to think about Noora. Christ...she didn’t do anything wrong but she was dragged into this mess. She barely escaped the bullshit charges almost every other one of his friends was brought up on. She could’ve lost everything, just because of Isak. The thought makes his stomach twist.

Finally, Maria brushes off his shoulders, shifting the circle of gold on his head slightly.

“Time to go,” she says, so Isak lets himself be led down to the main corridor and waits outside the double doors to the ballroom. He closes his eyes, gathering as much courage as he can.

\---

The doors swing open, and he hears the procession music begin to play. His mother and father stand in front of him, and make their way into the hall first, stepping in time with the music. There’s polite applause as they enter, and nausea starts to rise in Isak’s stomach when he realizes it’s his turn.

He takes a shaking, deep breath and makes himself move. The applause picks up as he enters, and he concentrates on making his steps match the beat. He can feel his heart hammering in his chest, he catches a glimpse of something in the crowd. A person.

Blonde hair. Blue eyes. He stops breathing, missing a step before he realizes it isn’t who he thinks it is. He feels a strange mixture of relief and worry. 

Christ. What if Even is locked up just like Eskild? What if he’s back in Waeluryn, hiding? What if he’s -? Isak stops his train of thought there, focusing his attention back on his footsteps. Even isn’t dead. Even can’t be dead.

When he reaches his seat, he’s shaking and is relieved to not have to support his own weight anymore. His mother fixes him with a glare and he sighs to himself. Hopefully, if his “plan” works well he won’t have to face her so-called “consequences.”

By the time the meal is over, he’s no closer to a solution, and now he’ll be forced to mingle and dance. He walks out to the center of the floor, smiling slightly, nodding at whoever meets his gaze. The music plays quietly in the background, and Isak is instantly swarmed by girls in dresses. 

“Hi!” One says, touching his arm, and he forces himself to smile.

“Nice to meet you,” he says, and she giggles, blushing furiously. Another girl touches his shoulder.

“Are you hungry?” She asks, and before Isak can answer, a chorus of other girls start to chime in. He just nods, letting their voices blend together until he can’t distinguish one from the other. Someone hands him a drink, someone asks him to dance. He does what’s expected of him.

He’s trying to keep an eye out for an opportunity to make a move. He needs it to be big. More than that, it has to be important. He doesn’t want to be a child throwing a tantrum. This should be important.

\---

“You’re Isak,” a girl says, and he turns his head, nodding soberly. The two of them are standing in the small courtyard, and Isak hopes no one else will come to try and talk to him. He’d come out here to escape the attention for a bit and managed to wander into another conversation.“It’s so incredible to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” he says, mustering as much kindness as he can. The girl fidgets for a moment before speaking.

“I didn’t know you had so many friends. I was, uh, surprised to see you in Vilde’s video.” Isak bites his lip.

“She’s a sweet girl.” He’s anticipating the next question but is surprised when it isn’t what he expected.

“I think your friendship with Even is really sweet. I’ve heard some rumors -” He cuts her off.

“They’re true.” She looks understandably shocked.

“What?”

“Whatever rumors you heard, they’re true. All the ‘official’ stuff in magazines is garbage.” He stops himself just short of actually saying what he means.

“So you and Even -?”

“Yes.” There are a few moments of silence. “Do me a favor?”

“Uh, yeah, sure, of course!” The girl says, and Isak smiles slightly.

“If something happens tonight, just...record it. On your phone or something. If you have one.” The girl looks slightly baffled but nods, giving him a smile back.

“It was...amazing to meet you. Really,” she says, and the admiration in her voice makes Isak’s stomach fall. 

“It was amazing to meet you too,” he says, and she beams.

“Good luck, Isak.”

\---

A few hours later, when he’s finishing a conversation with some dignitary from Iralia, he sees something in the corner of his eye. When he turns his head it’s gone, but he catches another flash and whirls around to try and see more clearly.

This time, he’s right. The blonde hair, the blue eyes. It’s Even. He’s sure of it. It seems impossible but he gets another look at the boy in the tuxedo across the room and it’s reaffirmed. Even. He’s here.

Before he can stop himself he’s walking across the floor, blind to everything but the blonde boy at the center. Every moment seems to flash through his mind, every moment he’s shared with Even. The night they met - the way his smile looked the first time Isak saw it. The burgers they ate in that shitty restaurant. The night they met up at the coffee shop with the neon blue sign - the bright shadows on his face. 

Their first kiss. The nap they took in Even’s dorm room. The soft mornings and warm nights - every one is playing out again in his mind. Over and over.

Finally, he’s there. They’re together, and Even is smiling wider than Isak’s ever seen him smile.

He doesn’t stop, doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around him and kiss him. Harder than he ever has. Isak feels his crown slipping off but Even seems to read his mind because his hand comes up to hold it in place. 

The music has stopped. Even laughs against his mouth, and Isak pulls him closer. Closer and closer and closer until there’s no distance between them.

Suddenly he is weightless. He feels Even tense before he really feels the arms latching around him, harshly pulling him backward. Only a split second has passed, but he’s already several feet from Even. His instincts kick in and he begins flailing like he’s been taught in his countless security briefings. He sees Even in a similar situation and he begins to scream.

“Even! Stop, let him go!” He shouts, his heart pounding in his throat. There’s blood on Even’s face. “Please help me!” Then it hits him. This is his chance. “I’m being held against my will!” It’s working. He stops struggling for a second and goes slack. Dead weight. The guards’ arms loosen slightly and Isak rears back and headbutts the one behind him, trying anything he can manage to break free. “I’m gay! I’m abused I need help!” The conversations start to drift back in and Isak can’t believe it. Are they going to ignore the fact that he’s having a fit? “THIS IS NOT A JOKE. I NEED HELP!” Even looks panicked, two men are holding him to the ground. His nose is bleeding, red smeared on the white marble floor. “SOMEBODY HELP THE FUCKING LOVE OF MY LIFE! THAT IS MY BOYFRIEND!” That at least seems to get their attention. The room is dead silent. 

“Enough,” the Queen commands, standing from her seat at the long table at the head of the room. The struggles halt. “Leave him to me, he’s disturbed.”

“Why? So you can break my hands again?” Isak asks. There’s a gasp from the crowd and Isak is pretty sure it’s his new friend from the gardens. He did tell her to record everything, he just hopes she actually took his words to heart. 

“Everything I do is for the benefit of our country. For your benefit.”

“Fuck you!” He shouts back, and she walks toward him, motioning for the guards to let him go. They do, and he stumbles but stays upright. She grips his chin roughly. “What are you gonna do? In front of all these people?” He hisses, and she scowls. 

“You’re forgetting who’s in charge,” she whispers back. “I am the Queen and as such, I am one-half of this country. My word is law. You’ve crossed me for the last time.” She pushes him away and he falls hard on his side, sliding slightly. “Get up!” She shouts, and he does, shaking, setting his jaw.

“I won’t be a part of a regime that locks up anyone who threatens the crown. Not anymore,” he says and looks around at the crowd. “She locked up my friends!”

“You sound like a child,” she snaps.

“You locked up the man who I consider my brother and had him tortured without evidence,”

“Ha!” She gets out. “That would be tragic. Then where would we be? A family with two unsuitable heirs and a deceased daughter.”

The room goes absolutely silent. Isak never met Lea - he was born two years after she died, but he knew she was their favorite thing on earth. Lea - sweet, perfect Lea. Maybe that had been Isak’s problem all along. He wasn’t her.

“To clarify: unsuitable because we’re both queer. As is my boyfriend, who’s lying bleeding over there.” He shifts his gaze to Even, who’s stopped struggling but is still being held down.

“Your _boyfriend_ is trespassing on private property. He was not invited.” 

“He’s my guest,” a girl’s voice says, and Sana - the last person Isak would ever expect - steps forward from the crowd. What was Sana doing here? “I was told I could bring a guest. I was invited. Is there a problem?” For the life of him, he can’t remember why Sana would get an invitation. He’ll have to ask her later. If there is a later. Even coughs slightly, sitting up and trying to stem the bleeding from his nose. 

“He’s not welcome here,” The queen says.

“On what grounds?” Isak hears Even’s voice for the first time and his heart jumps into his throat. Even is in enough danger as it is, he doesn’t need to be exacerbating the circumstances.

“Corrupting the prince,” the King responds for the first time. Even smiles slightly and glances at Isak. 

“They have a point,” he says with a wink. Isak frowns and Even takes another approach. “I have only respect and love for your son. And he…”

“I love him,” Isak says staring into Evens eyes. Even looks shocked.

“Enough of this! It’s ridiculous!” The queen says. “Everyone out. This is over.”

\--

\---> _Breaking news! Inside sources say that Prince Isak is involved in an illicit affair with college student Even Bech Naesheim._

\----> OMG! WE KNEW IT! WE FUCKING CALLED IT.  
\------>That seems like an inappropriate thing to say. Have you seen the other articles? He might be seriously injured. Like yaaayyy we were right. So glad your parents have found cause to abuse you.  
\-------->That is clearly not what they meant.  
\---------->REPRESENTATION!!! YESSSSS!  
\------------>I’M SO PROUD OF MY SMOL GAY SONS  
\-------------->I’m in tears this is the best day of my life.  
\---------------->I love everything about this headline. “Illicit affair.” hahahahahaha

\---> _Sources have confirmed the Prince has sustained injuries from parental abuse, both in the past and present._  
\----- >MY POOR BABY! NOOOOOO!  
\-------> (we were right about the hands. we should have done something)  
\--------->Do we know if this is just because the people in charge of our country are monsters or…  
\----------->I mean...yes? 

 

\---> _Eskild Tryggvasson, long time aide of the Prince, along with several related individuals, has been released from custody and had his record expunged._  
\------ >This is so sad. It sounds like this guy raised Isak? And was locked up because he’s gay  
\--------> Question for the Tumblr lawyers: Can he sue? What can they do?

 

\---> _Public backlash has been swift, and though the monarchy has no check of power, they have repealed several controversial pieces of legislation that have curtailed queer rights for many decades._  
\------ >Fucking finally.  
\-------->It’s been 84 years.  
\---------->this is serious. Stop bringing that meme trash here  
\------------>fuck you it’s high quality meme trash  
\-------------->This is awesome. Who wants to get married?  
\---------------->I’ll do it! Where and when? Also what’s your name?  
\------------------>Louise. Yours?  
\-------------------->Amy. Free next Saturday?  
\---------------------->Yep.  
\------------------------> This is awesome. I ship it.

 

\---> _Little information is known about the wellbeing of the Prince, but many predict he may have severe bodily injury._  
\------- > Can we get him to attend our gay survivors of abuse group next week?  
\---------->I’ll ask him. ;)  
\------------->HOLY FUCK. THAT’S EVEN. THAT”S EVENS URL IM ASKAJDGSFLAK  
\--------------->Is he ok? What’s going on?  
\------------------>I’ve been better. I’m ok. I’m out of the palace and hiding out. I’ll be there.  
\--------------------> HOLY FUCK. THAT’S ISAK????!!!! @ADRISAK IS CONFIRMED ISAK IM SCREAMING GUYS  
\-----------------------> I’m Shook. :)

 

\---> has anyone checked e_box_420?? His account is off private. 100% EBN.  
\-----> omg ur right. Holy shit there are pics of isak from months ago????  
\-------->this is so cute im dying  
\-----------> ok but straight up im lowkey mad at even?? He had something like 6k when he was private and he was posting this shit knowing what would happen if q+k valtersen found out.  
\-------------->he wouldn’t do it if isak didn’t want him to  
\---------------->Guys chill. I knew what was up. I thought it was cute.  
\------------------>ISAK JUST TOLD US TO CHILL. IM DED  
\-------------------->I mean we lived together for a long time at my house??? That might be more what did it???? I know he was alright with it but I do feel a bit at fault.  
\----------------------> shut up Ev it’s not your fault you’re perfect  
\-------------------------> THEY’RE ARGUING ON MY POST FUCK ME UP <3  
\--------------------------->Thanks love. Your post is the only place we want to argue ;)

 

\--->[Look at the cover!!! ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159606459392/modern-royalty-au) Ahhh!!!!  
\---->amazing :)

 

\--->[LOOK AT MY GAY SONS. LOOK AT THEIR LOVE.](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/159606461102/modern-royalty-au)  
\----->We’re frickin adorable. Wow.  
\-------> Can I just say I love Even’s blog? Gaaaahhhhhh. Real life angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter. There will be a sequel but it might not come about for a bit (we're still plotting it out and working on other things). We will let you guys know :)
> 
> We love all of you!!! :)

“Have you seen the base of the lamp?” Isak calls out, digging through one of the many boxes sitting half full in what will soon be his and Even’s living room. 

“I think you put it in the box labeled ‘Random 3’ because you said that it needed a heavy base so it wouldn’t move in the van?” Even shouts back from their (bathroom?). Isak checks. Right where Even said it would be. 

“What about the pillow cases? I thought they were in textiles. Did they get moved to _bedroom_?” 

“No, they’re in with the bath towels but at the bottom, I think?” Even sounds less sure about this one but he’s still right. 

After the entire ordeal two months ago, Isak and Even had been splitting their time between hospitals, hotels, friends’ houses, and Even’s moms’ house. Their new place is near the college, only a 5-minute walk. It’s an apartment (a fairly nice one if Isak is being entirely honest). There’s lots of natural light and honey-colored wood floors. It smells freshly painted and bright and like everything his room in the palace didn’t. In time it will smell like Even and... _them_. Isak can’t wait. 

“Great! Thanks. I think we’re done for the night,” he says, pulling out the pillow cases.   
“You wanna go to sleep?” Even asks, and Isak nods. He’s exhausted. Even though he knew intellectually that moving would be a long, tiring process, actually following through with it has been...long and tiring. The boxes are never-ending. His back aches. He has lost every pair of socks somewhere between _“Even bedroom 1”_ and _“Kitchenwares. Misc.”_. He is of course overjoyed (relieved?) to finally be in an actual home (with Even!), but it has been very trying. “Hey, you ok?” Even asks and Isak starts.

“Yeah, sorry. What?” He asks. He must have zoned out. 

 

“Just checking up on you. Is it a bit soon to be lifting everything? I mean. Your ribs were screwed up until a few weeks ago. And…” 

“Just tired,” Isak reassures, smiling more weakly than he would like. 

“Ok.” Even smiles back and walks over to wrap Isak in his arms. He sways them slightly. “We’ll go to sleep now and then we can wake up in the morning, eat cereal, unpack, and then we’re going on a date. I’ll take you out to lunch. My treat. Anywhere you want. We can get a feel for the neighborhood and be super adorable.” Isak smiles. They know the area really well as they’ve been practically living five minutes away for the past month, but it’s still fun to pretend that they’ve just packed up their lives. It makes the move seem more like a fun fresh start and less like a terror and pain filled escape. 

“Super adorable? Nah.” He jokes back.

“Then what are we if we aren’t the cutest?” Even lifts an eyebrow.

“We’re...the best,” he states definitively before yawning and Even laughs. 

“Yeah. The very sleepy best. We’ve done enough for today. Come on.” Even starts to pull back but Isak holds him in place, running his fingers carefully over Even’s collarbone.

“I just want to say...I’m so glad I crashed into you. There’s...I’m so happy.” He can barely keep his voice from breaking. Even kisses his forehead.

“I’m so glad I offered you a burger. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

\---

“I still think we should get a cat. Have you ever tried to pet a fish? Fish are food,” Even says for what must be the 10th time. They’re walking to their usual sandwich shop. It’s been a staple of their diet since they moved closer to NRU two weeks ago (and during their brief (illegal) dorm sharing before that). It’s small and secluded without feeling completely cut off from the college town. It’s modern (enough) but still has the same cozy feel they’ve come to love.

“I really like cats, but I don’t think we can take care of one. I’m bad at taking care of myself. Why should I try to take care of another life on top of mine?” Isak argues. 

“I’m good at taking care of you, Iss. Cats are good therapy. It’s science.”

“What if it hates me?” Isak asks, suddenly more worried. Even laughs, pulling Isak closer and placing a kiss on his cheek. They’re walking down the sidewalk, and Isak is acutely aware of the paparazzi behind them. 

“Of course it won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re the sweetest boy on earth. Who wouldn’t like you?” Isak feels himself blush. 

They keep walking, hand in hand, before they get to the small sandwich shop. They sit in their usual booth and order their usual meals. Well, Even orders. Since they’ve been spending more time together Even has been absolutely insane about what Isak is eating. So, protein, starches, and other things that Isak rarely ever ate before.

Today, he’s having something with chicken, avocado, and bacon, which quickly gets picked off and put on the side. The first time he’d done this he’d offered it to Even, but he had just shaken his head and said that after years of practically living with his Muslim friends, he’d cut pig products out of his diet. 

Luckily, Even still buys him coffee when he goes grocery shopping. Isak doesn’t know what he’d do if Even didn’t let him drink coffee - he’d already cut out ramen and pop tarts (“too much sodium”). Truth be told, it was probably for the best. Since he started eating better he gained back some of the weight he lost and he definitely had more energy than ever. But Christ, he misses ramen. 

“Oh my gosh, hi!” Isak looks up from his plate to see a young girl standing by their booth. He forces a smile.

“Hi.”

“I just have to say I’m a huge fan.” Isak is ready to tune out the rest of her speech before he hears the next words. “I came out to my parents because of you.” Finally, Isak’s smile becomes genuine.

“Really?” he asks, his voice quiet and half shocked. She nods.

“Yeah, and I never would’ve done it if it hadn’t been for you, so, thank you. So much.” Isak is practically speechless.

“No, thank you. I just...wow. I mean. Uh...I’m so glad.”

“I’m also a big fan of you,” she says turning to Even. “I love your videos. Ummmm. That’s pretty much it. It was nice meeting you.” She gives them one last nervous smile and wave before leaving, joining a group of girls huddled by the door.

As she walks away, Isak thinks - for the first time - that maybe he’s made things better.

 

\---

 

When he first walks through the door, he expects the whispers to start immediately. When they don’t, he expects them to start after his sign in. They never do. 

It’s the survivors of abuse meeting Even convinced him to attend. He had agreed weeks ago on Tumblr but had never followed through. Until today.

Now, he’s here, listening to the others tell their stories, his stomach churning with anxiety.

“Would you like to go next?” Someone asks, and it’s a few moments before he realizes they’re talking to him.

“Uh, I...No. That’s alright.” For now, he’s not ready. Maybe one day he will be, but not today.

 

\---

 

“Did we remember to get the raspberries?” Even asks as Isak unlocks the door to their flat. He shifts slightly to balance the plastic grocery bags better in his hands.

“I think so. If we didn’t it’s fine. They’re just garnish.”

“Just garnish? The raspberries elevate the simple blend of flavors and ingredients to new heights. It isn’t just a garnish. It’s the glue.”

“Glue? Maybe we should leave it out then,” Isak jokes, pushing the door open with his shoulder. Even sets down the bags on the countertop, immediately starting to unpack.

“I know you wanna help but you suck at cooking, so let me do most of the work, ok?” Even asks, and Isak scoffs.

“I’m a great cook.”

“You know how to boil water and that’s about it,” Even says, putting something into the freezer.

“Boiling water is a skill,” Isak announces.

“Right. Of course.”

“Shut up,” Isak says trying not to laugh.

 

\---

 

“You nervous baby?” Even asks. Isak glances up at him. He knows that he must just be making conversation because Isak is currently clinging to Even for dear life and trembling. He’s already had a near panic attack (or two) in the past 6 hours, though luckily he was able to avoid a full-on breakdown. He nods and Even kisses his cheek gingerly. “You’re gonna be ok. You trust me?”

“Yes,” he answers, and Even kisses his temple.

“Everything is gonna be just fine. You only have two of these to get through.” The soft sound of his voice alone makes Isak smile, and he kisses him back gently.

“Love you,” Isak whispers, all too aware of how hard his voice is shaking. He steps back and Even smoothes his dress shirt by rubbing his shoulders.

“We’re back in 1-minute people!” The harsh voice of the producer shouts, and someone grabs Isak by the shoulder. 

“I love you too,” Even whispers back, just in time. Only a moment later Isak is sitting in an uncomfortable armchair, PAs fussing with his hair and makeup and microphone. The host, Anne Johnson - a piece of work who reports on the most dramatic and celebrity-ridden stories she can find - is seated in the opposite chair, making odd shapes with her mouth. She gives him an artificial little smile, and he smiles back.

“And we are live in 2, 3,..!”

“And we are joined by Prince Isak Valtersen! He’s been in the headlines recently because of his harrowing and heart-wrenching journey, and he’s here tonight to give us the true story of his struggle and the man who finally made him complete. Isak, it’s amazing to have you here with us tonight.”

“It’s good to be here,” he says, hoping the camera isn’t catching his shaking hands.

“You seem nervous!” She points out, and he has to laugh.

“Well, this is my first time talking about all this.” She nods, pursing her lips.

“Let’s start with the simple things. I’m sure many viewers have been worried about your health and safety -”

“I’m fine,” he cuts in, and the producer glares at him. No more of that then.

“That’s good to hear! There have been rumors of abuse, covered up by years of conspiracy, can you confirm or deny any of those?” Isak takes a deep breath.

“I’m not sure exactly what rumors are out there, so I can’t speak to those, but…” He feels his throat starting to close up, and he takes another breath.

“I know, it’s an emotional subject.” The sugary pity in her voice makes him uncomfortable.

“I, uh...To answer your question, yes, I was a victim of abuse.”

“A tragedy. Truly. Now, to your knight in shining armor.” [A picture flashes up on the screen beside them ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/160123542537/modern-royalty-au). Isak is surprised the focus is shifting so quickly but is glad to not have to explain everything in depth. 

“Um...yeah. He’s...my rock.” His heart clenches slightly in his chest. 

“Mmmmmm. Yeah, with those muscles! I bet,” she says, and Isak nods, even though it makes his stomach twist. “But really, we’ve only heard second or third-hand accounts of your rescue that night. For those viewers who don’t know, I’ll recap some of the basic facts.” Isak steels himself. “It was the night of the annual ball, there was a confrontation between you and your mother which resulted in you screaming for help. We saw all of that in this video,” she pauses to play a clip of the video the girl in the garden had taken and released on her twitter. “But what really happened? What was going through your mind as you desperately clawed your way to freedom?”

“It...it’s really a blur,” he says at first, disoriented after seeing the footage. Then he remembers what Linn suggested he say when they met to discuss the interviews. “It was life or death. For me and...everyone I loved.”

“What was it like seeing Even bleeding on the floor?”

“It…” The invisible fist around his throat tightens and he feels his eyes prickle with tears. 

“I can see this is very hard for you,” Anne Johnson says, and holds out a box of tissues she had ready by her seat.

“It’s ok, I’m fine,” he says swiping away the tears with his hand. He doesn’t want to be that cliche celebrity that takes a tissue from Anne fucking Johnson. “I had just found him again and then I thought I was going to lose him. I had been kept in isolation for a while and I wasn’t doing very well, so it was very painful to be near someone who I loved unconditionally and be torn away immediately.”

“So hard, so painful, I can imagine,” she says, making what she must think is a sympathetic face. “That brings us to another question. How did you manage to cope throughout the years? I can’t imagine that the beatings from your parents were the only type of hits you were taking.” She raises her eyebrows, touching a finger to her chin.

“Sorry, I don’t...I don’t understand your question,” Isak replies, tilting his head. He does, but he doesn’t know why she’d be asking him this. It seems like a pretty classless question.

“Like all teenagers, I’m sure you used drugs and alcohol to-” He cuts her off.

“No, no, I didn’t. I had friends and allies who helped me and I tried to get out and walk around as much as possible. If anyone has had a conversation with a teenager they thought looked like the prince around the castle, it was probably me. I tried to keep my life bearable.”

“You must have been terribly sad.”

“Yeah. I did cry a lot. Living in that environment...it really fu...screwed me up. I don’t know.”

“But as we all know, everything changed once you met Even. Not a prince but your prince charming.”

“I love Even, but the issues I have-”

“Of course nothing can be fixed overnight, but I think we can all agree you took an 180 turn after meeting your boyfriend of now 6 months.”

“One of the biggest problems is the lack of checks on the monarchy. I was trapped in a horrible environment for the majority of my life because I had no way to tell anyone. I had to rely on public opinion to escape. This wasn’t the first time I had tried to get help. I went to the police when I was small and didn’t know that it would do me no good. This blatant lack of control that our nation has over the upper echelons of the government needs to be fixed.”

“With all due respect, I don’t really think you have the authority to talk politics. And our discussion tonight isn’t concerning that either. Tell us, were any of your relationships with girls real? Are you bisexual?”

“No. I can safely say I’ve never been attracted to a woman. My PR relationship with Sara ended in broken bones and internal bleeding. With Emma, pneumonia and broken ribs.”

“Oh my! So your relationship with Emma was a ruse?”

“Yes. I wish she’d known, but it was a complicated situation.”

“And Eva?”

“Eva is one of my closest friends, but I’m gay, and she is in a committed long-term relationship with one of the most lovely people I’ve ever met.”

“I see. So you will be heading to Noulyra Royal University in the fall with Even. Will you be rooming together? How will you balance romance and school work?”

“I don’t really think it will be a problem. I have always dreamed of going to ‘real’ school with other people. There are so many things I want to learn. I never knew that I could take so many varieties of-”

“Yes, how interesting. I’m afraid that’s all the time we have. It’s been incredible speaking with you.” She turns to face one of the cameras. “Join us tomorrow night when we’ll be interviewing Sana Bakkoush, daughter of one of the most powerful families in Baewyth and a member of the Prince’s exclusive inner circle.”

“And we’re clear! Great job everybody!” The producer shouts, and Isak almost runs into Even’s arms.

“I can’t do that again. It was horrible. I just can’t,” he mutters into Even’s neck. 

“Hey. Hey! Shhhhhh...you’ll be ok. We knew this one would be bad. But remember? We chose the next one together. Remember? We watched all of those videos and he was so nice. He was good with everyone. Always nice, remember?” Even is rubbing his back. Isak breathes out, trying to relax. 

“I wanna go home,” he mumbles and Even kisses his forehead.

“How about you get changed into the shirt you picked and we go get food. If you still feel like going home after that we can call. They’ll definitely understand.”

“But if I put on the shirt and don’t go then my shirt will be dirty and I can’t wear it when I actually give the interview.” Even laughs softly, kissing him again.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re neurotic, babe? You can wear one my shirts if you really want.”

“I hate that woman,” Isak whispers, and Even squeezes his hand.

\---

They head off immediately to lunch. Somewhere Isak likes. He barely feels present, barely in his body. God, he hates talking about all this stuff. Why did he agree to any of this?

He ends up pushing his meal around on his plate, too nervous to eat. 

On the train ride to the studio, he sits as close to Even as he can, his head resting on the older boy’s shoulder. He knows people are taking pictures, but he doesn’t care. Not right now.

“Everything’s ok,” Even repeats for what feels like the 20th time. Isak nods, even though he’s not completely convinced.

\---

 

“Hey! I’m Matt!” The interviewer approaches the two of them as they walk in, and he holds out a hand. 

“Hi, Matt,” Isak says taking his hand. “I’m Isak.” 

“Nice to meet you Isak.” Even clears his throat.

“And I’m Even,” he says. Isak can hear the strangely protective tone in his voice.

“Nice to meet you both. I just wanted to say hi before we actually talked with the cameras on so it isn’t super awkward. I was thinking we could just chill and talk about whatever you want? A conversation and not an interrogation? If you want me to ask anything specific or steer the conversation towards or away from anything, just let me know. I like your shirt. Star Wars. Cool.”

Isak can’t tell if the guy is joking, so he just smiles and nods. Even rests a hand on his shoulder. 

“We can totally talk about Star Wars later if you want. I also saw that you’re on Tumblr? We can talk a bit about that if you want? Or like how social media shapes public perception?” Matt asks, and Isak takes a deep breath.

“I think Isak would just want to stick to light stuff,” Even interjects, looking over at Isak in concern. “We were just over at Anne Johnson’s show…” Matt winces in sympathy. 

“No, I...I’d rather talk about serious stuff, honestly. I don’t care if people know my favorite color. I mean they can but, whatever. I sort of hate interviews so I’d rather talk about the important things if that makes sense,” Isak clarifies.

“...Right. Our show is a little more...I don’t want to steamroll you, but it’s a little bit less serious. It’s way more casual. We can talk as long as you want and if you need us to cut anything out, we’ll let you be there when we edit if you’re really concerned?”

“I just want to be able to tell my story.” Matt narrows his eyes, clearly trying to find the right response.

“Look, we can talk about it, but like I said, our show is casual. It’s light. If you ever feel uncomfortable, just tell me and we can take a break or somehow change what we’re doing.”

“So what are you saying?” Isak asks, and Matt sighs.

“Internet journalism isn’t so concerned with the details of abuse or politics or...heavy things.   
If you want it in, it will definitely be in. Don’t feel like you have to talk about painful things but if you do, we will give you a platform to share. It just isn’t my forte. I’m gonna do my best, but I just want to give you a heads up. Like, if I seem to be steering you away from the heavy stuff, that’s just a habit. I’m not trying to do that. I think what you have to say is incredibly important, but my job security usually relies on me keeping movie stars from swearing too much when describing their movie that is aimed at 10-year-olds.”

“We saw that! You’re a meme dude! He kept dropping F-bombs. Your face!” Even cuts in. Isak laughs.

“Yeah, that was me,” Matt says with a hint of pride. “Anyway, it’s all you, Isak.”

They sit in a somewhat similar configuration to the Anne Johnson interview, but the chairs are much more modern and much closer together. Also, Isak gets a coffee, which he’s incredibly grateful for. Also, it’s not live, which is an incredible weight off his shoulders.

“We’re rolling,” a producer says, and Matt immediately shifts into a brighter persona.

“Hey guys! It’s Matt, and we’re here today with HRH Isak.” Isak gives a little wave, taking a sip of his coffee. “As many of you guys already know, Isak’s been through some stuff lately. Good and bad, right?”

“Yeah. Good lately, bad before that.”

“I know you want to set the record straight about what happened 2 months back, and I want to give you the chance to do that, but first I have to ask about the guy that everyone is obsessed with. Your boyfriend. Even Bech Naesheim.” The wall of screens behind them lights up with a [photo of the two of them ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/160123568012/modern-royalty-au). “He’s so gorgeous.”

“He’s definitely gorgeous,” Isak smiles, catching Even’s eye from where he’s standing off camera.

“How’d you meet if you don’t mind sharing?” It all comes rushing back, and Isak feels himself blush.

“I snuck out and he bumped into me and gave me a corny pickup line and bought me a burger. At 1 AM. And I gave him a fake name.”

“So that’s the key to relationships then? I should take notes.”

“A fake name and a burger. And a rap album. We listened to Nas.”

“Nice! So is your music taste more along the rap side of things? Eclectic?”

“Anything that Even listens to,” Isak laughs. “But seriously, pretty much anything. My not-so-guilty pleasure...musicals and movie soundtracks.” 

“And Even likes those?”

“Fuck no.” 

Even laughs softly off camera.

“Would you say Even saved you? I know you’ve been quoted saying something like that a few times.” Isak takes another sip of coffee, trying to swallow some of his nerves.

“Sort of. I mean...he was my reason, but ultimately I had to fight pretty hard to save myself. He’s my support though.”

“Can you walk us through what happened for anyone who doesn’t stalk you or read a paper?”

“Sana invited Even to the ball, which I can’t stop thanking her for, and I saw him...about three hours in? I’d been planning on doing something that night but I wasn’t sure what exactly that was until I saw him. I...kissed him, and we both got tackled by security guards and I started screaming. Anything that I could think of. Then my mother came and...talked to me, and dismissed the party, and long story short, Sana had set up some elaborate plan that made it possible for Even and I to get out of the city. Even broke his nose and a couple ribs -”

“And you nursed him back to health?” Isak has to laugh. Remembering the few days after the ball is almost as bad as it was to live them. Seeing Even that hurt was something he never wanted to think about ever again. His face twisted up in pain, his breath coming in short gasps - it was hell knowing he couldn’t do anything make it better.

“I...I guess you could put it like that-”

“Hey!” comes Even’s joking voice from offscreen. 

“Honestly, I’m sort of terrible at that stuff, but I tried my best. We ended up living with Sana for a week or so before we moved in with Eskild, who was my aide. We bounced around a little while after that, Even went back to school, but now we have our own place.” Matt nods, flipping through a stack of index cards with the studio logo emblazoned on the back.

“How are things with your parents?” He finally asks, and Isak takes another sip from his mug, again trying to drown his anxiety.

“They’re being investigated right now and we’re not entirely sure how that will pan out. Currently, I’m...next in line for the throne.” Saying it out loud gives him an ache in his chest.

 

“Well shit.”

“Yeah. It’s a bit much. I’ll get to go to school and everything, but I might be called away part way through or something.”

“What do you want to study?”

“What don’t I want to study is probably the better question. I’m leaning towards the sciences, maybe biology or pre-med? I don’t know. I’m also interested in gender or women’s studies and public policy. Maybe that? I never went to school, I had a tutor, so even being in a class will be strange but I’ll need to study some stuff that will help me rule if that is what happens. I also just want to take advantage of the course offerings.”

“Do you want to be king?” Matt asks curiously. 

“I honestly thought I would die before this became a thing, so I never really considered it. I’m worried but I think I can do it.” Isak looks down at his hands. 

“Wow. Well I think that you can too!” 

He hopes so.

\---

“Look at that one!” Even calls out softly. His excitement is palpable and Isak quickly walks over to meet him. “It looks like Noora!” Isak laughs and shakes his head. 

“Nope. That’s scary. It looks exactly like her except a cat.” The pet store is busy, but luckily, no one seems to have noticed them. Isak had finally given in and agreed to _consider_ the possibility of getting a cat.

“I know! Red lipstick and they’d be identical.”

“I was looking at the kittens over there…” His voice trails off.

“Yeah? Any of them stand out?” 

“Yeah. Look at…uh,” he trails off again, looking around for the kitten he’d been eyeing. “That one,” he finishes, pointing.

A few minutes later, he’s holding the kitten. He’s smiling so hard it almost hurts. It’s only now he’s realizing he’s never actually touched a cat. It seems stupid, but all his time in the castle left him pretty isolated.

“I think she likes you,” Even says.

“Yeah?”

“Of course. She’s purring. That’s good.” Now that Even’s mentioned it, Isak can feel the soft vibrations coming from the tiny body.

“You think we should, um-”

“Take her home? Yes,” Even says, nodding. Isak laughs.

“You really think so?” Even nods again. “I think I know what I want to name her.”

“Let me guess. Padme or Leia?” He asks and Isak scoffs.

“What makes you think that?” He says raising his eyebrows. Even smirks, taking the kitten carefully. 

“You’re trash for Star Wars.”

\---

“I kind of can’t believe this is real,” Isak whispers when they’re halfway through dinner, the huge booth packed with nine people even though it’s made for six. Sana, Mahdi, Vilde, Eva, Jonas, Eskild, Noora, and the two of them are in the corner of the sushi place.

“Believe it,” Even whispers back.

“I want to make a toast,” Eskild says suddenly, and the table almost immediately quiets. Eskild raises his glass. “A toast to my pretty prince, my bean, my baby boy, Isak. He’s all grown up and he’s gonna do some fucking amazing things, let me tell you. To Isak!” There’s a disorganized chorus of responses and a clinking of glasses, and the conversation dips back into its normal volume.

The words moved something in him, though, and now he feels like he might cry. Has he grown up? He’s only swapped from being dependent on Eskild to being dependent on Even - what’s going to happen if he has to be king? That’s too much. It’s overwhelming.

He spends the rest of the night in a haze, his anxiety rattling around behind his eyes.

\---

It all comes crashing down when he gets home. It’s almost as if someone flipped a switch in him. He starts to cry, taking gasping breaths, and Even immediately starts to panic.

“Whoa, whoa, are you ok?” He asks, and Isak shakes his head. Even wraps him in a tight hug, and Isak tries desperately to catch his breath. “Shh...you’re alright. I’ve got you.”

“I can’t do this,” Isak chokes out, and Even holds him more tightly.

“Breathe with me,” he says, and Isak tries to match the steady rise and fall of his chest. After a few minutes, Isak has finally relaxed enough to speak but aggravated at himself for lapsing into his first panic attack in almost a month. 

They sit down together on the couch, Isak trembling and drained and out of breath.

“Leia!” Even calls softly, and the little cat comes running in from the other room, letting out a soft mew when Even picks her up. “Isak doesn’t feel good, he needs your special cat powers,” Even says softly, and Isak has to laugh, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. Even sets the kitten down, and Isak touches her gingerly.

They sit there in silence for a few minutes, Isak concentrating on the rumbling purring of the tiny animal in his lap. It’s oddly calming.

“Listen, Isak,” Even finally says. “You can do anything. Everything.”

“I don’t know.”

“I know you’re afraid. It’s ok to be afraid. But I’m here, ok? You’re the strongest person I know,” he says and presses a soft kiss to Isak’s lips. “Just think about everything you’ve been through.”

Isak nods, pressing his lips into a tight line.

“I love you,” Even whispers, and Isak gives him a small smile.

“I love you too.”

\---

“Do you know what today is?” Even asks out of the blue. Isak shakes his head absently, not looking up from his laptop. “You attacked me...6 months ago. Today.”

“What?” Isak asks, shocked. “I attacked you?”

“Yeah. This day. Our meeting day. You have known the music of Nas for 6 months.” Isak smiles, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Even’s cheek.

“I knew it before that! I had listened to some.”

“Likely story. Likely story.” 

“Fine. Maybe I had only heard a couple of songs. I thought you were hot and got flustered.”

“I was freaking out. I couldn’t believe that you’d actually go with me very early in the morning to get burgers. I was like ‘fuck can’t screw this up. Can’t screw this up,’ the entire time.”

“You were nervous?” Isak asks. Even blushes slightly, running his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah. Very.”

\---

\--->LOL have you guys seen Vilde’s snaps?  
\-----> which one? [The one with Isak ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/160123564557/modern-royalty-au)?  
\--------> nah [the ones with the cat ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/160123666757/modern-royalty-au). I think it’s Evak’s. I heard they bought a cat  
\----------> what do you think they named it?????  
\------------> i bet he named it after some star wars shit  
\--------------> lol [look ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/160123939337/modern-royalty-au)

 

\--->christ have ya’ll seen this pic of [even ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/160123566482/modern-royalty-au)? He looks dope af  
\-----> look at this pic[ isak posted ](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com/post/160123745937/modern-royalty-au)  
\-------> im kinkshaming

 

\---> im so happy he’s ok after everything  
\-----> the matt myers interview was great! And i can’t believe thats how they met hahaha  
\-------> honestly it’s almost too real. Like i’m pretty sure i’ve read fanfic w that exact plot

 

\--->so wait did Louise and Amy get married? Like for reall?  
\----->hi Even!!!!  
\--------> Yep. working out really well tbh.  
\---------->omg!!! Send us pictures!!! Isak and I ship you!!!!   
\-------------> ev they’re joking they’re strangers on the internet ur too gullible  
\--------------->fuck u babe :)

 

\--->Help! What should I major in?  
\----->what do u like? U should get to do something u enjoy. You can always switch  
\------->should i just randomly pick?  
\---------->I’ll be right home! We can talk. Don’t randomly pick

 

\---

“It says I have to pick a major,” Isak calls and Even pokes his head out of the bathroom.

“You can’t pick undeclared?” His toothbrush is sticking halfway out of his mouth.

“No.” Even walks into the living room in his boxers, plopping down next to his boyfriend on the couch, still half brushing his teeth. He takes a moment to look over the web page open the laptop.

“Well, what do you think you want to major in?” Isak sighs.

“I don’t know.” He rubs his eyes. Even frowns.

“Are you coming down with something?” He asks, and Isak turns to look at him.

“Uh, I don’t know.” He does know. The answer is yes. However, Even doesn’t need to worry about that right now.

“Ok,” Even says, even though he’s clearly skeptical. He looks back at the laptop. “Uh, why don’t you start off in Bio. See how you like it.”

“You think so?”

“You can change it anytime, so if you decide it’s not what you want, that’s fine.”

It’s more than that, though. When Isak makes this decision he’ll be essentially sealing his fate. Maybe that’s too strong a phrase. He’ll be...taking his next step. Moving forward.

Is he ready for that? He’s not sure.

\---

“Hey guys! It’s my weekly livestream, in case you don’t know what’s going on, and I’m here to chill with you guys for a little while and answer questions. As you may have already guessed, Isak is here with me today because he’s sick, so…” Even trails off, smiling, adjusting the webcam. Isak’s head rests in his lap. He’s wearing one of Even’s NRU sweatshirts, shivering and half awake. He watches the comments start to appear in the sidebar of the video. “‘Is he ok?’ Yeah he’ll be fine he’s just terrible at listening to my advice.”

“I’m not even that sick,” he mumbles, and Even laughs softly, running a hand through his hair.

“He can’t even get out of bed,” Even tells the camera.

“Yes I can,” he protests weakly, and Even continues to stroke his hair.

“Go for it then, babe.” Isak tucks his head tighter against his boyfriend.

“Don’t feel like it.”

“I know. Ok, another question, ‘you said Isak is terrible at listening to your advice, what do you mean?’ Oh this one is fun. Isak’s been feeling awful for three days and every morning I told him he needed to take it easy. And now he’s here.” Even reads more of the comments. “Christ, you’re so distracting, Iss. Everyone is just clamoring for the details of your crippling illness.”

“What do they wanna know?”

“‘Does he have a fever?’ Yes. ‘Is he gross sick or cute sick?’ Both. ‘Is he needy?’ Very. Honestly, he gets sick all the time. It’s almost funny.”

“You’re so mean to me. Why is my boyfriend so mean to me?” Even smiles. “Will you make me tea?”

“You really want tea?” Even asks, and Isak nods, nuzzling his nose against Even’s sweatpants.

“Mmhmm.”

“Ok. Fine. Don’t go anywhere. I don't want to responsible for the death of the future king,” Even teases gently, and gets up from his place on the bed. 

“I’ll do what I want, babe,” Isak calls to him weakly as he walks away, trying to hide his smile.

Isak turns back to the comments. Once he gets past the ‘awwweeeeess <3’ and one ‘ur engaged?!’ he starts getting to the interesting parts.

"‘Even be nice to Isak he might have some immune issues bc he’s royal and/or not enough nutrients while small. Not funny.’ Wow Ev. Calling you out. ‘Ur so cute. Wow.’ Thank you. I think that as my life got worse I got cuter in defense. Like a baby,” Isak says absently, already reading the next question. “‘What kind of tea are you having?’ Oh I don't know I guess Even is gonna pick. We have a couple of types I think. There's probably like a ginger health one or something.” He rubs his eyes. “‘Top or bottom?’ I’m assuming you’re asking which floor of the apartment complex we live on, which is a great question but it’s a little hard to answer because our building has 75 floors.”

The sharp sound of the tea kettle boiling makes his head hurt, but it stops as quickly as it started. Only a few moments later Even is back, setting down two mugs on the bedside table, and Isak makes room for him on the bed.

He starts to hand him the warm mug, but Isak’s stomach rolls violently and he can’t hold back a soft whine.

“You ok?” Even asks, and he nods, taking the mug, but even the smell makes him feel sick.

“I don’t think I can drink this right now.” Even raises his eyebrows, taking the statement as a joke.

“You’re telling me you don’t want it? Ungrateful. I swear.” Isak feels shaky tears starting to well in his eyes, and Even immediately changes his tone. “Whoa, hey, it’s ok baby. I’m not mad.”

“I...I don’t know what’s wrong with me today,” Isak mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“You’re sick, it’s ok.” At that moment, Even seems to realize the livestream is still recording their every word. He looks up at the camera. “I think I’m gonna sign off for now, then I’ll come back when Isak feels better.”

“No, Ev, I don’t wanna ruin it,” he protests softly, but Even kisses his forehead.

“You’re not ruining it.” Even turns off the camera, maneuvering Isak so he’s lying down under the covers. It’s so strange to have someone take care of him like this. Eskild was great, but he’d come around twice, maybe three times a day. Even’s been next to him almost every moment - watching movies, making toast, cuddling with him when he’s cold, rubbing his aching stomach (strange, but oddly comforting). Isak almost never asks for anything, but Even seems to know what he needs ahead of time.

So now, when Even climbs under the covers next to him, Isak just curls closer.

“Maybe you should be in more videos,” Even remarks, and Isak hums slightly in response. “If you want to.”

“Mmhmm.”

 

\---

 

He can’t believe it’s been six months. More than six months have passed since that night with the burgers, and so much has changed it almost doesn’t feel real. 

His whole life, he’s never trusted anybody. Not really. He’s never felt safe. Everything was always hanging by a thread, he was always walking on thin ice. 

Now, he finally feels steady. Steady and safe and ok. 

He looks at the boy across the table from him, eating the burnt pancakes Isak made for breakfast. His eyes so blue. His smile so bright. The rising sun through the window makes him shine. Glow.

And Isak knows now, maybe forever, he’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Headed Straight for the Castle Tumblr](https://headedstraightforthecastle-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Headed Straight for the Castle Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/2RQ3ehNCFGBuu2k6cNSeHK)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


End file.
